Explorer’s Log: I am on day twenty of my forty-six day journey to the star system designated “The Queen’s Tortuous Execution of Astronomers Who Doubted She Read Their Work” by Royal Astronomers. Today marks the third time I have had to repair a malfunction in the waste recycler. The smell of shit is getting pretty distracting. I am reporting this in the hopes that engineers tasked with making my ship are punished for their shoddy work. End Explorer’s Log.
Explorer’s Personal Log: Trapped inside a ship with the smell of your own shit was not something they ever put on the explorer recruitment posters. I’m just lucky that I have Chairbot here to help keep me distracted.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel Di cried out. Her dark brown thighs quivered around the vibrating chair. She looked down on her plump brown tits that were jiggling from the intense vibrations. A river of sweat coated her entire body.
The best part was that all she could smell was her soaked pussy.
“Chairbot, enough!” Vaquel said.
The vibrations continued. “Are you sure, Mistress?” Chairbot asked beneath her.
“Yes!” she snapped. Chairbot questioning more of her orders lately. She hoped it was because the sex robot was reluctant to stop pleasuring her and not because of some emerging independent personality disorder. You never knew with robots.
The vibrations ceased. Vaquel groaned and unclenched her thighs. She leaned back and Chairbot adjusted to give her back support. Idly she ran her fingers through her soaked pink pubic hair.
“That was a good fuck,” Vaquel said.
“Your ass feels great against my exterior,” Chairbot said. “I love being sat on by you!”
“No one asked you,” Vaquel said. Gods of the Underworld, can’t a gal just sit in post orgasmic bliss in peace?
Chairbot stopped talking. Occasionally he would moan with delight as her sweaty ass shifted. That was okay. Vaquel would allow his moans.
She started thinking about the waste recycler. Every day a different piece of it broke. After four years in space, it was possible that it was just breaking down with age. If that was the case, it was just a matter of time before something more important like the engine or the chocolate synthesizer broke down.
Vaquel smelled something. To her surprise, it wasn’t shit. This smelled like cheese.
She took another sniff. Yes, it was definitely cheese. For one brief moment she worried that something was growing in the waste recycler.
“Happiness to you, alien being! Do not be alarmed! We are communicating to you with a telepathic message sent out to find intelligent life!”
“Oh Queen’s tit,” Vaquel sighed. Psychics were the worse. They were impossible to lie to which was a vital part of Euphorian exploration and conquest.
“Who the fuck are you?” Vaquel said out loud.
“I’m Chairbot, Mistress!”
“Shut up, I’m in telepathic contact with something!” Vaquel said.
“We don’t know your language but the power of telepathy allows us to communicate to you in a language you understand. Our greatest minds have recorded this message and it is being beamed out in the hopes of finding sentient beings.”
“Wait, this is just a recording?” Vaquel asked.
“We are the Idki. We live on a planet that is fourth from our sun,” the voice continued. “Our star is a blue giant. We have nine major continents on our planet and water covers eighty-two percent of our planet.”
“Fuck me,” Vaquel swore. Chairbot began to vibrate until Vaquel slapped her seat. “Knock that off! I was bitching about this message. It is going to be like a damn encyclopedia entry.”
“Can you turn it off, Mistress?” Chairbot asked.
“Let’s see,” Vaquel said. There were two methods of psychic defense taught to all explorers. The first was to picture the Queen in all of her magnificent glory and to ignore everything else.
Vaquel thought back to the one time she met Queen Erishella. It was right before Vaquel stepped into her space probe and the Queen had come to bless the ship. She had worn a red dress that was mostly rubies and transparent mesh. Vaquel had been amazed at the cruel confidence that the queen radiated.
Vaquel’s mouth was overwhelmed by something salty and tangy.
“That didn’t work,” Vaquel said. That just left the second method.
Vaquel reached down to her sex. It was a good thing that she had just climaxed because that left her very sensitive. She took a deep breath and let it out. Then she sharply pinched her clitoris as hard as she could.
“FUCK!” The pain was sharp and intense.
“Music is a popular pastime among the young. This is the most downloaded song on our media network.”
A sound like a thousand bubbles popping boomed through Vaquel’s mind. Was that words? Was it music? Was there even a beat?
Vaquel twisted her clitoris harder but the ‘music’ kept going. After a minute of abusing herself, she released her clitoris.
The song continued for another five minutes.
“This is crazy,” Vaquel said. “Chairbot, is the next star system a blue giant?”
“Yes, Mistress,” Chairbot said. “With six planets.”
“Great, we’re heading to the source of the transmission,” Vaquel said. “I am going to give those assholes a piece of my fist when we get there.”
“Another popular pastime is serialized crime dramas,” the message continued. “Our current most popular drama is about seven former cheese tasters who now solve murders for the government. The plot reached a dramatic point during the last season when Inspector Ao discovered that the rare cheese at the crime scene belonged to a member of Inspector Ei’s family. This led to a confrontation at-”
Vaquel gave up on blocking the message. She thought about taking notes for a report but discarded that idea as well. The report would simply be, “Telepathic assholes broadcast their location to everyone. They like cheese a lot.”
“Is the message still going on, Mistress?” Chairbot asked.
“Yes, damn it,” Vaquel said.
If she couldn’t block it, she would just ignore it. Maybe the message would sense that she wasn’t paying attention and stop broadcasting.
Vaquel took a shower as images and smells of the Idkians’ top twenty cheese farms played through her mind. She ate a lunch of algae steak and salad as Idkian poetry about cheese fermentation was recited in her head. The waste recycler broke down again and Vaquel was subjected to a long explanation of Idkian social media memes involving small flightless birds that wanted cheese with grammatically incorrect phrases.
Four hours later, Vaquel wondered if the Idkians were some sort of subtlety sadistic race that she had underestimated.
“I don’t give a fucking fuck about any of your fucking cheese fucking culture!” Vaquel screamed out loud.
“Poor Mistress,” Chairbot said. “Would sitting on me help?”
Vaquel snarled and looked for a weapon to hit Chairbot with. That was when the message began a new topic.
“Although sex has an important function in reproduction and after cheese tasting parties, it has also become a primary method of resolving social tension between rivals, enemies, friends and complete strangers.”
Vaquel perked up.
“For example, the application of a mouth to a genital is used for resolving traffic disputes.
A furious licking sensation affected Vaquel’s sex. She cried out and bent over as a tongue the length of her arm lashed over her sex. Chairbot rolled over to her and she quickly sat down on him.
“Are you in pain, Mistress?” Chairbot asked. “I am sorry that you are suffering but your plush buttocks feel wonderful on my seat!”
“I’m fine,” Vaquel groaned. “I am having my pussy telepathically eaten.”
The tongue snaked into Vaquel’s sex and flicked around inside her. Hot breath fell on her pussy lips. A second, smaller tongue pressed hard against her clitoris.
“Fuck yes,” Vaquel moaned. Finally, a use for telepathy!
The tongue coiled inside her sex. It began to rotate as the tongue expanded outward. It was like being licked by a slow moving piece of rope. It made a few rotations and then rotated in the opposite direction.
Vaquel gripped the sides of Chairbot. Back and forth the long tongue moved inside her. Vaquel could feel the juices flowing from her sex and onto Chairbot. Not a bad reaction for a tongue that wasn’t even there!
“For minor offences like spilled cheese dip, manual manipulation is common.”
The tongue vanished and Vaquel groaned with disappointment. It was replaced with tiny digits pulling and tugging at her pussy lips. She tried to count them but there were too many.
Vaquel spread her thighs as the telepathic fingers pulled her pussy lips open. Other fingers began to dance inside her. Some of the fingers pulled at her clitoris while others rubbed her tiny nub. Something thick pressed into her and she wandered if it was a fist.
It pushed inside her and she gasped. Yes, that was a fist.
“Fuck, I got to get these guys to spill some cheese dip when I get there,” Vaquel said.
The fist fucked her. Vaquel bit her lip as her sex was stretched. The feeling was intense and especially strange considering that she could look at her sex and see nothing there. The fisting continued in her mind and felt just as good as if it was in her pussy.
“For more serious social offences like talking in a media center, oral attention is required elsewhere.”
The fist vanished. Vaquel whimpered as she suddenly felt empty. The whimpered turned into a surprised gasp as something licked her asshole.
“These guys have a lot of offences,” Vaquel moaned.
The long tongue licked her buttocks. Long loving licks travelled up the curve of her ass. Equally loving licks travelled down the crack of her ass. She felt like she was so slowly having her ass washed clean.
The tip of the tongue pressed against her anus. It flicked against her opening in a teasing manner. The rest of the tongue continued to move and lick across her buttocks while the tip teased her.
“Mistress, you are clenching wonderfully!” Chairbot said beneath her.
Vaquel didn’t answer. The tongue pushed against her tight asshole and Vaquel as waiting to see if it went in. She was terrified of the entire tongue flowing into her ass even though it was just an imaginary tongue. As scared as she was, she couldn’t wait to see what it felt like.
The tip of the tongue went into her asshole. Vaquel wiggled on Chairbot as it flicked inside her. The tongue tasted the most intimate forbidden part of her and it seemed to want more.
The tongue vanished. Vaquel cried out in frustration.
“Although there is a complex hierarchy of ways to appease someone you offended, a lot of Idkians prefer to skip straight to what we call, Vivi Style.”
“What the fuck is Vivi Style?” Vaquel said out loud.
A strange vertigo came over Vaquel. She felt like she was facing downward even though she was sitting upright. Her breasts felt like they were falling straight away from her body. A cock push into her sex as someone’s lap pressed into her ass.
“Oh,” Vaquel said. They called this Wolf Style back home.
The cock began to fuck her. Hard savage thrusts nailed her from behind, or in this case, from beneath. She felt her breasts shake with the force of the thrusts even though she was sitting still. Dozens of tiny fingers gripped her hips as the cock slammed into her.
“Mistress, your ass quivers so nicely!” Chairbot said.
Vaquel ignored him. After all of the teasing, this is what she needed. The cock fit her perfectly though she wondered if that was due to species similarities or telepathic simplification. She didn’t care. Vaquel was getting fucked.
Even the best fucking could use a little help. Vaquel reached down to her sex and started stroking. She felt the telepathic cock fucking her but she also felt her own fingers. It was as if she possessed two pussies and both were getting fucked.
She felt something flick her spine. It happened again at the crack of her ass and then again at the base of her neck. Vaquel realized what it was. The Idkian was licking her body at random places with their insanely long tongue. At one point if arced under her and flicked a nipple.
“Fucking awesome,” Vaquel groaned. She writhed on top of Chairbot as the tongue continued to explore her. She felt it graze her lips. It flicked the back of her knee. At one point it reached under her and licked her pussy as it was being fucked.
She was so close. Vaquel wondered if she could get off on a telepathic fucking. She worried that this part of the message could stop at any time. It was frustrating that there was no way to communicate back to whoever was sending the message. Her fingers went deeper inside her slick pussy in a race for her pleasure.
Vaquel climaxed. “Glory to the Queen!” she cried. She wiggled in the throes of orgasm as Chairbot moaned beneath her.
The fucking continued. Vaquel stopped stroking herself but the sensation of being pounded continued. She clenched her thighs together but the telepathic cock kept ramming her now overly sensitive pussy.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, stop, stop!” Vaquel cried out.
Mercifully the fucking did stop. Vaquel let out a sigh of relief.
“No matter the appeasement chosen, most Idkians do not consider an offence truly forgiven until after the face proof.”
“What?” Vaquel said and then she felt a hot torrent of fluid striking her face. Salty sticky fluid coated her face and splashed onto her tits. She clenched her eyes and mouth shut as the spray of alien seed continued.
A minute later, the gush finally stopped. Vaquel tried to wipe the seed from her face but it didn’t really exist. The feeling of a sticky coated persisted.
“Damn, remind me not to offer to swallow anyone’s load,” Vaquel said out loud.
“Noted, Mistress!” Chairbot said.
“This concludes our message of peace, hope and knowledge,” the voice continued. Thankfully the feeling of being doused in alien seed vanished. “We hope you enjoyed learning about us and will come to our world. We are eager to learn about you as well as taste your cheeses!”
The telepathic message finally ended. For the first time in hours, all was quiet inside Vaquel’s mind. She let out a long sigh of exhaustion as she settled onto Chairbot. At least she got a good fucking out of it.
Vaquel checked her journey status. It would be another twenty-six days before she landed on their planet. There was some preparation work she should do not least of which was work on her psychic blocking exercises.
The smell of cheese filled the probe ship.
“Happiness to you, alien being! Do not be alarmed! We are communicating to you’re a telepathic message sent out to find intelligent life!”
“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel whispered in horror.
The message was repeating.