Nov 102014

Wanted vigilante and spacenet pirate, Jen-4, has been identified to be in this Omigon sanctioned commerce zone! It is a Class Five Fine to protect or aid this criminal. It is a Class Four Fine to withhold knowledge of this criminal. It is a Class Three Fine to produce merchandise with this criminal’s likeness without Omigon Corporation Approval.

Jen-4 has been charged with eight thousand counts of spacenet piracy by the Omigon Corporation. She has also been found guilty of updating starship combat programs without paying licensing fees to the amount of ninety thousand credits. She is the prime suspect in the theft of three hundred wage slaves from the Omigon Corporation Human Enslavement Department. She has taken credit for the Great Pornography Flood that slowed down our judicial system with repeated holographic sex acts in our court rooms. Finally, she has been charged with being in violation of the Omigon End-User-License-Agreement for her engineering brain enhancement programs.

Jen-4 is a cyberdyne with all of the calculating prowess and interface capabilities of that race. She has pale skin, long black hair and a Mark VII video display instead of eyes. The Mark VII video display is not on the Omigon network and is capable of displaying rude images. The chance of a rude image being displayed by Jen-4 is quite high.

This criminal’s current employment is with the bad credit risk, Captain Blastpants. Please consult the Omigon Corporation’s List of Top Ten Opportunities for Beneficial Executions for more information on this pirate.

Jen-4 is considered armed and hazardous to information systems. If seen, do not attempt an arrest but call your nearest Omigon Corporation Security Associate. If seen, turn off all of your information systems after deleting any pornography that you shouldn’t have been owning in the first place.

A reward of Forty Vacation Days will be given for information leading to Jen-4’s arrest.

  2 Responses to “Topaz Alert: Jen-4”

  1. Heh, even the wanted posters make me want to live in this universe. Sounds yummy.

    • It occurred to me that Wanted Posters can tell you as much about the Government that wants a criminal as the criminal themselves.

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