May 072014
 

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Gerald said.

Kimberly Wei, sexual archeologist, was skeptical. “It looks like you stuck your dick inside an ancient Roman statue,” she said.

“Well yes,” Gerald admitted. Her assistant’s face was a crimson mask of blushing. “But I swear, she was alive a moment ago. It was when she heard you coming that she turned into a statue.”

“Mm-hmm,” Kimberly said. She examined the statue. It was a marble sculpture of a woman on her back with her legs spread wide. The details were exquisitely lifelike from the mole on the left breast to the slight curve of the statue’s big toe. The altar beneath the marble woman depicted a ritual of Bacchus that Kimberly as unfamiliar with.

Kimberly bound her long black hair into a ponytail before taking a look at where Gerald was stuck. It was hard to see past all of his pubic hair but it appeared that his thick cock was encased in the marble vagina of the statue. Kimberly was impressed with the craftsmanship of the statue’s vagina. Every fold of her labia was meticulously sculpted.

“You know this archeological site was only unearthed last week because of that freak landslide, right?” Kimberly said.

“I know,” Gerald said.

“And that we were very lucky to have been invited to help excavate and evaluate this temple?” Kimberly said. “In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact that there is an abundance of pornographic murals in this temple, they would have just examined it themselves instead of calling in sex archeologists.”

“I know,” Gerald said sheepishly. His cock pulsed inside the marble and he winced.

“So it is really unprofessional to stick your dick inside a statue that hasn’t even been examined properly yet,” Kimberly said. “

“I’m telling you, she was alive a moment ago!” Gerald said. “She came to life and said that she was here to aid in the coming grape harvest. Her name was Marsha.”

“That is not even remotely a Roman name,” Kimberly said.

“I wasn’t going to correct a statue that came to life on her name!” Gerald snapped.

Kimberly smirked. It wasn’t like her assistant to get snarky. Maybe the marble grip around his cock was making him testy.

“So you can’t pull out?” she asked.

“No, I’ve tried,” he said.

“It is an altar statue,” Kimberly said. “It probably needs an offering before letting go. You should climax.”

Gerald made a face. “It is pretty tight and cold in here. I can’t possible come here. I am not even sure why I still have an erection.”

“Hmm,” Kimberly said. “I have a solution.” She went to her workcase and took out one of her latex gloves to put on.

“Do you think there is a release mechanism in the statue?” Gerald asked.

“There is a release mechanism, but it isn’t in the statue,” Kimberly said. She took out a bottle of Von Madd Ultra-lube and squirted it onto her gloved fingers.

“Wait, why do you have a bottle of lube in your workcase?” Gerald asked.

“You’re not the first archeologist who has gotten his cock stuck in something ancient and pretty,” Kimberly said. “Penis related abrasions are the second most common archeologist injury right behind poison darts.”

“So we’re going to lube up my cock?” Gerald asked.

Kimberly smiled. Dimples appeared on her Asian face. “This isn’t for your cock,” she said.

Gerald watched as she stepped behind him. He felt warm slippery fingers open his ass. The blush on his face deepened in a dark scarlet.

“Whoa!” Gerald yelled.

Kimberly pushed inside his ass. She was surprised at how tight he was. She would have thought that a college student would be more adventurous. Her ass resisted but Kimberly’s gloved fingers were persistent.

“You need to relax,” Kimberly said. “Tell me more about Marcie.”

“Her name was Marsha,” Gerald said. He grunted and tried to remember. “She long black hair, like your’s. She was naked of course, and she sat on the altar. She called me by my name and offered herself to me. She told me I could touch her wherever I wanted.”

Kimberly slid her fingers deeper in Gerald’s ass. He was slowly unclenching. “And where did you touch her?”

“I grabbed her tits,” Gerald said.

“Of course you did,” Kimberly said. “How did they feel? Like marble?” Her fingers slid deeper into Gerald’s tight ass.

Gerald grunted. “No, they are soft. I told you that she came to life.”

“Yes, that is what you said,” Kimberly said.

“I can’t believe that you don’t believe me!” Gerald said. “Remember that time I turned into a were-jaguar? Or that time that mummy went down on you? We see weird shit all the time! We’re archeologists!”

Kimberly slid her fingers deeper into Gerald’s ass. He let out a loud groan. Kimberly felt her finger get drawn into his ass. She crooked her finger and searched for a small oblong protrusion. She found it easily.

“It is like you said,” Kimberly said. “We see weird shit but today, I just see a guy with his cock inside a statue.”

“She was real, I’m telling you,” Gerald said. “Oh, that feels good! She said that she had waited ages for a man.”

“I didn’t know you spoke Latin?” Kimberly said. She rubbed the found gland in a gentle circle.

“She was speaking English,” Gerald said. “She’s a fucking magic statue! She can speak whatever she wants!”

“Look, its Occam’s razor,” Kimberly said. She rubbed faster. “What is more likely; that you fucked a magic woman who turned into a statue when I came into the room, or I caught a student fucking a statue?”

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!” Gerald cried. His ass clenched around Kimberly’s finger. His cock exploded and released a load of seed into the statue. Gerald yelled his orgasm and then popped out of the statue.

“Thank fucking God!” Gerald yelled. He grabbed his cock with both hands as if he would never let go of it again.

Kimberly pulled her fingers out of Gerald’s ass. “Thank Professor Smith,” she said as she disposed of the glove. “He taught me that trick when got his dick stuck in a false Grail.”

  2 Responses to “Fiction: The Roman Statue”

  1. *sigh* Love that mummy line.

    > “So it is really unprofessional to stick your dick inside a statue that hasn’t even been examined properly yet,” Kimberly said. “

    And this one. Thank you! This was fantastic!

    • Thanks. The line about being unprofessional was the genesis for the entire story.

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