May 142014

The Cabin Woman jacked my cock. Her cybernetic hand vibrated at a rather pleasant speed. She licked her lips and leaned in close to suck me. I grabbed her hair and stopped her. Halla’s handjobs were awesome but her cocksucking was mediocre.

“How much longer are we going to wait here?” Pious Pam asked. She was getting antsy because she had already snorted all her drugs and finished off the rum bottle.

“As long as it takes,” I growled.

A cool wind blew through the woods. Halla kept stroking my cock and kept the chill off my balls.

My space pirates were getting cranky. This planet was a primitive backwater without a decent bar for miles. We had been waiting for an hour and there was still no sign of our appointment. Hell, I was getting cranky but sometimes being a space pirate means having to sit on your ass for a while. That was what Cabin Women were for.

“Everyone put your weapons down in the name of the Pik Collective!” a voice cried out.

I shoved Halla away from my cock and stood up. My intelligent pants zipped themselves up. My hands went to my laser but five blue targeting dots appeared on my chest. I looked at my fellow pirates and saw similar blue dots on their bodies.

All around us, soldiers came out of the forest. They outnumbered us two to one. I made a promise to kill the pirates I put on watch duty if they were not dead already.

“Captain Blastpants, I am Captain Kianna Gan of the Pik Collective,” a familiar voice said.

I smiled as Kianna stepped out from behind a tree. The Asiatic beauty was always a pleasant sight but also a pleasant sight was her enormous cleavage that looked like it was about to burst from her tight blue uniform. A pleasant shiver went through me as I remembered the last time I saw these lovely giant tits.

“I am informing you, Captain Blastpants, that you and your associates are under arrest,” Kianna said. “You have been accused of thirty-eight acts of piracy as well as one act of sexual molestation of a Pik Collective Officer.”

My cock throbbed at the memory of the molestation. I called it more of a rescue. Kianna had surrendered to me to save her crew but then she insulted me. I had to do something to keep the respect of my crew or else they would have demanded her death. I choose fucking her tits and coming on her chest while both our crews watched. My crew loved it but apparently she held a grudge. Some people are never grateful.

“Captain Gan, I am going to give you some friendly advice,” I said.

She pointed her hand laser at my crotch. “And what would that be?” she asked.

“I suggest you take your men and leave her immediately,” I said. “Also forget that you ever saw me on this planet.”

Her crew laughed. Kianna didn’t even crack a smile. She was all business. “Ridiculous. I am taking you into custody now so that you may be tried for your crimes under Pik Collective law.”

I almost said something but I stopped. A red light appeared on the pale abundant flesh of her cleavage. Other red lights appeared by the dozens on her crew as well as my pirates.

“Too late,” I whispered.

“By the Lords of Space, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” a voice thundered.

Out of the woods came scarred pirates with nasty needle weapons. They outnumbered my crew and Kianna’s crew by two to one. I was starting to experience some feelings of inadequacy.

“Hey Captain Spikeballs,” I said. “You’re late but at least you are here.”

“FUCK YOU!” Captain Spikeballs said. He was the last to come out of the woods. He was an uncouth bastard even by space pirate standards. The smell of filth was strong on him as well as the smell of dried blood on his clothes. He had a lazy eye that seeped constantly down his face and into his ragged beard. He was a sadist and a psychopath. He had such a nasty reputation that not even space pirate havens would have him which is why we were meeting in the middle of nowhere. Worse of all, he shouted all the fucking time.

“Everyone drop your FUCKING weapons!” Captain Spikeballs said. I dropped my laser and so did my crew. Kianna took a deep breath and her cleavage expanded delightfully before she too dropped her weapons. Her crew disarmed as well.

“I told you come by yourself and you bring a bunch of crew AND the FUCKING Pik Collective!” Captain Spikeballs said. “You told me that you wanted to buy my Wormhole Torpedoes but this looks like a trap! I should kill you now!”

“Yeah, I do want your torpedoes and you’re the only crazy bastard willing to sell me some,” I snapped. “But even then I am not stupid enough to come by myself. As for this Pik bitch-“

“Hey!” Kianna interrupted.

“I knew how much you hate the Pik Collective so I brought you a prize,” I finished.

“You bastard!” Kianna said. “I am no one’s prize!”

I spun around and grabbed Kianna by the back of her bun. She gasped and her cleavage stressed the structural stability of her uniform.

“Shut up,” I whispered. “I’m trying to save your life.”

Her eyes narrowed at that but she closed her lips.

“I haven’t tortured a Pik officer in DAYS!” Captain Spikeballs said. He came closer and smelled worse.

“That’s what I plan to do,” I said as I desperately tried to think of a plan.

“Are you we going to FLAY her skin and FEED IT TO HER?” Captain Spikeballs said.

I fought back a gag. “Oh no, that isn’t how you torture a Pik officer.”

Captain Spikeballs snarled. “It ISN’T?”

“Oh no,” I said. “Members of the Pik Collective deal with physical discomfort all their lives from the sticks up their asses. The only pain they truly feel is psychological.”

Captain Spikeballs frowned. “We’re going to crack open her skull and eat her BRAIN slowly?”

Kianna tensed and I felt that she might do something stupid. I twisted her bun in my grip and she cried out.

“Here, I’ll be happy to show you,” I said. “That is if you will permit me to torture her?”

A moment passed. Captain Spikeballs stared at me with his good eye. His bad eye seeped a little bit. His fingers gripped his needle gun tightly.

“All right, TORTURE the bitch,” Captain Spikeballs said.

“First thing we do is strip her pants,” I said.

“What?!” Kianna said.

I yanked her by the bun and nearly took her off her feet. Kianna leaned against me and I whispered into her ear.

“Take off your pants if you and your crew want to live,” I said.

Kianna stood back up and glared at me. She wasn’t going to do it. I saw my pirate career and most of my internal organs coming to an end at the hands of Captain Spikeballs.

She hooked her fingers into her pants. A button was pressed and the billions of sentient threads that made up her pants slid off her legs. In seconds she was naked from the waist down.

I glanced at her ass and did a double take. By the Lords of Space, her ass was almost as curvy as her tits! I had never noticed that before. Probably because when I looked at her through the viewscreen of the bridge all I saw was her face and her tits. Who knew that all this time I was missing out on the second natural wonder of the galaxy?

“Ah, do we use hot KNIVES on her RECTAL hole?” Captain Spikeballs asked.

“No, and second of all, I can’t believe you know the word, rectal,” I said. I pulled Kianna over to a fallen tree and sat down. My hand pulled Kianna across my lap and she cried out in indigent outrage.

There was grumbling from her soldiers. I was worried that they might try to stop us but no, they just came closer to get a better look. Captain Spikeballs’ men came closer too. I hoped that my crew would hang back and gain a tactical advantage but nope, those assholes gathered around too. We had a full audience.

“So what do we DO?” Captain Spikeballs demanded.

I rubbed my hand over Kianna’s ass. She began to squirm wonderfully. I grabbed one of her arms and forced it behind her back.

“First, we begin with groping to begin her humiliation,” I said. We squeeze her plump ass and appreciate just how fucking curvy this ass is. Damn, baby has got aft!”

Captain Spikeballs didn’t look like he was buying it at first but then his eyes widened. “Why is her face TURNING RED?”

I took a quick glance. “That is called blushing. It is umm, blood rushing to her face as brain cells writhe in agony from her humiliation.”

My crew and the Pik soldiers looked at each other. Thankfully, none of them said anything.

“Then WHAT? Captain Spikeballs said.

“Once you have groped, fondled and maybe pinched every curve of her ass,” I said as Kianna let out a squeak of protest. “Then you spank her.”

Whap! I brought my hand down on her ass. Kianna’s round buttocks quivered from the force of my slap. All three crews let out a sigh of appreciation.

“Bastard!” Kianna shouted. She wiggled across my lap and my intelligent pants wanted to unzip.

“Shouldn’t you hit her HARDER?” Captain Spikeballs said. “”You’re not even BREAKING THE SKIN!”

“You have to be careful,” I said. “If you cause too much physical harm, the Pik body will just shut down to block out the pain.”

“That explains why so many Pik soldiers pass out after I BITE OFF THEIR EARS,” Captain Spikeballs said.

Kianna shuddered on my lap. I slapped her ass again. Whap!

“Now once her ass has been slapped a few times, you can go faster,” I said.

“What?” Kianna cried.

I showed her. Whap! Whap! Whap! I slapped her ass in a nice tight little barrage of hits. I focused on the bottom curves of her ass for maximum jiggling of her butt. I had a bullshit reason for doing that which I was going to say to Spikeballs but I forgot it as soon as I saw the hypnotic bouncing of her ass cheeks.

“And this HURTS?” Captain Spikeballs asked. He looked doubtful.

I had a little extra pep to my slap. WHAP! Kianna screamed and kicked her legs.

“Asshole!” Kianna screamed.

“I GUESS SO,” Captain Spikeballs admitted.

WHAP! WHAP! I kept slapping Kianna’s ass. The bottom of her ass was turning pink so I moved to striking the top of her ass. There was a lot of fucking ass to spank. That was a good thing; it gave me time to think of how I was going to get out of this.

“You’ll pay for this, Blastpants!” Kianna yelled.

Captain Spikeballs laughed. “She really DOES hate this. Do you want to use a PAIN GLOVE?”

“No, remember, light and slow,” I said. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! I slapped the sides of her ass in my almost futile quest to transform her giant ass from pale to pink.

“Marines, stop this!” Kianna ordered her crew.

None of her men moved to help her although quite a few of them moved their hands to hide their growing erections.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Kianna yelled. The normally proper and composed Captain was losing it. She wiggled on my lap as she tried to escape but with her arm pinned behind her back she couldn’t get any leverage. Her heavy tits bounced against my leg as she squirmed on top of my bulge trapped within my pants.

“What is that leaking down her leg?” Captain Spikeballs asked.

I looked and damn, Kianna’s sex was flowing with desire.

“Seriously?” I asked Captain Spikeballs. My hand paused in spanking Kianna. “You’ve never seen a wet pussy before?”

The savage pirate shrugged. “Usually they are covered in FIRE when I see a naked woman.”

“Lords of Space,” Kianna groaned. I agreed. I also returned to spanking her.


“Asshole!” Kianna screamed.

My hand kept spanking her plump ass. All three crews watched as I put in the time and effort to hit every part of her ass. My hand started to sting but I kept going. I slapped her ass from top to bottom and bottom to top. I spanked the sides of her ass until they were as pink as the rest of her. I spanked the dead center of her ass until she screamed in outrage.

Throughout it all, Kianna kept fighting me. She wiggled on my lap and grinded against my poor cock. Her hair came loose from her bun and the long black hair whipped around me as she shook her head. She kicked her legs but I never stopped spanking her ass.

“Bastard! Fucker! Asshole! Degenerate! Criminal! Molester!” Kianna screamed. She found new insults with every slap of her ass.

I stopped spanking her and moved my finger to her wet sex. Her pussy lips were shaved clean in accordance with Pik Collective dress codes and my fingers slipped right in. Kianna stopped wiggling and froze. A ragged gasp escaped from her lips.

Captain Spikeballs got suspicious. “That sounds like she FUCKING ENJOYS IT!”

“Of course not,” I said. “It was a moan of pure horror.”


Captain Spikeballs laughed. “You’re RIGHT! You are torturing the SHIT OUT OF HER!”

“That’s right,” I said. I slammed my fingers into her wet pussy. Her ass and tit were enormous but Kianna’s pussy was as tight as a singularity. As I stroked her slick sex, her pink ass clenched and squirmed.

“I will see you executed twice for this!” Kianna screamed.

“Wow, that is MUCH angrier than when I cut their toes off,” Captain Spikeballs said.

“It is all about knowing the Pik body,” I said. I pulled my fingers out of Kianna and I swore she shuddered in disappointment. My fingers were sticky and wet and I gave her ass a wet slap. WHAP!

“FUCKER!” Kianna yelled.

I lifted her as I stood up. Kianna winced as her tender ass was forced to move. I put her over the log I had been sitting on facedown so that her ass was on display to everyone. All three crews drew closer to admire the pink glow of her plentiful ass.

“I don’t see the big deal,” Halla, my Cabin Woman said.

“Now WHAT?” Captain Spikeballs said.

My intelligent pants unzipped themselves. I gripped my hard cock with my fingers that were still slick from Kianna’s pussy.

“Now we do the final humiliation,” I said. I gave my cock a few strong strokes.

Normally it would be hard for me to climax in an alien forest with hostile men surrounding me but Kianna’s ass was good inspiration. My hand prints were bright and visible on her plump ass. Her ass quivered in humiliation. The ample curves of her ass begged for another slap or a bite or even just to lay your face on it.

“Fuck!” I yelled as I climaxed. My cock released a heavy stream that arced through the cool air and landed on her tender ass.

“FUCKING SHIT!” Kianna screamed. Hot semen burned her sensitive ass.

I wasn’t done. My cock kept coming and I kept splattering Kianna’s ass. Seed landed on both of her buttocks. Sticky loads slid into her crack. Arcs of seed splashed her thighs and the bottom of her shirt. It was quite the mess.

“Now do we KILL HER?” Captain Spikeballs said. “And HER CREW?”

Here came the tricky part. “No, killing would bring her torture to an end. It is better to let her live so she will remember this torment for the rest of her life. Let her men live too so they can remember the horror they witnessed.”

Everyone grew silent. Captain Spikeballs narrowed his one good eye at me while his bad eye seeped. A growl grew in his lips. Fuck, I was going to die after all.

“I will take you to Hell MYSELF!” Kianna screamed. My seed dripped slowly from her ass.

Captain Spikeballs let out a loud laugh. “By the Lords of Space! You are a CRUEL BASTARD!”

I laughed and hoped it didn’t sound as nervous as I felt. “That’s me. I’m a cruel bastard.”

“I can do business with you,” Captain Spikeballs said. He passed me a datachip. “I have my prices listed here as well as the coordinates for our next rendezvous. Meet me there in THREE days! Bring another Pik prisoner IF YOU GOT THEM!”

“Will do!” I said.

Captain Spikeballs and his men faded into the woods. My pirates rounded up the Pik soldiers and started tying them up.

I sat down next to Kianna. “You can put your pants back on, Captain Gan. I’ll contact your ship once I leave orbit and let them know where you are.”

Kianna tried to stand and winced. Her ass was on fire and my hot seed hadn’t cooled it at all.

“I will report this new atrocity to my superiors!” Kianna said. “I will hunt you across the galaxy for this degradation!”

I sighed. “You’re welcome,” I said. People are never grateful for saving their lives.

  2 Responses to “Fiction: The Pirate, The Psycho and The Beauty”

  1. Yay! I love Blastpants. And that was a lovely, hot scene too.

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