Explorer’s Log: I am on day four of my seventeen day voyage to the star system designated “Does the Queen Read These” by Royal Astronomers. The Grend are currently at war with the inhabitants of that system. They are called the Kyryk and the Grend described them as quote, “religious ass-hacks with no balls”.
Interestingly enough, the Kyryk have filled the space around their star system with space bases that are heavily armored yet appear to have no weapons. These stations broadcast a signal that the Grend warships have jammed. Although I appreciate the music that the Grend are using as a jamming signal, in particular the song called, “Eat Plasma and Die You Cowardly Shit”, is quite catchy, I am curious as to what exactly the Kyryk are trying to broadcast. Knowing this may aid in the Queen’s Navy conquering them if the Grend failed. End Explorer’s Log.
Explorer’s Personal Log: Other favorite songs include Kyryk Killer, Go to the Light of the Laser, and the somber power ballad, I Killed a Kryrk Now Suck Me.
Vaquel Di stared at the computer monitor. Her pink hair got into her eyes and she brushed it out of the way. Her full lips were frozen in a perpetual pout as she tried to unscramble the Grend jammers. She didn’t know what the Kyryk had to say but at this point, it was pure stubbornness that was driving her quest.
Also, she had just masturbated so what else was she going to do? She hadn’t bothered to get dressed and her sweaty brown skin was starting to stick to the command chair. The wet spot that she had made on the chair had long dried and she had meant to take a shower but fuck, she felt like she was so close to unjamming the signal.
The Grend music suddenly stopped. A new signal was coming through! Vaquel’s pout turned into a smug smirk of success.
“Hello!” a voice announced. One of the ship’s holoprojectors came to life and a shimmering gold humanoid appeared. “Are you ready to accept Kloria as your personal savior and life advisor?”
“Who are you?” Vaquel snapped. .
“I am Oi, your personal Missionary and Guide into the wonders of Kloria!” the hologram responded. “I have been beamed into your ship so that I may help you understand how to best adapt to the only true religion in the galaxy”
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Vaquel said. She pressed a button to break the connection. The Grend music started playing again but the hologram was still there.
“Now that I have made a connection with your ship, my program was downloaded into your operating systems,” Oi said. “I will stay with you as you come to accept the Kloria religion.”
“Oh hell no,” Vaquel said. She stood up and felt her skin peel out of the seat. “Euphorians already have a religion, thank you very much.”
Vaquel walked out of the cockpit and toward the computer bay. Oi walked along side with her.
“I have access to everything in your files,” Oi said. “One moment while I access these false god. Re-proselytizing.”
“You do that,” Vaquel said. She went to the computer bay. Unsurprisingly, the controls were locked out.
“I have found your gods,” Oi said. “The Gods of the Underworld wait for Euphorians to die and then reward them based on how well they served the Royal family. That is depressing.”
“And your religion is any happier?” Vaquel said. She opened a toolbox and looked for the right screwdriver to open the computer panel.
“Kloria teaches us all to be happy in this life to prepare us for the endless pleasure of the next life,” Oi said. “For example, Kloria can help you turn your meager time that you spend on your computer into great amounts of wealth!”
“Not interested,” Vaquel said. She put the sonic screwdriver down because the screws were tactile based.
“Re-proselytizing,” Oi said. “Kloria can help you lose thirty kilograms in thirty eating cycles.”
“Not interested,” Vaquel said. She tossed the tactile screwdriver aside because the screws on the panel were pinch-tactile and not twist-tactile.
“Re-proselytizing,” Oi said. “Oh, I see by your records that you explore a lot. Did you know that Kloria has seven techniques that can make you a better explorer? In nine easy prayers and six easy donation installments, Kloria can teach you how to explore like the best!”
“Thanks, but I am already pretty damn good,” Vaquel said. The panel fell off and smacked her in her heavy breasts. Vaquel cursed and took a look inside the circuitry.
“Re-proselytizing,” Oi said. “Re-proselytizing. Oh my. Re-proselytizing. Wow, this is a lot of pornographic imagery. Re-proselytizing.”
“Keep busy,” Vaquel said. She reached for the Reboot Switch but the computer’s personal force field stopped her. She needed to reroute power.
“Re-proselytizing,” Oi said. “I see that you enjoy personal gratification. Did you know that followers of Kloria enjoy the Hymn of Bliss which some worshippers say is better than sex.”
“Ha,” Vaquel said. The power wouldn’t reroute while the Virus Protection Laser was still active. She needed to turn it off without somehow atomizing her fingers.
“It’s true,” Oi said.
“Prove it,” Vaquel said. She reached between some sharp contact points to turn off the targeting array for the Virus Protection Laser.
“Waaaaaaaaaa,” Oi hummed.
Something wonderful happened to Vaquel’s nipples. They began to tingle and then that tingling turned to a warm sensation like being dunked in a hot bath. The awesome sensation was enough for Vaquel to lose her focus and cut herself on a contact point.
“Ahhh-fuck!” Vaquel moaned/yelled.
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnn,” Oi hummed.
The tips of Vaquel’s ears began to tingle. She gasped as every millimeter of her earlobes came alive. The feeling was exhilarating and her pussy was clenching.
“How?” Vaquel managed to moan.
“Unbelievers say that it caused by a universal harmonic that has an aphrodisiac effect on humanoid nervous systems but true believers know that Kloria is touching your special places through the power of faith.”
Vaquel let out a long sigh. It felt nice but it wasn’t worth converting for. It certainly also wasn’t worth losing control of a ship over either. She reached back into the computer and this time she turned off the targeting array.
“Rrrriiiiiiiii,” Oi hummed.
Vaquel’s neck tingled as the hairs there rose up. It felt like someone was planting the lightest of kisses on her neck. She bit her lip as she shuddered.
“Not bad,” Vaquel moaned through clenched teeth. With the targeting laser deactivated, Vaquel was able to get to the power supply of the computer’s force field. She began to slowly pull out all eighty connections.
“Tooooooo,” Oi hummed.
Vaquel’s ass suddenly clenched and unclenched. She cried out and dropped connection number eight. His asshole was quaking in a wonderfully distracting spasm.
“Some worshippers call that one, Kloria’s Kiss,” Oi pointed out. “Some worshippers have been known to chant that one for days.”
“Days and days,” Vaquel moaned. She started pulling out connections faster and faster. The force field went out and Vaquel let out a sigh of relief.
“Yuuuuuuu,” Oi hummed.
Vaquel shook. Her pussy felt like every nerve ending had just come to life. She felt penetrated, licked, fingered and vibrated at the same time.
“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel cried out. She could press the reboot button now but she could barely think. Overwhelming pleasure was emanating from her pussy.
“No, this one is called Kloria’s Blessing,” Oi corrected. “It prepares you for the next two chants.”
“There’s more?” Vaquel groaned. She realized that she was dripping down her thighs. Her pussy was soaked and making a puddle on the ship’s floor. The reboot button seemed very unimportant at the moment.
“Oh yes,” Oi said. “The Worship of Kloria has many pleasures, from the physical to the mental to that special joy you get from binge watching a favorite story. Kloria welcomes all and wants everyone to be happy!”
Vaquel reached down to her pussy. Her hand was shaking so hard that she missed and touched her thigh instead.
“Two more?” Vaquel said again.
“Uiiiiiiiiiii,” Oi hummed.
Vaquel’s back arched. She thought that her pussy had been stimulated before but she wrong. It was only the outer layer of her pussy that had been affected but now the deeper was. She was being fucked with the longest cock in the universe. She felt something similar plunge down her ass. The strange harmonics are drowning her in the sensation of being double penetrated.
Oi kept humming.
Vaquel shuddered. She was on the verge of orgasm. She tried to touch herself but she missed and hit a screwdriver instead. Any sense of direction was being fucked out of her with pure pleasure.
The humming stopped.
“The last one,” Vaquel gasped.
“The last chant will stimulate to the point of the greatest orgasm achievable by your species,” Oi said.
“Say it,” Vaquel moaned. She was lying face down on the floor and didn’t remember getting there.
“The last chant will bring you in perfect alignment with the glory of Kloria,” Oi said.
“Say it!” Vaquel tried to yell. It came out with a squeak.
“I’m sorry, but that is reserved for worshippers of Kloria,” Oi said. “If you want, I can begin inducting you into the worship of Kloria now. I will need you to read some holy texts while I do an audit of your monetary value in order to properly access what level of worship that you qualify for.”
Vaquel felt the tingling sensation on her nipples, ears and neck go away. Her asshole had stopped twitching. Her pussy lips were returning to normal. The feeling of being double penetrated was slipping away.
“You won’t tell me the last chant?” Vaquel said.
“Are you ready to accept Kloria as your personal savior and life guide?” Oi asked.
“This is why I hate religion,” Vaquel said. “They are all fucking cunt teases.”
Vaquel slammed the reboot button. Oi vanished as the lights went out and the ship systems turned off. A moment later, they turned back on, functioning again with factory standard programming.
Vaquel rolled onto her back. She spread her legs and reached again for her sex. This time her fingers were right on target. She plunged into damp pubic hair, past her sensitive lips and deep inside her.
A moan started down her throat. She stroked with both hands until the moan grew louder and stronger. She spread her legs and humped her fingers. Her moan left her lips and filled the tiny corridors of the space ship.
Vaquel climaxed. Her toes curled and her eyes clenched shut. She came without the aid of a god or a missionary. It might not have been as strong as what Kloria would have provided, but it was all hers.