Attention all Von Madd Laboratories employees!
Due to circumstances still under investigation, the SmartBra series of prototypes brassieres has gained sentience! More disturbingly, they appear to have stolen technology from the Hypnotic division! These SmartBras are considered beautiful and dangerous! They have seized control of the people wearing them and are trying to make it to the outside world!
Thirty prototypes are on the loose and if you spot someone wearing a fabulous bra with great support and lovely cleavage do NOT approach them! Do NOT agree to motorboat their breasts! Do NOT agree to their offer to bite their breasts! Do NOT show them the latest technology you are working on! Most of all, do NOT lay your head on their breasts!
If you see someone you suspect is wearing a SmarBra, douse their chest with water! This will short out the circuits in the bra. Whether or not you are able to wet the chest of a suspected person, contact Laboratory Security. They are trained for this and are eager to try out the new Water Cannons designed for this emergency.
If you see someone under the hypnotic control of a SmartBra and they are not wearing a SmartBra, refer to the “How to Deal With a Mind Controlled Drone” section listed in your Von Madd Laboratories Handbook.
Only YOU can stop sentient brassieres from taking over the world!