Jun 202012
 

Look, before we get started, I want to warn you about something.  No, I’m not married.  No, I don’t have an STD.  Can you let me finish?  Christ, stop trying to unzip my pants too.  This is important.

I have a magic cock. 

No, seriously.  I know I said that at the bar but think about it, would a hot lady like you normally go home with a guy that looks like me?  Yeah, I know.  You never have one night stands but tonight is different.  I have heard it before.  This isn’t my first time at this pussy rodeo.

Come on, listen.  I want you to be ready before you touch my cock.  See, it has these powers and women just know on a subconscious level that I am packing magic cock.  That is why you went home with me and that is why you are ripping my pants off.  Oh shit, don’t touch it ye-

Ah hell.  No, go on, keep crying.  You need to get that out.  Trust me, you will feel better after the tears are all out.  You probably are thinking about a bad break up you had years ago, or maybe thinking about someone you never told that you loved?  Am I right?  Yeah, I knew it.

I would like to mention that you haven’t let go of my cock.  You’re crying like a baby but you still have a grip on my cock.  See what I mean?  Magic cock.

No, I don’t mind.  Keep a hold of it.  It feels nice in your hand.  Honestly, if I got turned off by crying, I would never get laid.

What does the magic cock do?  Lady, all sorts of things.  Most women realize they need to leave their boyfriends.  Other women end up getting new jobs or moving to some other city.  One girl I knew started stripping off her clothes and ran naked through the neighborhood.  I have no idea what her deal was.  The girl was seriously repressed.

How did I get a magic cock?  Fuck if I know.  It has always been this way.  My first girlfriend found out she was a lesbian when she touched it.  This cock is crazy shit.

Feeling better?  Not scared?  Okay, that’s good.  Ready for more?  I can roll with that.

Put my cock on your tongue.  No, don’t stick it in your mouth yet.  You got to go slow with the magic cock. 

There we go.  Yep, I can tell by your eyes that you just learned some serious enlightenment right there.  No, don’t speak.  Just let it sit on your tongue

Yeah, you might want to hold it.  My cock gets all excited and won’t sit still.  Keep it pressed to your tongue.  Let whatever revelation come to you.  You got to absorb that shit. 

Don’t worry; I won’t come in your mouth.  Yeah I know everyone says that but trust me, I won’t.  If I come in your mouth, you will pass out from the world shattering wisdom.  You’re smiling but it’s true.  I’ve come in two girls’ mouth and both of them passed out.  I had to take them to the hospital and both were in a coma for a week.  Then get this, after they wake out of their coma, they both started cults.  Both of them talked about the infinite spermy wisdom.  It was really creepy. 

Oh wait, I appreciate you wanting to go down on me but I am really close.  We better slip it into your pussy right away.  Don’t worry; even if I come in the next two minutes, you’ll be happy.

Oh fuck.  Damn, this is a nice pussy.  Tight and wet and everything I need. 

See?  You just came, didn’t you?  Tell you the truth, I have learned to come quick because most women don’t last that long.

No, no, go ahead and tell me what you’re thinking about.  You’re dying to tell me.  I’ll just keep fucking.

You just realized something about your dad?  No, that doesn’t surprise me.  Really. 

Mind if I grab your tit?  Thanks. 

You want to quit your job?  Let me guess, is it because you only took the job because it was available and now it is killing your soul?  Believe me, that is real common.

Mind if I play with your pussy hair a little?  Thanks. 

You just came again?  Crazy isn’t it?

Wow, that is amazing about your sister.  Twenty years of therapy would have never gotten that out, trust me.

Uh, can you stop talking about how your grandmother’s death changed your life?  I am about to come here.

Fuck yes!  Oh, damn I needed that.

Shh, it’s okay.  You just cry.  There is a lot to take in, I know.  You’re a changed woman now.  A year from now, you’ll have a job you love, a boyfriend that is right for you and some real control over your life. 

You’re going to open a restaurant?  That’s nice.  Follow your dream, baby.

You know, I am glad it helped you.  Some day I got to find me a magic pussy because I got all sorts of issues to work out.  Shit, my alcoholic dad really did a number on-

Oh, you need to go?  Hey, you don’t need to make something up, I get it.  You got your life to get started on.  You don’t want to hear about my problems.  I won’t even ask for your number.  I know better.  You have a lot to work through and no time for a relationship. 

Take care.

  3 Responses to “Fiction: Magic Cock”

  1. The soundtrack to this story should be “Detachable Penis” by King Missile.

  2. I feel a need to tell you , that though im no writer or literary critic, just a normal person reading your writing, i LOVE everything i have read from you so far . This made me smile , the first piece i read of yours was CellPhone Slave, read every part in 2 hours , i felt what i was reading, could imagine myself in it, much like this one, i kinda felt like he was talking to me (lol) . Thank You , for taking me away from myself , however briefly … :)

  3. Anonymous – If I remember correctly, that penis was a pain in the ass.

    Sheri – You are very welcome :)

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