Apr 132012
 

For a limited time only, Sheba’s is proud to announce the return of the Sheba Taco! You have heard about it, you have dreamed about and sometimes you thought it was as rare as a drama free threesome, but now it is finally here!

Just imagine: a crunchy corn shell shaped to fit between the thighs of a beautiful woman. Fresh lettuce that was shredded moments before you ordered it. Cheese made from real dairy products*. Real ground meat that came from a cow that grew up on an all cowgirl ranch. ** All of it prepared by a topless Sheba’s employee! ***

Choose from three types of salsa! We have Summer Affair for those who like it hot! We have Passion Fruit for those who like it sweet and running down their chin! We also have Vajayjay, our unique special salsa that you won’t be able to stop eating!

Sheba’s Tacos are available for a limited time only. Customers always say they eat Sheba’s Tacos but no one really believes you until they see you eat one. Studies have shown that men and women who eat Sheba’s Tacos are 70% more likely to satisfy their female sexual partners. ****

* Most of our competitors get their cheese from Russian sex slaves. It is not remotely sexy. Look it up.

** Most of our competitors use sand, pseudo meat and the leftover fingers of Yakuza employees who have dishonored themselves.

*** Log into your local Sheba’s website to watch a livecam of Sheba’s employees as they make your food.

**** Von Madd Culinary/Sexual Correlations Study 2010.

  4 Responses to “Sheba’s Tacos”

  1. Damn. I can almost taste them!

  2. Get them now while they are available!

  3. “A summer Affair for me please!”
    (This made me smile, on my deary rainy Sat morning, many thanks for such a witty piece) <3

    Just a quick note since I couldn’t make sense of this line, thought to bring it to attention:

    Customers always say [until] they eat Sheba’s Tacos no one really believes you until they see you eat one.

    Felt like it was missing a word or so :/

  4. Mystique – Ah, I am missing a “but” there. It should be “Customers always say they eat Sheba’s Tacos but no one really believes you until they see you eat one.”

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