I talked to my oncologist on Thursday and it was a nice long talk. One thing I have noticed is that more specialized a doctor is, the more time he has to chat. Primary Physicians give you less time than the drive thru window at Sonic but the cancer doctor spent an hour talking to me.
He broke it down like this. My nad had a tumor growing in it that hulked it out. The tumor didn’t break through the nad which is good, but there were some cancer cells by the blood vessels that go to the lymph nodes, which is bad.
How bad? It depends. My CT scan didn’t reveal anything but that could mean that the cancer is inside my lymph nodes and not causing any visible signs. That could mean a few thousand cells escaped which could be killed by my body without help. OR it could mean that a few million cells are in there happily multiplying and working their way up to a tumor.
I have two options. I can spend two years doing regular tests to see if the cancer has returned. If it don’t, that’s great. If it does show up, oops, it will be harder to kill because it had time to grow.
The other option is to go through two rounds of chemo, lose some hair, undergo some nausea and other side effects and have a 99% chance of killing anything that escaped.
As a writer I think of loose uncertain ends as guaranteed plot twists later. If I wrote that a character had a small chance of cancer returning, you best beleive the cancer is returning at a very plot dramatic moment. The idea of not pulling the trigger and exterminating all cancer seems foolish. On the other hand, chemo is a hell of a trigger.
I am still waiting back on some blood tests. Funny enough, it is a pregnancy marker. If I had a womb it would mean a bundle of joy but since I am a man it means a bundle of terror. It was pretty high pre-nad removal and was pretty low post-nad removal but it needs to be like zero. When I get the blood results from Thursday, it will give us a better idea of whether I have a little cancer terrorist in me.
Either way I haven’t decided which to do. My brain says go for the chemo but my heart is like, “Hasn’t 2012 sucked enough already?” I am sure I will pick chemo but right now I want a few more results.