Jan 142011
 

The planet of Euphoria has many unique animals and vegetation but by far the most profitable export is a tiny pink pepper the size of a man’s little finger. Called the Boom Pepper, it has a salty taste that connoisseurs say is reminiscent of sweaty cock.

It also has the ability to induce an orgasm in a humanoid species within fifty seconds of being consumed.

Many foods in the galaxy claim to be an aphrodisiac but only the Boom Pepper has been proven to create a climax. It is enjoyed by the elderly as a way of reliving former sexual glories while the young have been known to eat the pepper has a way of experiencing the glow of sex without the messy consequences of sexual experimentation. It is a traditional ingredient added to meals at wedding parties, graduation ceremonies and the funerals of unpopular relatives.

During the reign of King Fong, the Boom Pepper was declared a controlled substance that could only be sold to members of nobility. The peasantry created an underground market of inferior Boom Peppers such as the dangerous subtype known as the Bang Popper. The Bang Popper induced four to six orgasms in those who ate it, but also carried to risk of inducing a stroke. A weaker pepper known as the Blast Chili would induce in an orgasm but only after a teasing five minutes of sensation. It also induced uncontrolled bowel movements.

When Queen Erishella came into power, she declared the Boom Pepper available to everyone. The inferior kinds of Boom Peppers became less popular and are now only used by chefs who specialize in creating poverty cuisine for the rich and famous.

A popular pastime in Euphoria society is to slip a Boom Pepper into the meal of guests, family or unrequited sexual crushes. The sight of people suddenly orgasming at the dinner table has been credited with the creation of a new generation of foodysexuals.

If visiting Euphoria during the harvesting season, be sure to visit the Grand Boom Pepper Cooking Festival held in the royal courtyards. Chefs from around the planet bring their latest recipes to show off their climaxing dishes. Boom Pepper King and Queen titles are rewarded to the man and woman that can eat the most Boom Peppers without stopping. It is a sensual delight for the entire family.

–Euphorian Gazetteer

  2 Responses to “Boom Pepper”

  1. I loved this whole thing. I think it’s my favorite Gazette post yet.

    My favorite part, though, is “The inferior kinds of Boom Peppers became less popular and are now only used by chefs who specialize in creating poverty cuisine for the rich and famous.”

  2. Bridget- Poverty cuisine suggests it’s own specialty restaurants. “Sit on real dirt covered seats while rats nibble your feet!”

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