Mar 142010
 

In BDSM fiction, the most popular story is that of a regular normal person experiencing the journey of self discovery as a submissive. The ‘Coming of Submissive’ is popular for really simple reasons. For vanilla readers, they get to see a transformation usually accompanied by a lot of rationalization. For kinky readers, they get to relive their own transformation through the eyes of a fictional character. The act of anyone becoming a different person is also an easy to understand story arc that almost any writer can pull off.

For ages I had wanted to write a ‘Coming of Dominant’ story. I had written several ‘Coming of Submissive’ stories to the point that they were threatening to bore me. As a dominant I wanted to tell a story closer to my own interests. I stumbled across doing so when I did ‘Volleyball Island Madd-ness’ but that was a comedy. Heck, it was also a female dominant, which is not quite me.

I made a list of the things I wanted to discuss in a ‘Coming of Dominant’ story in an attempt to brainstorm a plot. It seems to be that when people write stories about dominants, they tend to create these flawless egomaniacs who seem to conjure incredible acts of submission out of their submissives. The dominants I knew in real life were a Hell of a lot more insecure. I knew the egomaniac doms and yeah, they are quite gripping, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. I wanted to talk about that dominant insecurity.

The other thing I noticed about dominants was their Jekyll/Hyde natures. Long term submissives often spoke of their dominants as if they were two people. There was the nice guy that they loved and then there was that terrible force of nature that they lusted.

I wrestled with how to address these issues forever. My lucky break came when I read Mark Millar’s ‘Wanted’. The movie was about silly assassins and a sillier magic loom. The comic was much more outlandish. It was about a dork who finds out he is the son of a super villain. Over the course of the series, he is trained by other villains to kill, rape, steal and do as he damn well pleased.

I thought the story was shit the first time I read it. A few months later, I came back to it. I wasn’t sure why. It was an adolescent power trip fantasy but it was growing on me. I ignored the bits I hated and realized what I loved was that it was a ‘Coming of Dick’ story.

Creativity can be hard to explain. Things cemented in my mind over a few weeks. The story in ‘Wanted’ was shit except for one great part- normal dork whom everyone walks over, suddenly becomes different and not in a noble way. I wanted to discuss the dual nature of dominants. I wanted to talk about the twin conflicts of lust and anxiety.

That is how I came up with becoming a werewolf as a metaphor for being a dominant. Things fell into place. There is the character of Dylan, but there is also the beast inside. It is transmitted sexually, but only rarely. Best of all, it doesn’t come with an instruction book. In the real world, kinky people can find groups and books for their questions, but it is my belief that no book or support group can really explain those feelings inside you. They can relate, but can anyone really know the personal beasts inside a dominant? I don’t think so.

I hope you enjoy it.

The Wolf Inside

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine

  4 Responses to “The Wolf Inside”

  1. u are a disgrace to human kind

  2. emo kid- After I saw that typo ‘The Wold Inside’, I felt the same way.

  3. So, recently, the wifey and I went to see the play Venus in Furs. It isn’t a straight adaption. Rather, it’s this meta round about thingy that comes of as a pomo American BDSM take on Audition. And I mean that as a complement. We loved it.

    I bring this up because we were both wondering: Is being dominant or submissive like being straight or gay, insomuch as it isn’t something learned or chosen but rather an essential component of one’s undeniable identity?

    I bring this up because the aspect of “becoming” in the theme here suggests that dominants and submissives are made, not born. You must become one. Furthermore, there’s the fluid aspect you mention of D and S switching.

    But the werewolf metaphor suggests a fundamental state of being. Though you become a werewolf, the “wolf inside” concept (and it isn’t just you, its a widely appreciated trope) suggests that the wolfish nature is deeper than the surface. The human is just a mask that hides the wolf when it isn’t dominant.

    Anywho, I was curious to hear from you. What say you: D and S, is it a learned taste one acquires or a essential aspect of one’s identity one discovers? Both? Neither?

  4. Hey CRwM- I am a believer in the essential component of identity category. I have childhood memories that are a bit embarrassing in how pre-sexual dominant they are.

    The funny thing about dom and sub is I see a lot of people switch over their lives. I’ve seen doms realize they prefer to be subs and vice versa. I think people crave order, they just aren’t always sure of which side of the order they want to be on.

    I think that is why ‘Becoming of’ stories are so popular. Just being kinky is a very confusing situation as we are bombarded with philosophies of how or what we should be. I think the process is less ‘becoming’ and more like realizing.

    Which I think is why I like the idea of compartmentalizing the feelings into something separate from the person. Being kinky is being in a state of constant self discovery.

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