Last May I came up with an idea for a novella length Librarian story. I wanted to do a mystery where Claire and Mr. Dillon had to recover a stolen book. Mostly I wanted Claire to have sex with a long list of suspects. Good times for everyone!
On chapter six of my twelve chapter story, I fell out of love with what I was writing. I liked the mystery, I liked the suspects and I liked the sex, but I didn’t like what Claire was going through. Mr. Dillon held her responsible for losing the book and she spends the entire book working by herself to save her own ass.
Which actually is fine for 90% of stories featuring a submissive. Fear is a great motivator and having a dom character threaten holy hell for failure is pretty standard. As I sat down to write chapter seven however, I realized I don’t like 90% of stories I read with submissives.
See, my original premise for the Librarians back when I first wrote them was that they would be partners. Sure, one was the dom and the other was the sub but I liked the idea that they worked together to accomplish what they needed. In most BDSM stories, the dom is the antagonist who creates and sets challenges for the submissive to overcome.
This idea came about because of my personal life. I discovered that most of my submissives expected me to entertain them. They wanted the writer in me to create elaborate sexual adventures for them when what I really wanted out of a submissive was someone just did what I fucking told them to do. Maybe that makes me a bad dom but it got me thinking about BDSM fiction. It made me realize that if I wanted submissives to have different expectations, I had to write about a relationship closer to what I personally preferred. What I actually preferred was the idea of a dom and a submissive having adventures together.
So last May I understood what i had to do to fix the story. I had to go back and rewrite Mr. Dillon. Instead of a furious nag who punishes Claire in addition to the stress she is already under, I make him fucking helpful instead. I needed to add some collaboration between the two characters which quite frankly since it is a mystery I should have had that to begin with. Writing wise it is not that much work except for the fact that I am changing the entire tone of a story half way written.
It is hard for me to switch gears in a story I am working on. I decided to take a little break back in July and write this crazy Choose Your Own Porn idea I had. My estimate was that the crazy idea would only take me two months to write. Along the way I got the idea for a zombie blog and now here I am in February, almost seven months later, revisiting the Librarians story.
In the long run I think it has all been for the best. I reread what I wrote over the weekend and I am pretty excited. I did the rewriting I needed to and I think I have a very lovely story. I just need to finish the rest of it which I am hoping I can do this month. Sure it took seven months for me to relove the story but hey, writers are neurotic messes.
This lovely sketch of Claire was drawn by Arie Monroe.