Mahu readers! This is the Island Princess! ‘Mahu’ is what people say instead of ‘Hello’ on my island. The translation is complicated but it spells out to “Greetings person, how will we work together to make the Island Princess happy today?”
That horrible person Shon Richards asked me to make a post for him today. He says he has a lot of work to do but I suspect he just wants to masturbate while watching me type. I get that ALL the time! You have no idea how many naughty people masturbate while I am doing innocent things like walking, swimming, bathing and shaking my tits. It is disgraceful!
Since I have this moment to talk to you filthy foreigners, I wanted to ask you a question. Why doesn’t Shon write more about me? I am the most beautiful Princess the Island has ever seen! I have royal breasts, luscious black hair, my skin is baked brown by the sun and my ass never quits. You would think Shon would write about me all the time. He writes more about that wicked witch Erishella and that isn’t fair! I came first!
What is with Shon and royal characters anyway? Why write about a Queen when you have a Princess to write about?
I want everyone to petition Shon to write more Island Princess stories. I deserve a Christmas story! If I don’t get a Christmas story, then I will throw a tantrum! I will stop wearing the really short grass skirt and you know what? No more topless sunbathing. You heard me! You’ll have to masturbate to some ugly woman who isn’t a Princess. We’ll see how much of that you can take!
I also would like to take this moment to make fun of the readers in America who do not have universal health care. I live on an Island in the middle of nowhere and wear a grass skirt, and even we have universal health care. Get with the times people!
Portrait by George Sportelli, who didn’t masturbate when he did this but I bet he wanted to.