“Step right up!” the slick man from out East yelled. “Today you will see a modern marvel the likes that have never seen before in the year of our lord, 1866! Made from good American Steel and designed by finest minds in New York City, and transported all the way to here, Deadbrush, Texas, this amazing contraption is the cure for all good men and their not so good wives. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Steam Powered Wife Spanker!”
He pulled a cloth down and the crowd gasped at the sight before them. It was seven feet tall and shaped like a giant man. The steel caught the Texas sun and dazzled us like a jewel. It had a boiler on its back for the water but what really impressed us was the paddle it carried. The paddle was six feet long and a foot wide. It was one mean looking paddle.
“Now gentlemen I want you to know that I know what it is like,” the slick salesman continued. “You provide a good home for your wives, complete with a stove and a basket full of your clothes to clean. You feed them and let them go out to church every Sunday. You look over them and keep them away from any whiskey yet still these wives act up. They start getting ideas like wanting the vote! Or maybe they want something really crazy like their own money!”
The crowd laughed. Mostly male voices.
“So sometimes you have to bring your wife to heel,” the slick man said. “You got to smack her a little and put her in her place. Well after a hard day of working and drinking, who has time for that? That is why my company designed the Steam Powered Wife Spanker! With just three buckets of water and one log of wood, the Steam Powered Wife Spanker will give your misbehaving wife the loving correction she needs! The Steam Powered Wife Spanker is one hundred percent guaranteed to tame your wife and teach her the errors of her ways!”
“Oh yeah?” a female voice yelled out.
It was Texanah. She was a wild woman to say the least. No one knew where she came from. She rode into town one day and took up drinking at the Crown Saloon. Rumor had it that she would fuck a man if she liked the way he packed his guns, and not take any money for it! She earned all of her money playing cards, always placing her opening bet with her shirt.
“Well Miss,” the fast talking Easterner said. “I can tell you are a bad sort of woman. You’re wearing jeans, which I didn’t think was humanly possible for a woman to wear. Your shirt is torn open so that I can see both of your buffaloes and your blonde hair is way longer than any decent woman would let it be. The Steam Powered Wife Spanker can teach even a harlot like you a thing or two!”
Texanah spit on the ground. “Want to make a bet out of it?”
The salesman nodded and raised his hands. “If you can take what the Steam Powered Wife Spanker teaches you, then I will give you one hundred dollars out of my own pocket. If you cry out for mercy and we stop the Steam Powered Wife Spanker, then you must promise to wear a dress and live a life of propriety forevermore!”
“Cocksucker, you are on!” Texanah said.
The crowd got excited. They loved a good bet but ever since Texanah had showed up, the womenfolk had been acting uppity. Some of the whores had been getting ideas and asking for more respect. Some of the wives had been asking why they couldn’t wear jeans too. Even the schoolteacher had asked to get paid for teaching. It was getting to be shameful.
They brought a sawhorse to the Steam Powered Wife Spanker and Texanah allowed herself to be tied to it. They strapped her down with rope around her wrists and ankles so she couldn’t dodge the paddle. The Sheriff stood by with a knife, ready to cut her loose as soon as she yelled for mercy.
I have to say, Texanah sure did look good. Bent over with her ass up in the air, I started to get some unhealthy ideas. Her massive chest straddled both side of the sawhorse just as tightly as her legs did. If I had one of those fancy cameras, I would have asked the crowd to wait ten minutes while I took a picture.
When everything was ready, the cityslicker pulled a handle on the Steam Powered Wife Spanker. A loud whistle screamed out of the metal man and the paddle arm pulled back. The crowd was silent as the arm went back, back and further back before finally swinging down like a snap of the bullwhip.
WHACK! The paddle slammed into Texanah’s ass. Her hat went flying off and no one knows if it ever came back down again.
“Is that all you got?” Texanah yelled.
Almost as if the Steam Powered Wife Spanker heard her, it swung again. After the first slow blow, the other swings were fast. Whack, whack, whack the paddle struck her bottom and the sound of metal on jean covered ass echoed through the town. The force of the blows made Texanah’s entire body shake and her hair was a flying everywhere but still the bad girl wouldn’t give up.
“Shit, I’ve been hit harder by mattress springs!” Texanah yelled.
The slick salesman made an ugly face and fiddled with a dial on Steam Powered Wife Spanker. The paddle came down faster and harder as the whistled screamed louder. The paddle was a blur as it smacked into Texanah’s butt.
The crowd started to murmur and I pushed my way through to see what the commotion was about. It was Texanah’s jeans. The paddle was hitting her so hard; it was shredding the touch denim on her backside! Blow by blow, we saw more of Texanah’s curvy bottom.
Whoo-ee, and what a bottom! She had a nice round ass but it was so firm from all the riding she did. Every time the paddle hit her ass, the force would ripple across her skin like rainwater in a bucket. Her bottom was the color of a red apple and getting darker with every paddle swing.
As for Texanah, I could tell it was starting to hurt the girl. She was gritting her teeth and her eyes were clenching awfully tight. Her blonde hair flew around her face with every walloping slap to her ass. The dirty gal had some spirit in her, I tell you.
“Fuck, when is it supposed to start hurting?” she yelled.
The crowd laughed. The crowd had no love for Texanah but they always liked to see a Texan give shit to an Easterner. The salesman was getting pissed at her wise ass remarks. He dumped another bucket of water into the Steam Powered Wife Spanker, turned a few dials and pulled down hard on a lever.
The machine screamed with new whistles and the paddle was flying faster than a locomotive running from Indians. The paddle swings made so much wind that the men had to hold onto their hats and the women had to hold down their skirts. It was a storm of paddling the like we had never seen before and never will again.
“Yee-haw!” Texanah yelled. The wicked woman was actually laughing as the paddle punished her bottom. She struggled against the ropes and I thought she was trying to escape, but I was wrong. Texanah was lifting her ass into the paddle! She had a big smile on her face and a dreamy look in her eyes.
The harlot liked it.
A popping sound came from the Steam Powered Wife Spanker. The head started wobbling and one of its legs was vibrating. Water was coming out its arm and the paddle was shaking with each swing. The crowd backed up as the salesman worked at the dials and levers. Shrieks of steams came jetting out from all over the machine. A rivet flew out and nearly took my eye.
“It’s going a blow!” someone yelled.
“I know. I’m so close!” Texanah yelled.
I still don’t know what she meant by that. The Steam Powered Wife Spanker exploded at that point, sending hot water and steaming metal in all directions. The crowd dived for cover and luckily no one got hurt. The salesman got blown through the general store and he paid a lot of money to fix their window.
Texanah only got hit by the paddle. It blew off in mid swing and slammed right into her bottom. It put a big smile on her face and she was moaning as we untied her ropes. Women can be weird sometimes.
“I’ll take that hundred dollars now,” she said. The salesman was unconscious but she had no problem fishing it out of his pockets. Well, she had a little problem walking because her ass was so red and tender. We tried to get her to put on new pants but she refused. Her jeans had two big gaping holes that showed her beautiful ass.
That’s how assless chaps were invented by the way.
“I like the feel of the wind on my ass,” she said. That was the last thing she said as she walked her horse out of town. I guess she was tired of us. Her work here was done. After the failure of the Steam Powered Wife Spanker, no one in Deadbrush tried to tame their wives with a good spanking anymore. In ten years time, we had women on the town council and they were teaching sex education in the bars to cowboys. We were never the same again.