Jun 232008
 

I can see the end of my long summer story. What I mean by that is that I am so close to the last chapter that I am constantly thinking about how the plot ties up at the end even when writing a scene about a footjob. Oh shit, sorry about the lack of spoiler warning. Anyhoo, I am pretty excited about this as it would be nice to finish this thing before summer itself actually ends.

Dungeon Runners is a free online dungeon crawling game that spends a lot of time making fun of other games that send you on an endless series of quests. It has me seriously considering writing some fantasy porn parodies myself but so far I am restraining. Well to be honest, I’m sketching ideas now but I am resisting the urge to follow through. I have my character’s name though: Nighthammer. Doesn’t that just sound like the name of a porn character in a fantasy world?

I read an interview somewhere about a woman who ran a porn site for geeks. The few preview pictures I saw were pretty laughable. There were naked chicks holding a game controller, naked chicks holding a game rulebook, naked chicks looking at a boardgame, etc. I was curious if they split their girls up by interest.

Meet Sheila, she’s our resident role-playing geek girl who only plays ‘Dungeons and Dragons’. She likes D20’s, guys who map and she will never sleep with a guy who plays ‘Vampire’ because she had a bad experience with a Toreador once. Her stats are 36-34-36 Level 18 Ranger.

This past weekend, my girlfriend and I played ‘Arkham Horror.’ She played the lovely Jenny Barnes who as you can tell from the picture above, weilds four 38’s. This board game took us five and a half hours to play which is why we only play it on Saturdays. What is great about this game is that it is cooperative among the players. Everyone works together against the Great Old One. The down side is that the rules are slightly more complicated than Chinese Algebra. Back in my youth, I used to play games like this all the time with my sweaty male friends. Now I am wondering how the fuck I ever played a game for that long without my girlfriend’s cleavage to look at. I have to say, screw romantic getaways. Nothing bonds a couple faster than the elation of defeating a Great Old One when the Doom Track came withing 2 more tokens of umm, doom.

Lastly, I bought a Pam Grier box set which was lovingly titled, ‘Fox in a Box’. What really saddens me about Pam Grier is that we have these kick ass movies about a smart, strong female who gets naked, cracks jokes, kills mother fuckers and somehow stays classy during the whole movie; yet they were made in the 70’s and we have been shit out of luck for anything else like it ever since. Some female stars capture the kick ass part, and some female stars capture the classy, but how many of those women will get naked so we can have a chase scene that starts in the shower? I feel sometimes that Pam Grier opened a door that no one else followed.

  2 Responses to “Random Geek Porn Thoughts”

  1. I’m glad I’m not the only sex-nerd in the world. I spent the night watching Battlestar Galactica and serenity though, Although in a techno-hilariously, one of my clients asked me to say ‘woot’ after he orgasmed. It was always so hard not to laugh.

  2. In another universe I would be be writing endless fan fiction about Saul Tigh’s sexual conquest of the cylons.

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