Mar 122008

Kate had that look again. Her face was flushed and her eyes were half closed. I could see her hard nipples under that tight red tank top. She licked her lips and bit her bottom lip. Kate was about to fuck one of us up.

“Anthony, your character looks up just in time to see a panel in the ceiling open up. A heavy scythe comes swinging out and aiming for your chest. Roll your reflex save against a difficulty of 20.”

“Fuck!” Anthony said. Steve, Derrick and I laughed. Anthony had the worse dexterity stat out of all of us.

Anthony rolled his twenty sided die. It came up five.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Anthony said.

Kate laughed. We could hear her rolling dice behind her game screen. “Ouch,” she said in mock concern. “You take twelve points of damage.”

“Fuck!” Anthony yelled again. He took of his shirt and threw it to the floor. It joined his pants and shoes. Anthony was down to his underwear and he had less then ten hit points left.

Kate’s little rules made Dungeons and Dragons so much more interesting.

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“Tough luck,” Steve said. The bastard was gloating. His character was pretty healthy. He didn’t have any treasure yet but as soon as one of us died, he could just loot our dead characters’ bodies. Steve was patient.

“Yeah yeah, what’s down the corridor?” asked Derrick. Patience wasn’t one of Derrick’s virtues. He also had a ruby worth five hundred gold pieces that was making it worse. He wanted the rest of us to go ahead and die so he could turn that ruby in for a blowjob from Kate.

Kate licked her lips which I am sure didn’t help Derrick’s ability to control himself. “The corridor opens into a large room lit by flickering torches. You can see another corridor leading out on the opposite side. In the middle of the room are three statues with gems set between their breasts. The statues are of naked women and are easily ten feet tall.”

“Gems?” I said. Here was a chance to catch up with Derrick. “What kind?”

“You can’t tell from the hallway,” Kate said. She brushed her long red hair out of her face. “You want to step in the room and get a closer look?”

“Fuck no,” I said. “Anything lurking on the ceiling?”

“No,” Kate said.

“The floors have any weird tiles that we can see?” asked Steve.

“No,” Kate said.

“Now when you say statues, what kind of material do they look like they are made of?”

Before Kate could answer, Derrick scooped up his dice. “To Hell with this, I walk in and go to the statue with the biggest gem. I have my long sword and my shield ready. If something moves, I slash the shit out of it.

That’s what I love about Derrick. The dumb ass cuts right to the trap.

“I like a man with guts,” Kate said. She bit her bottom lip as she read her notes. “The biggest gem is a nice looking emerald on the center statue. Do you want to pry it out of the statue’s chest?”

“Hell, yeah,” Derrick said. “Emeralds are good for a tit job, right?”

Kat ran a finger down from her neck to her cleavage. “Yes.”

“I pry that emerald out, ready to slice the statue if it comes to life.

“What about you guys? What are you doing?” Kate asked.

“I’m too low on hit points,” Anthony said. “I get my bow ready. I’ve got arrows +2 ready in case they are magical.”

Steve laughed. “They have to be magical. I get my war hammer ready and get about ten feet from them. If they come to life, I want to see them coming.

“What about you, Jim?” Kate asked.

I looked at my character sheet. I was down 15 hit point and lost my shirt with nothing to show for it. If there was a really nasty trap like I thought there was, then the treasure might get destroyed. Even if I was the last player alive, surviving with no treasure just gets you a hand job from Kate. I had to start getting proactive.

“While Derrick is working on that statue, I go ahead and start prying one out of the other statues. What do they have?”

Kate smiled. “The one on the left holds a garnet and the one on the right is a sapphire.”

Hot damn. Did I want ten minutes playing with her tits or did I want a lapdance? I took another look at her tight tank top and decided I want to suck on those tits.

“I’ll get the garnet. But I am being really careful. I’m trying to take it out gently and I am not touching the statue at all.”

“All right,” Kate said. “Smart move, Jim. The garnet almost falls out and into your hand, as if your respect for the statue has caused it to give up its treasure. As for you, Derrick, as soon as you start grunting and pulling at the emerald, the statue comes to life. Every one needs to roll for initiative.”

The table rumbled with our dice rolls.

“I have a 17,” Steve said.

“With my feat bonuses, I have a 24, bitches,” Anthony said.

“19”, I said.

All Derrick said was “Shit.” He had rolled a 1.

Kate took control of the game. She was all business when combat broke out. My cock pulsed as soon as I heard the steel in her voice.

“Anthony, you’re first.”

“Is only Derrick’s statue alive?” he asked.


“Well I do nothing then,” Anthony said. “I would take a shot with my bow but I might hit Derrick.”

“Take the shot, asshole!” Derrick said. “I need all the help I can get.”

“Fuck you,” Anthony said. “It’s not worth getting disqualified.”

I had to laugh. Derrick insisted on the rule forbidding players from killing each other since the massacre at Dwarf Hill. We had backstabbed each other so much that all of us got wiped out by the ghosts in the final burial chamber. Ever since then, we made hitting each other punishable by disqualification. There is nothing like losing your shot at sex to keep an adventurer group in line.

Of course, that rule said nothing about just letting a party member die.

“Jim, it’s your turn,” Kate said.

“If the statue is not attacking me, I walk carefully to the statue with the sapphire and very gently get the gem out like I did last time.”

“You guys are a bunch of cock suckers,” Derrick said.

“You do the same thing and easily get the sapphire,” Kate said. “The statue in front of Derrick goes now. It swings its arm in a powerful arc right at you, Derrick. It hits an armor class of 19.”

“That nails me, “ Derrick said.

Kate rolled another die. “The statue hits you for 16 points of crushing damage.”

“Christ,” Derrick said. He took off his pants and his socks and added them to the pile. He was down to his underwear.

Kate’s face was flushing. Combat and stripping always got her hot. “What do you do, Steve?”

Steve sighed. “Since Jim already got the other gem, I’ll help Derrick out. I engage and attack with my war hammer. I hit an armor class of 9.”

“Not enough. It’s your go, Derrick.”

“Just run, man,” Anthony said. “You might survive the free hit.”

Derrick shook his head and pointed at Kate’s buxom chest. “And let Steve claim the emerald? I don’t think so.”

Rule #4- you kill it, you loot it. It was another one of Kate’s rules. If two or more people kill something, than we roll dice to determine who gets to claim the treasure. Steve once suggested that we share the treasure and have sort of an orgy victory party after every game. Kate has a low opinion of that. She said she only fucked winners.

The funny thing is that Derrick had a blow job owed to him for his ruby but he was going to risk it all for a tit job. This game makes people do crazy things.

“I attack,” Derrick said. “I hit an armor class of 17.”

“That’s a hit,” Kate said. “Roll for damage.”

“7 plus three, add my feat bonus is umm, 12.”

“Nice job,” Kate said. “You chopped the head right off.”

“Yes!” Derrick said.

“Don’t forget I helped!” Steve threw in.

“Don’t celebrate yet,” Kate said. “A cloud of green gas sprays out of the broken statue, filling the area. Steve and Derrick, make fortitude saves against a difficulty of 25. Jim, you’re just out of the blast radius.”

They frantically rolled their dice.

“Shit,” Steve and Derrick said together. Both of them had failed. I saw Anthony clench his fist in excitement.

It’s funny. I remember when we used to play before Kate joined us. We played as a team, taking down dungeon after dungeon like an all star army. Now we celebrate each other’s demise and fight like starving dogs to claim our prize. There are days when I almost miss the way we used to play but then I think of Kate. I think of her tits around my cock. I think of the sounds she makes when I slip inside her. I think of the one time I found a diamond and that that let me slip inside her tight ass. Christ, the way we used to play was fun but this, this was thrilling. My heart was pounding and my cock gets hard every time I get past another trap.

“Tough luck guys,” Kate said. “You each take 18 points of damage from inhaling the cursed gas.”

“Damn,” Derrick said. “I’m dead.” He stood up and took off his underwear. Despite the fact that we had seen each other’s cocks plenty of times in the last couple of months, we all found some excuse to look away. Kate didn’t though. She blew his hard cock a kiss. I think she liked eliminating us as much as she did fucking us.

“Well shit. Are there any other effects from the gas?” Steve asked.

“How long are you going to wait to find out?” Kate said.

“Fuck that, let’s keep moving,” Steve said.

“You sure?” I said. “We could wait and see what nasty thing happens to you next.”

Steve laughed. “If I am living on borrowed time, I want to keep moving. Maybe you assholes will die before I die of poison.”

“First things first,” Anthony said. “What about the ruby Derrick was carrying?”

“Oh, it’s in his backpack,” Kate said. “The backpack covered in poison dust. Maybe the poison has lost its potency. Want to risk it and dig the ruby out?

Anthony, Steve and I looked at each other. Derrick laughed. We thought about saving throws, medieval methods of handling poisonous matter and how deep Kate can get a cock down her throat.

As for Kate, she sat back and stayed quiet. Our Dungeon Mistress loved to see how far we would go for more of her treasures.

  15 Responses to “Fiction: Dungeon Mistress”

  1. This was fun to read, fun to think about, and fun to imagine that there might somewhere be a DM like Kate. And I think it was all the better for NOT explicitly showing any of the players actually engaged in sex with Kate.

    More like this, plz. :)

  2. Girl gamers rock. That’s it.

    *off to find a DM like Katie*

  3. Wow… That’s a great game you have going on in your head….

  4. listener42- I know I found it fun to think about, I wasn’t sure if any one else would. I thought the dungeon crawling was the sex :)

    Musns- I almost made it a guy DM and girl players but then I thought the idea of guys stripping for traps was much easier.

  5. janelle- I almost want to make the treasure/sex chart

  6. Correction- Guys stripping for traps would be FUNNIER, not easier.

  7. That is an evil, evil game. And probably the type of game where you keep coming back, over and over again despite being constantly killed, slaughtered, and beaten.

    Though, my respect went down when she only fucked one at a time. Sorry, when I run a game (Exalted lately), and they manage to pull one past me, the rush is enough to make me want to fuck my players.

  8. t’sade- DMs are so unfair to players. I debated a group win victory condition but after reading so many articles about the kind of merciless games Gary Gygax used to run, I liked the idea of a single winner condition.

    And yeah, it was the only game I could imagine where I would be happy to come back to a killer DM.

  9. There has to be something. And the sex would have to be mind-blowing great for me, mainly because I hate killer DM’s. I want everyone to win, like a great big orgy of winning.

    Wait, that would explain why my Shadowrun games always ended in orgies. Half the players were sleeping with the other half and most of the characters were sleeping with each other. :)

    I’m not a zero-sum type of player, but still enjoyable to read about them.

  10. Great story! I am ashamed to say I spend too much time thinking “Well, he could fight defensively. Would aid another count as sabotage?”

  11. she blushes, and shyly turns away.

    “i’ve never played dungeons and dragons” she whispers.

  12. oatmeal girl:

    Nothing wrong with never playing D&D. I just grew up in a gaming house. My first DM was my mother at the tender age of seven and I was playing monthly until well after high school when I moved away. There, I got into gaming with some friends, then ended up running various things. Though, in my case, my group was mostly female and we ran a rather raunchy game since about two-thirds of the group was lesbian or bisexual.

    A good gaming group is like a good set of friends. Yeah, sometimes you get the doms of killer DM’s, like this lovely lady, and sometimes you get the slut DM’s (like me!).

  13. Anon- Hmmm, I think it depends on who he was aiding :)

    Oatmeal girl- And doesn’t it just make you want to play?

    You know, this kind of game might be fun to try at a BDSM convention.

  14. Man, I have only really played D&D once 15 years ago and the DM totally sucked and I lost interest fast. Too bad the game wasn’t like this story!

  15. I’m with oatmeal on this one, I’ve heard tons of people around me talk about it but have never played it.

    This has stroked my curiousity some, but I wonder if it’s to do with the additional rewards that the lads had to play for, rather than the game itself. ;)

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