Mar 152008
 

The best part about my divorce hearting was that the woman handling my case had the same last name as eternal crush subject, Pam Grier. Oh, the fact that I am now actually divorced.

The process was unnecessarily complicated and grumpy from the less than fine court staff I had to deal with. It had a strange effect of calming me down. The ruder people were, the more I realized that these court people weren’t judgmental avatars of law, They were the self centered low empathy people that cut you off in traffic and can’t figure out why no one invites them to the cool parties.

So I got this shiny piece of paper that says I am divorced. Instead of excited I just wanted to take a 12 hour long nap. Wow. It’s like having a term paper that was due forever and I finally finished the sucker. I don’t have any feelings about the divorce itself. I just have this tremendous sense of relief that the paperwork, legal reading and court processes is over. Maybe I am in shock but I am just glad to have this weight off my shoulders.

I should write something.

  4 Responses to “Divorced Past Tense”

  1. *hugs* It seems to have gone smoothly, even with grumpy court people. *hugs*

  2. Congratulations.

    Not on the divorce, of course, but merely in the fact that it has reached an end. Events (ordeals) such as these should be celebrated when they are over with. And for that reason alone.

    I’d buy you a beer.

    .6

  3. it’s such an odd contrast: the unfeeling, somewhat incompetent bureaucracy, drone workers focused on papers and process and computer screens, against the very human mixed emotions of divorce.

    the important thing is that the formalities are over with. the effects will linger for quite a while, popping up every so often and hijacking your days for a bit. but that’s normal, and eventually it will all seem like another life, way off in the past.

    i’m big on ritual myself, and if that works for you i’d suggest some sort of ritual to mark the end in a more meaningful way. you’d be amazed at the cleansing and healing power of something as simple as, perhaps, writing the names of you and your wife as a couple on a piece of paper (i.e. Shon and X) and then ripping it up and burning it to mark the legal end. ONLY IF that kind of thing works for you. the philosopher has devised a number of such rituals for me and i found them to be deeply moving and very effective. they would be very emotional experiences, but they worked every time.

    writing a story could be good, too.

    in any case, many hugs, and a toast and a tear. or tea and toast. whatever does it for you…

  4. It was one of those days today and I found myself wondering how you were… Clearly it’s been a while since I’ve visited. The end seems a relief and I’m glad that now you can rest from it all.

    Your friends are thinking about you – even the ones who visit your cyberhome less often than they should. Take care *hug*

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