Jan 102008
 

So I am sitting here this morning working when I see a flash of light coming from the wall outlet. The smell of ozone hit me and I knew that this was some deep shit. I shut everything down and called a friend so that they could be on the line to call 911 when I got electrocuted.

I wanted to call my wife. Isn’t that fucked up? She has the computer degree. She’s the one I turn to in all disasters computer related. I didn’t though. I don’t think she would have minded, but I had to deal with this myself, you know?

So after everything was turned off, I needed to turn off the switches on the power strips. I REALLY didn’t want to stick my fingers near there. Sara suggested something wooden but my new kitchen is all metal utensils. That is when I remembered my toybox. I have wooden spoons for spanking. Aha! Wooden Spanking spoon to the rescue.

After turning off the light switch, I had the scary task of unplugging the outlets from the wall. I don’t know if this is even necessary or safe, because I am not asking the ex, remember? This is just my own basic caveman knowledge of the magic we call electricity. The problem is that after working a car factory, I am really afraid of electricity. I have seen the videos of electric deaths. I want to unplug the cords, but I can’t bring myself to touch them and pull them out of the outlet.

BDSM toybox to the rescue again. I have a 20$ oven mitt made of space age materials that does a wonderful thud sensation in spanking. I use it on women who can’t take much pain, because it lets me swing full force and they get a nice pleasant thud. I am not sure how electric resistant it is, but it’s a big ass glove and that makes me feel better.

Seeing how I am online posting this, you can assume I did not die. I have moved all the plugs to other outlets and for the time things appear to be working. I didn’t have to call my ex and have her calm my hysterical ass down. Most importantly, I am not dead and I am thanking my box full of non-conductive sex toys for that.

  5 Responses to “When Being A Pervert Helps”

  1. I am seriously interested in your big oven “spanking” mitt (totally made me laugh).

    I’m glad to see that having a collection of BDSM toys means safety in all venues of life and that you’re still around!

  2. *LOL*

    Usually one sees posts on how general household items, or craft items, etc., are found to have other uses and then end up *in* the toybox- not the other way around!

    I’m glad you’re alive to tell about it.

    ~Millie

  3. Musns- I should really dedicate a post to talking about that glove. I think I have spanked only one person with it that didn’t like it.

    Jaenelle- I know, what do you call something that you un-pervert?

  4. I love the way you write, even just for a normal mention of something you had to deal with, it still made me laugh, lol.
    And hurray!
    Now you can say “BDSM saved my life!”
    I can see the headlines now, hee hee.

    Well seeing as you’re still here and made it through ok, I say you owe yourself a pat on the back ^^

  5. So glad you’re not dead! See what a little sadistic ingenuity can achieve?!

    I’m also interested in that oven mitt. While I do love the sting of a strong, hard spanking, sometimes (I think when it’s close to or at the time of my cycle) it’s just too much. I’ll keep that in mind.

    You’re a wealth of information, Shon. So glad you’re not dead. :)

    Eve

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