What makes good porn is the act of interesting people having interesting sex. You can have one without the other, but the thing you do have has to be SO interesting that it outweighs the lack of the other. The reason I stop reading most ‘real sex’ blogs is that they tell me nothing about the people involved so they are reduced down to stereotypes. There’s the boyfriend, the cheating wife, college kid, or some other bland characterization that creates a weird sense of deja vu in myself in that I think I am seeing these characters again. Even in a blog about real people, the lack of depth to the people they write about makes me think that I am reading about the same sorta-kinky college boyfriend who’s also fucking girls in six other blogs. I start speculating about this mystery Romeo who has all these girls smitten over him, before I have to remind myself that it’s not the same guy, it’s the same lack of interest in fleshing him out. In a way I think the sex bloggers are less interested in the guy and telling us why they adore him as much as they just want to assure us that they too have sex.
The sex blogger quest for anonymity has created a large cast of faceless men and women who seem to have an awful lot in common. Some days I am fascinated by these shared qualities and what it says about us as sexual beings but most other days I just consider it bad writing. Sex bloggers who tell us about their real sex lives need to tell us about why they adore the people they are fucking so that we can adore them too.
Along a similar vein, one of the things I hate when I am reading a ‘real’ sex blog is when they use commercial copyrighted images on their blogs to throw in some nude porn. Maybe I am too knowledgeable about porn but few things take me out of immersion faster than when I am reading about a kinky event that allegedly happened last weekend, and I have a picture of Erica Campbell staring at me. Don’t get me wrong, I love Erica, but somehow I don’t think she is a close personal friend of the blogger. Images from professional porn inject the same sense of professional porn artificialness to a so called real life sex blog. I feel less like I am reading someone’s personal account and more like I am reading porn filler for a magazine. Use your own images, or if you use other people’s property, talk about why you like them so much. Make them the conversation.
The blogs that do hold my attention do so because they create the illusion of sharing. They make me feel like I am reading about a real sexual being. They have flaws and strengths. They fall for certain types because of experiences they have shared with their readers. We the readers feel informed enough to give advice because we feel like we know the blogger better than the blogger knows themselves. That’s not an easy feat and I appreciate every writer who has that talent.