When I first started the blog I intended it to be a place where I wrote, or I listed the reason why I wasn’t writing. It was meant to be either be a showcase of my talent or my shame. Lately it has been all shame.
This weekend was nuts as I worked back to back twelve hour days. I am terribly proud of the amount of work I got done but that doesn’t make for good porn. Trust me, not even I can make my job sexy. I lost an entire weekend to work, and as annoyed as I am with my loss of free time, I am far more annoyed at my lack of porn production. I feel cheated. I feel like less of a man.
Which is funny because I actually did get some writing in. I got up early Saturday morning before the rest of the house woke up and did a few more pages for a story I think will be ready Wednesday. I can’t get over the comparisons writing sometimes has to an affair; you get your best work done when no one knows you’re doing it. I did a lot of work on the story but because I didn’t finish it, I feel like what I accomplished was very little.
Maybe it also bothers me because I had to turn down two potential dates just for sheer lack of time. Last week I had a friend unexpectedly drop into town because of a layover, and instead of spending any time with her I had to decline because damn it, this mid-month reports don’t write themselves. I can’t remember the last time I spanked someone, much less took pictures of them. Oh wait, yes I do. It was during a lunch break, on a busy work day. Wow, I had a whole hour!
Work *should* get better after this week but after two months of this high intensity workload, five more days just seems too far away. I am pooped.