Jun 062007
 


My friend Sara found this for me. It’s nice to have friends that look at an outdated sex manual and instantly think of you. In the few months that I have had this book, I can’t say it has improved my sex life but it has made a great coffee table book for guests to flip through.

Let me warn you right now that these images are a little on the big side, so go ahead and click them in order to recieve your maximum educational value.

Now some people might ridicule the idea of a photographic manual of sexual intercourse. They might laugh at the 1969 publishing date. They may even heckle the idea that you can possibly cram an entire sex course into one volume. My only response is just look at the back cover. L.R. O’Conner has a pipe. That is a man of science right there. You can trust what he has to say.

With that out of the way, let me give you a quote from the very beginning of the book. This lays the foundation for the entire book and dare I say it, the sexuality of our entire culture. This is some serious shit so please pay attention.

“Millie, pillar of her Mormon church, stout mother of four-all grown, married and now far fled from home. We can no longer take much of a look at her husband, Fred. Fred is serving five to fifteen years in the state prison on a conviction for criminal rape.

We do not know all we should about the rape syndrome. There has been very little research. We do know enough to suspect that in Fred’s case a man was slowly, hatefully, agonizingly driven to the extreme. Millie supplied him with four children because it was the accepted church-approved thing, but sex she never gave him, not once in their entire union of some thirty-five years. Probably there was sexual connection in a dozen instances and then the act was the barest possible example of intromission and ejaculation. Fred probably never achieved fulfillment once in the entire period of his marriage- remembering that mere ejaculation is a poor substitute for fulfillment.

Millie destroyed everything she ever touched; marriage, husband, children. She lives now in a veritable heaven of self-pity or pretended illness, of exorcism of the evils of sex, or denunciation of the male monster. Pity the mind of the child who might be exposed to her remonstrations. yes, Millie, pillar of the church, mother of four. Wife? Human being? Monster?”

Dude. Science-guy there has some issues.Obviously the cure for stopping rapists is to provide them with hot wives instead of sexually uneducated ‘monsters’ like Millie. Teach us please pipe-guy!

Before we can get to the educational photographs, we must first take a stop at killing your arousal. Thanks to the Sex Education Wet Blanket Act passed in 1892, every sex manual is required to include these pictures of the equipment you are so fond of.

Grossed out and unable to unclench your thighs? Good, you are now ready for wisdom.

The book moves on to what you really wanted to see- a hot couple looking incredibly bored with having sex with each other.

The book says this is an actual married couple and I believe them. Only married people can look this disinterested in the act of sex. To be fair, my experience as an erotic photographer has taught me that sometimes taking photos of naked people under hot lights isn’t as erotic as you would think but man, they have the chemistry of a frigid religious wife and her rapist husband.

To up the erotic content, sometimes they cram one sexual act after another on two pages. Feel that information ramming into you, relentlessly and passionately. Just sit back and take it.

I’m a little embarrassed to say that I didn’t notice this part till my wife pointed it out to me. They list most pictures of one of two positions. They are either ‘Male Dominant’ or ‘Male Recumbent’. Oh that made me laugh and it made my wife growl. Female Dominant would just not be right you know. As it is, there seems to be a bit of fear when the female is on top.

And the most terrifying image 1969 could offer,

All kidding aside, this is a very meaty book when it comes to sexual education. It touches on sexual techniques for men and women, even briefly discussing BDSM for one paragraph. Looking back on a book this old can be amusing but if there is one thing I respect about the book is that they fucking tried. The author mapped out sex according to his own tastes, presenting a book that he wished he had available when he was first fucking. As chauvinistic, old fashioned and at some points weird as this book is, I have to respect someone who was willing to talk about sex and offer some possibly useful advice. Hell, I respect a guy who wanted to take this many pictures of people screwing.

Imagine if this guy was around today. His blog would rock.

  9 Responses to “The Last Sex Book You’ll Ever Need”

  1. Just, fucking wow.

    …..hopefully if he was still around today, he’d have had his eyes opened just a tad…..

  2. This was pricesless – “… they have the chemistry of a frigid religious wife and her rapist husband.”

    This book is a gem, really. I admire you for keeping it on your coffee table. :)

    Eve

  3. Musns- My money is on No, he wouldn’t change at all :)

    Eve- I love showing this book to my sex educator friend. She couldn’t stop frowning.

  4. This is absolutely priceless.

    Thanks so much for sharing!

  5. Ellis is still around. O’Connor not so much. Ellis is a psychology god of no small proportion lol. He has a bunch of songs and sayings called Musterbations and curses a lot. He’s a hoot.

  6. The first book I ever read on sex, was one my mother had in the attic in boxes (granted the attic was my bedroom too) – it was “Everything you always wanted to know about *sex” explained by David R. Reuben. It is still floating around, it’s copyright 1971. Think it’s better as far as information but yours…yours is a better conversation piece that seems suited to your coffee table.

  7. wordslut- Much like a pipe-wielding doctor, I seek to educate :)

    red velvet- I must know more :)

    Musns- Holy crap Musns, were you a flower in the attic? :)

  8. That was a stitch. Reminded me of the Galleries of Regretable Foods. The tone of voice of your review, plus the pictures that seem so dated now.

  9. I know this is a little late, but I was looking for photos from this book for an art project when I stumbled onto your blog.

    If you haven’t already been pointed in this direction, check out the audio instruction from Pent-R Books “Guide to Sexual Pleasure” posted on the WFMU blog:

    http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2007/11/365-days-314—.html

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