I went to Frolicon yesterday. It’s a kinky geek friendly convention that blew te pants off Midsouthcon in pure fun an information. It also blew the pants off half the attendees which makes it a different kind of fun. This is the first con I have been to with a sex orientation and I have to say, it’s going to make going to an all gamer convention a lot harder to return to.
I’m overloaded at the moment to really comment on Frolicon at the moment except for one personal note. This is going to take a moment so bear with me.
I attended a photoclub seminar which was a lot like I had imagined it in one of my first librarian story. I got to hang around real amateur photographers as well some very friendly models. I quickly discovered that somke models prefer to be the one in charge, shifting between poses that they like; while others got excited when I told them what I would like them to do and they complied. My first thought on the subject was hey, I’m a dom so of course I prefer to be calling the shots.
Later, I walked through the vending area which was loaded with sex toys and kinky gear. They had one small book and art section and I felt pretty disappointed. None of the gear really interested me.
Later I attended a seminar on emotional edge play. That’s when you do your damn best to break someone mentally using their worse fears or traumas. The point of the seminar was you pretty damn well know how to put them back together afterwards. What I found amusing is at one point the speaker asked the audience for personal experiences and I realized I had none. Well, none except the fiction I write. I started reviewing some of my stories and wondering which qualified for the kind of play she was talking about.
I was in the dungeon later watching people play. Most of the play was interesting and I actually knew a lot of the people playing, but I found myself bored. They lacked context. It was just sex and beatings. I daydreamed about who might be swapping tonight, or what their day jobs were.
I took 407 pictures. I saw women as creatures that caught the light. I helped a sexy friend of a friend to her room and all I could think about was how much I loved her skin tones and what sort of pictures would make that skin pop.
Last, I attended a burlesque show that had violent interpretations of the seven deadly sins. I had front row seats and was two feet away from naked flesh. My thoughts? I was rewriting their scenes because some of them were too similar.
So this morning I look back at all that and I realize that I identify much stronger as a writer and a creative pornographer than I do an actual kinky person. Oh I love spanking and I would love to have my own Ms. Currie one day; but I don’t focus myself on the skills that would make me a better dom. I like making porn, whether it’s visual fiction or text fiction. BDSM is a release and certainly a subject that interests me in fiction, but I am wondering how much my own BDSM desires are just an extension of my creative outlet.