There is a coach who will never be in the Hall of Fame. No Gatorade will ever be dumped on him. Here is a coach who lives only for the game and that game is sex. The record books have no place for Coach Pain but that’s okay. His athletes remember him with aching muscles, sore holes and sweat.
Coach Pain believes in hard work, but only if his athletes are doing it. He pushes his athletes, training them constantly to keep them in peak performance. His athletes train in stripping, serving, sucking and fucking. They sweat. They practice. Dropping and giving the coach forty takes on new meaning when you train for this coach. Athletes train, train and train some more till their bodies are finely tuned sex machines. All hours of the night he works them over till they can do any activity no matter how exhausted they are. Oh, and they will be exhausted.
Sit-ups, push-ups, lap dancing, jogging, humping, lunges, balance balls, kneeling, side-stepping, crawling, swallowing, pony racing, cowgirl fucking, reverse cowgirl fucking, doggy style, anal, sixty-nine and handjobs are all part of the training regiment. Coach Pain makes the athletes practice each one until they meet his high standards. While they train he barrages them with verbal encouragement-
“Winners always want the cock!”
“There is no ‘I’ in threesomes!”
“Float like a butterfly, suck like a mosquito!”
He wears a dark blue shirt because blue is the color of a winning ribbon. His shorts hang loosely so an athlete is always one zipper pull away from a quick drill in sucking. A whistle hangs from his neck ready to be blown as he helps his athletes blow better. He wears a cap to block out the sun or the dungeon lights while he watches his athletes perform. Armed with a clipboard listing every statistic imaginable, he keeps his athletes in line. The clipboard can also double as a paddle when he feels an athlete can do better. They can ALWAYS do better.
As for his athletes, the uniforms are simple. Grey shirts, grey shorts, tube socks and sneakers. Kneepads of course. Numbers are written on shirts and shorts because every athlete needs a designation when the orgy is fast and furious. No bras of course, because when a body builds sweat, Coach Pain wants to see those damn nipples.
Coach Pain stays on top of his athletes, preparing them for the next big event while at the same time berating them for their sorry performance at the last. For Coach Pain, there is never an off season and every day is the big game. In a sport with no championships, every night of sex is a Super Bowl. Every penetration is Wimbledon. Every climax a World Series. You don’t win by taking it resting. You win with pure intensity, and few are more intense than Coach Pain.