Do you suffer from a boring night life? Do you work too many hours because you have nothing better to do at home? Have you forgotten what it felt like to have your toes curl? Do you watch reality television?
Erotica™ is an exciting product that can help you now. Using the latest in creative writing techniques, Erotica™ will fill your mind with sensual thoughts and put some pep in your step. Specially designed stories create impulses directly in your libido, stimulating your glands into a reason for living. After a few doses of Erotica™, most users find even mundane tasks like driving and grocery shopping to be sources of smirking amusement.
Ask your doctor today about Erotica™. You know what? Fuck that asshole. Erotica ™ is free, and the doctor is only interested in selling you stuff your insurance won’t cover anyway. Don’t ask anyone. Just download it now for free off the internet like everyone else.
WARNING: In some cases (99%) Erotica™ was found to cause squirming, shortness of breath, increased heart rate, swelling in the crotch and a goofy grin. Do not use Erotica™ if you are underage, or operating heavy machinery. People married to a prude should only use Erotica™ when the spouse isn’t looking. Don’t hide Erotica™ under the bed, that’s the first place everyone looks.