It was a bad day for the crew-sisters of the Angry Cunt. Christ’s balls, it was a bad day for me. This morning a Dutch sloop loaded with pirate hunters and chainshot had killed half the crew and torn the hell out of the sails I spent so many hours keeping pretty. A fire in the galley had taken out our meager supply of ale, and our last good barrel of dried meat was floating off into the horizon. To top it all off, my tits were killing me from where a horny Dutchman had tried to get a last grope when I skewered him with my cutlass. The bastard scratched me up good as he thrashed through his death rattle. I know I shouldn’t fight topless, but damn, with tits like these, most men are too busy staring to fight.
I knew we were hurting like hell, but I was proud of my crew-sisters. As an all-female pirate crew, we often get underestimated. Traders will try to cheat us on the goods we smuggle, and shipwrights often think we are damn ignorant when we come to sell ships. By the Jolly Regina, men learn to respect us when four feet of steel is at their throat. And bloody stupid pirate hunters who thought we would be an easy kill soon learn the error of their estimations while they feed the sharks with their useless male carcasses. Women who take to the sea for a living don’t remain soft for long, and the Angry Cunt has been stalking ships going on eight years now.
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“Jane, we got a problem.”
I sighed and turned in the direction of Anna’s voice. “I know, Anna. The sails are a mess, and the captain is going to want them fixed before nightfall.”
Anna’s pretty face was frowning. “I don’t think Captain Teresa’s going to want much of anything anymore,” she said. “She’s in hell now. Two pistol shots and three knives in the back saw to that.”
“Cock-sucking sons of a thousand fathers!” I spat. “Assholes had to hit the captain from the back because there was no way the bitch would let anyone kill her head on.”
Anna nodded. “But there’s the matter of who’s to be the next captain.”
I snorted. “Fuck that. I don’t need to be captain. I’ll stick to being sail mistress, thank you kindly.”
Anna was about to say something, but I interrupted her. “I don’t care how good you think I’d be at it. Being captain is hard work. Christ’s piss, it’s like being a mother to a hundred daughters. I have a hard enough time dealing with all the shit I have to do now. Let someone stupid enough to want the job have it.”
A cheer went up from the other side of the ship. Considering how much we’d had the shit beat out of us, I wanted to see what the cheering was about. Anna followed me as I made my way aft. I pushed through my crew-sisters to a sight that made me tits shake with rage.
It was that no-good Portuguese daughter-of-a-bitch whore, Camila, and she had already pinned Captain Teresa’s hat onto her head. The bitch was posing for the crew, shaking her long curly black hair in that affected way I hated so much. I noticed she didn’t have a scratch on her body, and I had to wonder if she’d hidden behind her stockier lovers during the fighting again.
Camila had always been a problem. She had that knack for being the best friend of other women. Always knowing just what to say to make others feel bad, but she said it in such a way that it sounded like she was looking out for them. Lazy and greedy, she was the kind of gal you wanted to help strip a body for loot, but she would never be around to kick the man in the jewels to bring him down in the first place. The thought of her being the captain sickened me worse than a plate of rotting fish.
“Fuck no!” I yelled. I am not an articulate woman, and that was the best I could do.
Our crew-sisters looked at us and parted. Two of Camila’s lovers tried to step forward, but good old Nkiru half drew her sword. The African woman might have come here a slave, but she was a huntress in her old lands. Nkiru looked at me and smiled. She turned to the two and hissed. She was as good with words as I was.
“What’s this about, Jane?” Camila said. “You can still be sail mistress. I have no problem with that.”
I shook my head. “You got no problem with that cause you don’t know shit about being captain other than taking first pick of everything. Just because you are willing to eat every woman on board the ship is no reason you should be captain.”
The crew-sisters growled at that comment, but I ignored them. Christ’s bleeding ass, women on board a ship can be a sensitive bunch.
Camila was the most sensitive of them all. “Bitch,” she said.
“Cunt.” I responded.
“Fat cow!” she yelled.
“Spoiled whore who has less sense than a man!” I yelled back.
That was it. “Fuck you, Jane. If you don’t want me to be captain, then fucking challenge me already.”
I looked at Anna. Her damn eyes were just about glowing, she was so eager. I looked at the rest of the crew. Nkiru wanted me to. So did old Elizabeth and one-eyed Kateryn. Some of the crew weren’t so eager, but I think they were more afraid of losing Camila’s favor. Damn, that woman must know how to eat pussy.
“All right, I’m challenging you, Camila, for the right to be captain! Anna, go get our weapons!”
The crew cheered. I started to strip right there. Camila did as well while the crew backed away. I sized up Camila while she shucked her clothes. Holy Mother Whore of God, when did she get so muscular? I thought she was a thin waif under those clothes she wore, but the damn bitch had been hardening into lithe wiry cords of muscle. The bitch was going to be trouble. It’s a good thing she didn’t have the sense to cut that fool long hair.
I couldn’t help comparing her body to mine. Where she was smooth hard lines, I was a bit rounded. Shit, I was pretty damn fat. I would never fit into those corsets back at the brothel now; my waist was a nasty 24 inches. It ain’t all fat, though, there’s muscle under there. It does give me some huge ass tits, though I doubt they’ll bewitch Camila like they did those Dutchmen this morning. Instead of corded muscles, scars lined my body, something I didn’t see on Camila anywhere. And I was a little jealous of her hair. My blond hair was cut smart and short and looked more like a man’s. Oh well, this wouldn’t be a fucking beauty contest.
Anna brought forth our weapons from the captain’s quarters. Eight long, nasty inches of ivory cock dangled from cleverly constructed belts. Anna helped me put mine on. It fitted over my cunt like a false phallus and cinched around my waist. I was just amazed that whoever had crafted these weird things had made one in my size. The belt went around my waist up around my ass though it left my actual asshole exposed. The ivory jutted in front of me like a horny sailor. The belt fit snugly over me, and I was surprised at the way the base of the phallus rubbed against my cunt. Just the slightest nudge of the ivory sent strange and exciting shivers to my pussy.
Camila’s phallus had been fitted on her as well. We looked at each other in a little wonderment. Naked except for the fake cocks that projected from us. We were undeniably women but something else right now. We were as dangerous as men, maybe more so.
“Remember the code of the Angry Cunt,” Anna cried. “Once the fight begins, no crew-sister can help on threat of having her hands cut off and being sold to a brothel! The two will fight ’til one is fucked by the other, for it is written in the code that no woman who cannot defend herself from a cock has any right to captain the ship. The duel will go on for as long as it has to. No surrender will be accepted.”
“Agreed,” said every voice on the ship.
I lunged at Camila. The stupid bitch was actually surprised. I punched her across her jaw and kicked her leg out from under her. To my dying day, I will treasure the look on her face as she took the first punch I think she has felt since coming aboard. It was a look of shock and indignation. She reminded me of the first man I ever killed.
As soon as she went down, I tried to fall on top of her. I thought my weight would bring her down, but the slut was too strong. She braced herself and actually stood back up. I was a bit surprised and a little unprepared when she elbowed me six or seven times in the gut. I let go of her and stumbled back.
I have to credit that bitch, she didn’t let up. Camila charged right at me and reached for my tits. She dragged her fingernails across my sore breasts hard enough to draw blood. I screamed and backhanded her real good. Watching that long black hair snap around was almost payback enough.
The blow didn’t stun her like the first one had. The whore kicked me hard in the stomach and when I bent over, she grabbed what little of my blond hair she could and pushed my head hard into the side of the ship. I saw stars for a moment and then I saw a whole damn constellation when she rammed my head into the side again.
I was trying to blink away the darkness when I saw a white shape come ramming for my head. I dodged the ivory phallus just in time. The cunt had tried to make me choke down her weapon and win the duel! She grabbed my hair and pulled me back to it. I braced my hands on her sweaty thighs and fought with all my might. For a long painful minute, I watched that wicked cock come closer and closer to my mouth. I knew if she got it into me she would face-fuck me while the crew watched. Knowing Camila, that would be a very long fuck.
It was my hair that saved me. Already sweaty from the long day, Camila couldn’t hold onto my short hair for long. I slipped right out and banged my head on the ship wall for the third goddamn time that day. The cunt actually laughed at me! I paid her back with a swift kick to her cock. The laughter stopped, replaced with a wonderful gasp of air. Woman or man, no one likes a foot jamming ivory into their crotch.
I stood up while Camila bent over. Her exposed ass taunted me. I grabbed her by the belt and pulled her to me. Camila responded with an elbow to my tit. I let go of her and cursed myself. Now it was me that was too eager.
We circled each other. I was tired from the Dutch ship earlier, while Camila was pretty fresh. She saw how hard I was breathing and smiled. Christ’s balls, I hated that smile.
She charged me and aimed low to tackle me around my waist. I think she meant to slam me up against the ship side again, but I was onto her. I grabbed her around the waist and just fell backward. She struggled, but gravity favors the fat, and we went down. She landed headfirst, which was good, while I only had to worry about the pain of a hard ship on bare back. That’s a lot of pain in case you were wondering.
We rolled a bit. Camila was strong, and she punched and kicked as much as she could. That was all right. I let her. It’s exhausting work to fight on the ground, and I’d rather take her hits than wear myself out fighting back. I just wrapped as much leg and arm around her as possible and held on. At one point, she bit my arm and I almost let go, but a quick grab of that curly hair and she wasn’t going anywhere. Next time she bit me, I let her. Like I said, I let the cunt wear herself out.
A curious thing happened while we wrestled. Our phalluses were jammed up against one another and that awful rubbing kept stroking my pussy. Every jolt, punch, kick, roll and hair pull was stimulating my phallus and making my pussy as wet as the sea. I hated Camila, but damn, I was getting horny and I think she was, too. Some of our grunts sounded more like groans, although we both would have sooner died than admitted it.
The piece of shit got tired. It was hard enough fighting without having to deal with my weight, too. My body was a mess of bruises and bites, but I was holding onto my strength. When Camila was panting and her punches got weak, I sprang into action. I got on top of her, and I rolled her over onto the deck floor. She cried out as her phallus jammed in an uncomfortable way, but that was too bad. I had her arms behind her back, and her Portuguese ass was right under my own weapon.
I was a little disturbed by how easy it was. I trapped her legs between mine and aimed my phallus for her ass. One quick adjustment with my hand, and I was aimed true. Camila struggled, but as tired as she was and with my weight still on her, she was as easy to hit as a galleon with all her sails down.
Camila screamed. I couldn’t see it, but I felt as every inch of the ivory entered her hole. I was inside her and the pressure against my cunt was amazing. I could feel my juices trickling down, and I knew that those juices were going into her ass.
“We have a winner!” Anna cried.
Fuck that. I couldn’t stop now. I lifted up and slammed back into Camila. She screamed and I kept fucking. My blood was up, and my pussy demanded satisfaction from this bitch. I fucked her. I fucked her like the sailors used to fuck me in the brothel. I fucked her like she was my wife, bought and paid for with a fat dowry. I fucked her like the pirate hunters, the soldiers and all the King’s Navy would fuck us if they ever had the chance. Women were hunted and enslaved all over the world, and that is why we the women of the Angry Cunt fought back, but for just this one day, I will fuck this stupid lazy bitch who wanted to be captain just because she saw it as an easy way to glory.
I had my orgasm. I came with a loud shriek that doubled as my claim over this cunt and as my claim over the ship. My crew-sisters cheered. Their cheer wrapped around me and brought me out of my battle lust. My body felt like it was on fire in a very good way but I stopped. I slowly pulled out of Camila. Eager hands helped me to my feet. I grabbed Anna and kissed her hard. The crew cheered again. These were my sisters.
Nkira brought me Captain Teresa’s hat. I put it on for another cheer. I was damn happy to have won, but I wasn’t ready to celebrate just yet.
“Look at her!” I yelled. I pointed at Camila’s crumpled body. “Look at her and remember that this is what we are here for! If you are weak, if you are lazy or if you are a coward, then the world will fuck your ass! Never forget that this is what waits for us if we are ever weak! Do you want to be ass-fucked by the world?”
“No, Captain Jane!’ the crew cheered. I shuddered. “Captain Jane” had a nice ring to it. Anna was right after all. Maybe I was meant to be captain.
Camila stood up. Damn if I knew how. She looked at me, and there was none of that smug look anymore. Her face was pale, but her eyes were enraged. I think she understood once and for all just what it meant to be a female pirate.
For that matter, I think I finally did, too.