It is going to be a busy weekend. You know it. I know it. All your kids/friends/relatives/lovers know it. We’re all going to be busy as Eqyptians with a fresh stack of square blocks. We’ll all be lucky to come out with my minds intact.
I am here to help. Years ago a therapist tried to explain to me the concept of a Happy Place. He suggested visualizing a calm serene place with a babbling brook and little bunny rabbits. Now I know he was trying to help me with my anxiety issues so he was suggesting calming things, but that’s not how my brain works. Bunny rabbits make me think of ‘Watership Down’ and I start thinking about mythology and if Fiver’s special senses passed down through the litters he had. No, calm happy places turn into blank spaces where my mind starts wondering all over the place.
What I need is a Sexy Place. That chills me right out. I find a quiet place and close my eyes. For two minutes I am in my dream bedroom. There’s sexy paintings on the wall, and bondage furniture is spread through the room. A forever young Raquel Welch is bent over and asking for a spanking. A cage holds a sexy nude woman with a British accent. A beautiful black woman with glasses offers me her breasts to nibble on. I spend a happy minute or two indulging in something terribly naughty till my worry lines are replaced with the smooth glow of desire.
This weekend build your own Sexy Place. Build a couple. Experiment with different decorations while your spouse burns something on the grill. Try out different lovers when your kids find a new way to break a brick. Decide between a threesome or a foursome when your parents drone on about the latest illness Aunt Lorraine picked up. Pick and choose to your tastes. No one else is ever coming over, so go ahead and do that sinful thing that you love to do.
I’m not saying you should zone everyone out. It’s the weekend. Have some fun if you can. But if you can’t, or you have had enough fun to last you a fucking year, then take a quick mental vacation to your Sexy Place and let something pretty and eager go down on you before you head back into the real world.