Jun 132006

Dear Sir or Madam,

Recently the work computer used here at the Erotiterrorist camp was sabotaged by Puritans. They destroyed a hard drive which resulted in a lot of re-installing of vital software. Because of this, various regular functions will be postponed till further notice. For example, the Friday Dildo-carving class is cancelled, as well as the Thursday Apartment Neighbor Fucking class.

We are contacting you in the strictest of confidences to enlist your help. Our talented computer specialists are hard at work but due to their high sex drives, they only work for tit pictures. Yes it’s true. They need fresh never before seen pictures of breasts to continue their work. Home made pictures only please, as these nerds have already committed to memory every single breast that is on the Internet.

I know you may be shocked. You may even be offended. We suspect some of you are shocked, offended and aroused. I ask you to search your heart and maybe your cunt and help us in our time of need. Remember when you were horny that one time, and you found a story on our site that helped you through this difficult time? We were there for you with a sexy story that made your toes curl, can’t you make ours curl as well?

Lastly, don’t do it for us. Do it for the millions, okay, thousands, ummm, more like hundreds of people who read this site every day. The world needs erotica. The world needs to get off and relieve the stress that comes from living in a crazy world where the media thinks Paris Hilton is sexy. Do it for the next generation of sexually active adults who need to know that sex is not about thin attention whores, but about real people, having real sex and getting really spanked.

You can send your donation to shonrichards at yahoo dot com.

Yours in porn,
Shon Richards

  8 Responses to “URGENT!”

  1. I don’t have a tit shot for you. Would you be satisfied if I let you slide your dick between my pillowy breasts in lieu of a photo?

  2. That is very kind, but sadly I am not one of the computer techs. Maybe if we took pictures of it those depraved nerds would be happy.

  3. Can you wait until Friday?

    I understand a time in need.

    I do.

    I really, really do.

    But, can you wait until Friday?

  4. Considering the tech guys just spent an hour trying to update the programs I use for work and couldn’t find the serial numbers, I think Friday will be in plenty of time.

  5. Damn puritans. They must have been the ones behind my outages too.

  6. EVIL BASTARDS!!! TREACHEROUS HACKS! *sigh* that felt nice,..thx!

  7. AAG- Not many people know this, but Puritans spend all day wrecking computer systems as a way to work off sexual frustration.

    Tragic- I concur :)

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