This was supposed to be a picture about me writing at my desk but it was close to bedtime and my cat Emma came by to let me know she was tired. So let’s talk about Emma instead.
Years ago my wife wanted a cat. She went to the cat lady’s place and brought back two kittens, which was one more than I wanted. One of the cats was a brave orange male and the other was a timid runt female. The timid runt female went under a table and stay there, hiding her head and shaking.
I took some food and placed it on the floor and sat there by the food. I then babbled for about two hours to the little runt. She eventually overcame her fear and slowly came over to the food. I reached out to pet her and she ran back under the table.
We did this back and forth for another two hours till her starving kitten body came back to the food and tolerated my petting while she ate. For the next two weeks we played this game of me making her come to me for food and me never chasing her when she ran away.
Now close to ten years later, Emma is the most loving pet I have ever had. She is still skittish and doesn’t like people as a whole, but she comes to bed every night for half an hour to say good night, and she’ll wait outside the bathroom door every morning when I wake up. She’ll jump in my lap, she’ll headbutt me if my face is close enough and she will lick my arm clean if she thinks I have gotten dirty. Emma will brave a room full of strangers just to get two stroking pets from me and then she’ll run back to under the bed.
In some way, I have taken the same approach to girlfriends and submissives. I don’t chase. I don’t push and I don’t aggressively pursue people when I am interested in them. I let them know that I care and when they come to me, I do my best to show my affection but when they duck back under the bed, I don’t go after them. I understand that other people have fears and I just wait for them to trust me enough to come back. Considering that I am currently sub-less, this strategy might not be working.
Oh well. I still have Emma. I can be cranky, sarcastic and short tempered and Emma will still come by to rub against my leg. She’s unconditional that way, and I treat people the same way. People have bad moods and sometimes outright hostile moods. If I love them, I still love them no matter what they did just now. I learned that from Emma.