This Sunday on April 23 I turn 33.
Know what that means?
It could have meant that I spent the week really depressed and sad over very important things. Like, I could be sad that my mom turned into a total crazy right wing bitch who disowned my lesbian sister. I could be sad that I don’t have a submissive to help celebrate my birthday. I could be sad that thanks to taxes I am broke this month and can’t go to the Atlanta Aquarium like I was planning. See, I have grief. I’ve got family, romance and selfishness covered.
But that’s not how we roll here at Erotiterorist. This week is Birthday Week. In fact, here’s the cake,courtesy of Moist and Tasty
Here we celebrate my birthday all week long like drunken sailors on shore leave. It’s going to kick ass. I’ll post the first part to a story that I think is the finest thing I have ever written but never posted anywhere. We’ll have our first Half-Nekkid Thursday. We may get completely bloggy on your asses and discuss my first orgasm with another person. I don’t know, all bets are off on Birthday Week at Erotiterroist! Shit will happen, let’s leave it at that.
My first topic I want to discuss is what to get a dominant male like myself for his birthday. As a Dominant male, some people think I want to blueprint and plan out my birthday moment by moment. No, that’s not what I want because that’s what I do EVERY SINGLE DAY. See? My submissive wears what I want her to wear, so yet another day where I pick her clothes, her actions and her orgasms is just another day to me.
What I want, and I am only telling you this because it’s Birthday Week and I am feeling shameless, is far more egotistical than total control. What I want is offerings. I want to sit in my chair while people present me gifts that that they hope make me happy. Like a Pharaoh over looking his subjects, I want to be surprised, delighted, entertained and aroused.
Dance for me and wear something I have never thought to ask for.
Buy me a book I have never heard of.
Give me a sex toy I have never played with and open invitation.
Write me something I never knew about you.
Send me naughty pictures I didn’t take myself.
Any other day of the year, I’ll be in charge and I’ll be calling the shots and I like it that way. But on my birthday, just this once, I want to be surprised and I want to be thrown off. I want a roller coaster of shocking tributes. Offer me something that I didn’t ask because you so badly wanted to give it to me.
So if you have a dominant person in your life, think about what I said. You already give yourself to them all year long so for one day, really treat them like a King you want to curry favor with and surprise the fuck out of them. Give them an offering for their Birthday and remind them that they own the bits they don’t even know about.