Apr 012020
 

Explorer’s Log: I am on my second day of surveying the star system designated “All of the Friends You Would Betray for Your Queen,” by Royal Astronomers. Representatives of the Interplanetary Championship Alliance have been very cooperative in allowing me to scan the eight planets here. Two of the planets are gas giants and currently being mined for precious elements. The other planets are fully inhabited and self-sufficient. They will make great conquests when the Royal Navy arrives.

I have received an invitation to land on the third planet from the sun. The local administrators have directed me to land in their capitol city for a diplomatic exchange. Food and entertainment have been promised. I made it clear that I will need three males and three females of the species for personal research on sexual recreation. The generous administrators have promised me they will provide a dozen partners for these experiments.

But before I do that, I plan to land first at a beach in the Northern hemisphere. Initial scans have picked up readings of rare isotopes originating from this location. There are no signs of industry there and in fact, the place appears to be deserted. Could these aliens not understand the treasure their planet has? For the glory of the Queen, I will check this area out personally. If the administrators ask why I landed on the wrong spot, I’ll blame it on a fault in my navigation computer. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: One of the minerals detected is Orgasmiam! The wonderous metal can induce an orgasm in most sentient beings by touch alone. The last time I encountered that Orgasmiam, I lost count of how many times I came in its presence. I can’t believe the locals aren’t extracting the crap out it.

Vaquel Di stood at the edge of the water. The skintight orange spacesuit clung to her curves and glowed in the fading light of the sun. The atmosphere was safe so she had left her glassteel helmet back on her ship. The wind blew through her short pink hair.

White sand surrounded Vaquel on one side, and clear blue water on the other. Red crabs scuttled around her feet. There were no buildings or signs of visitors, but there were curious dips in the ground that reminded Vaquel of craters.

Vaquel stared at the scanner in her hand. It detected large quantities of Orgasmiam. A second later, it detected no Orgasmiam but high levels of radiation. A moment later, the radiation returned to normal but now there was trace elements of chronal particles. The scanner couldn’t settle on a reading.

“Fuck, did I come all this way because of a scanner error?” Vaquel said.

There was a ripple in the sand. It was like a stone dropped on the surface of the pond, except the ripple was made of sand. It surged back and forth in imitation of the water that stopped just short of it. Most of the small red crabs skittered away from the disturbance, but a few stood where they were. The standing crabs bulged and twisted as Vaquel watched.

The scanner readings fluctuated. It detected toxic gas. The results changed to high levels of bacteria. Now it detected Ogasmiam but only a gram’s worth. The Orgasmiam vanished and now the scanner detected hardened carbon.

The hair on the back of Vaquel’s neck rose. She felt an urgent need to flee. Something weird was happening and she didn’t need to be involved.

But then again, there was that Orgasmiam reading. In a stream of random results, the Orgasmiam appeared to be the only constant, although the quantity fluctuated wildly. Was there a way to isolate and extract the rare super-metal?

Something large and red suddenly materialized on the ripple. It was hunched over and covered in red chitin the same color as the tiny crabs. Steam rose from its shell.

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel swore. She holstered her scanner and pulled her laser pistol.

The figure stood from its crouch and stretched its long arms. Large pincers were at the end of each arm. Red shell covered most of its body, but the shell was twisted and warped at random places. Cracks appeared in the head as it opened glowing pink eyes. A jaw opened on its hinges to reveal an excessively long white tongue.

“Stay right there,” Vaquel said. She slowly backed away.

The large red creature emitted a low buzzing sound. It didn’t sound friendly.

Vaquel took another step back and the sand shifted under her. She nearly stumbled but quickly regained her footing. The sand she had slipped on was moving like the area the creature emerged from. She looked all around the beach to see multiple ripples in the sand.

“Oh fuck,” Vaquel said. Maybe this is why the beach was deserted.

The crab humanoid lunged at her. It was quick but Vaquel was quicker. She stepped to the side and fired her laser pistol at the creature. The red beam seared a spot on the monster’s shell but otherwise had no effect.

A large red pincer swung at Vaquel’s head. The fading sun glinted on the sharp edge of the claw. Vaquel ducked the claw and lashed out with a kick. Her foot hit the monster’s leg around where a knee should be.

The creature’s leg went sideways. The creature buzzed louder, hopefully in pain.

Vaquel gave it no time to recover. She got behind the crab thing and placed the barrel of her laser pistol to the back of its head. Her thumb flicked the rapid-fire switch and she squeezed the trigger.

Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-ZAP! Eight quick laser blasts bored through the head of the creature. A red beam fired out from the monster’s nose. It fell to its knees and then face forward into the sand.

The laser pistol beeped. It needed six seconds to recharge.

Another red shape appeared in the sand. It was in the same hunched position but only for a second before it stood up. To the right of it, another creature appeared. To the left, a red monster materialized. Another appeared behind it, and then another, and then another.

Vaquel looked at her laser pistol. It was charged. If she got up close to one, she could kill it. Then all she had to do was dodge the other dozen crab monsters until it recharged again.

The air shimmered. Make that two dozen crab monsters.

Vaquel fingered her belt. She had a few explosives, a couple of toxin grenades, two vibration knives, and a garrote. Two dozen crab monsters might be doable but it wasn’t likely.

The sand rippled. The number of monsters doubled.

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel swore. She activated her radio. “Chairbot, I need an immediate rescue. Fly the probe ship over here, now!”

The radio crackled with static. Vaquel frowned. It was probably a side-effect of whatever was causing these fluctuating readings.

The crab creatures advanced towards Vaquel. They stretched out their arms and clicked their pincers together. Long white tongues writhed from their mouths.

A high-pitched note rang out over the beach. It was louder than the clicking of claws. It was louder than the ocean. It was louder than the pounding of Vaquel’s heart.

The sound came from a nearby dune. A figure stood there, holding some sort of stringed instrument in their hands. Tight white material stretched across their large breasts. Rugged black material covered their long legs. Short tusks jutted from a smiling mouth. A mohawk the color of fire sat on a gray skull.

It was a Goxx woman, one of the native species for these systems. Vaquel hoped she brought something more dangerous than a musical instrument. Then again, if the crab creatures got distracted ripping the new person apart, then maybe Vaquel could make a run back to her ship.

All of the crab creatures turned to face the new person. Angry buzzing sounds came from their mouths. The Goxx woman held the note and the buzzing grew more agitated. The crab things did not like that sound.

The woman pulled one hand away from the strings on her instrument. The note stopped. She snapped her fingers three times and then returned to the strings.

An avalanche of sound came from the instrument. It was like the roar of a thousand beasts. A visible wave of distortion flew from her instrument and shattered three of the crab creatures closest to her. Their shells exploded, as well as their internal organs.

Wet heat flooded Vaquel’s pussy. The fear inside her evaporated and was replaced with an urge to scream. There was something about that sound that just hit her in the libido. Or maybe it was the way the Goxx woman’s hips moved as she played her instrument. Vaquel would figure it out when she eats the woman out.

The crab creatures surged towards the musician. The sand rippled as more of their kind appeared. A hundred claws clacked together.

The Goxx woman kept playing. A dizzying scale of sound came from her instrument. How could so much noise come from such a simple looking device? It had the volume of a full orchestra and curiously, just as many different notes.

The sand erupted underneath the front row of crab creatures. Shimmering bolts of sound tore through multiple crab monsters. A vortex of noise crushed six crab creatures together into a small mass of pulp and shell. It was a symphony of destruction.

Each note sent a shiver to Vaquel’s pussy. Was it caused by the music or was Vaquel just naturally admiring the masterful way the musician slaughtered her enemies? She wasn’t sure, but she knew that she had to get closer to this sexy alien.

Vaquel charged forward. She slapped a grenade on the back of a crab creature’s neck as she ran by it. A shower of gore exploded behind her.

Red pincers reached for Vaquel. She ducked and rolled under an out-stretched arm. When she completed her roll, she leaped to her feet and fired her laser pistol into the mouth of a buzzing crab monster. The white tongue vaporized and the crab monster twisted in pain.

Three crab monsters stood in her way. Their claws clacked with angry intent. The one on her right feinted towards Vaquel while the one on the left attacked. Sharp claws snapped centimeters away from her nipple.

Vaquel pulled a hilt from her belt and flipped the switch. A short force field emerged to form a blade. She leaped at the center monster and buried her power blade into the monster’s face. Steam shot from the cracks of the creature’s head.

A pincer grabbed Vaquel’s right arm. Another pincer grabbed her left. The two flanking crab monsters pulled her back. Her arms out-stretched, Vaquel was helpless to defend herself.

The music suddenly stopped. Every crab creature froze. Vaquel stopped as well.

The musician pointed her instrument at Vaquel and resumed playing. A scream of primal metal ripped through the air. Vaquel soaked the crotch of her spacesuit.

The crab creatures holding Vaquel fell to the ground. White liquid poured out of their shell. The music had melted their internal organs.

Vaquel leapt to her feet and ran to the musician. The woman winked at her and a moan escaped Vaquel’s lips. Sweat had soaked the white material around the alien’s breasts and revealed more than it covered.

“I’ll watch your back,” Vaquel said, trying to stay cool around the sexy alien.

“Thanks,” the alien said. Her hands ran up and down the strings of her instrument faster than Vaquel could follow. A blizzard of sound shredded the crab monsters in front of them.

“What are these things?” Vaquel asked. She stood back-to-back with the alien woman. Pistol in hand, she fired at the eyes of the approaching monsters.

“They don’t have trelling Jonners where you come from?” the woman asked.

The woman’s hips gyrated as she played her instrument. Her muscular ass grinded against Vaquel’s backside. Vaquel instinctively grinded back.

“Ah, no,” Vaquel said when she remembered there was a question. “I was getting weird ass readings in the area.”

The woman laughed. “That is how you know the Jonners are coming. They exist on a different level of reality and come through cracks in the continuum. When they manifest, they take on the shape and characteristics of the local life form. Nasty gibwarts. They murder anything they find and try to establish a hive. It is best to kill them as fast as trelling possible. You must be the explorer that people are talking about.”

“That’s me. My name is Vaquel Di. What’s your name?”

The woman laughed. “My name is Wizide, the Champion of Music. Wow, it is so weird to meet someone who isn’t a fan.”

“Who said I wasn’t a fan?” Vaquel yelled. She reached back with her free hand and grabbed a handful of Wizide’s ass.

The Champion of Music laughed louder and grinded against Vaquel’s hand.

“Now that you are no longer in the blast zone, let’s show these dimensional vermin just how hard I can trelling go,” Wizide said.

The music dropped a few octaves and grew louder. Vaquel no longer wondered how such a small instrument could be so powerful. It must one of the icons that champions in this system fight over. According to her research, the championship icons amplify the natural talents of the champions that wield them. As Vaquel had seen today, Wizide had plenty of pussy-soaking talent inside her muscular ass.

A barrage of sound surrounded Wizide and Vaquel. Each note was a missile that liquefied a crab creature’s brain. A crescendo of sound shattered hardened shells. Melodies twisted buzzing monsters into broken shapes.

Vaquel shuddered against Wizide’s grinding ass. The music affected her as well. Vaquel’s nipples hardened against her tight suit. She couldn’t stop moving her hips to the beat. Juices gushed from her pussy in mini-orgasms.

More crab monsters appeared. There were hundreds of them. The sand rippled like an ocean in a storm as the monsters kept coming.

Wizide screamed. It was a cry of pure joy. Her mighty yell accompanied her music and caused a Jonner to explode.

The joy was infectious. Vaquel pressed a button on her belt and the orange spacesuit flowed into her belt. Her big brown breasts popped free and she pulled on a nipple. The orange suit climbed up her long legs and up over her crotch to reveal a wet mess of pink hair covering her pussy.

Vaquel turned around and pressed against Wizide’s back. There was no need for Vaquel to fight now that the musician had surrounded them in a bubble of sonic destruction. Vaquel’s large tits flattened against Wizide’s broad back. She reached around and pressed her hand against the champion’s crotch. Twin centers of heat radiated through the material.

“That’s right, you Goxx have two orifices,” Vaquel said.

Wizide nodded and then she turned around to face Vaquel. “What is that I smell? Hey, you fucked Dymare, didn’t you?”

Before Vaquel could answer, Wizide leaned down and pressed her face to Vaquel’s tits. The sharp tusks pricked Vaquel’s tender breasts. The musician took deep breathes as she kept playing her instrument.

Dymare was the Champion of Architecture. Vaquel had fucked him when she first entered Interplanetary Championship Alliance space. She remembered how his jaw unhinged at the point of climax and the thick muck he had sprayed onto her tits. That was weeks ago!

Vaquel didn’t mind the musician’s face buried in her breasts but she did worry about the monsters. Fortunately, Wizide was still playing and the crab creatures were still dying. Vaquel relaxed and lifted her tits she could smother Wizide in them.

“Lucky champ,” Wizide said when she came back up for air. She turned back around and said, “Get behind me again. I liked having you there.”

Vaquel stepped up to the alien’s back and reached around again. Her hard nipples pressed into Wizide’s back as her breasts squished against the hard muscles. Vaquel’s hands went right back to Wizide’s crotch and pressed against the two hot spots.

Wizdie leaned back into Vaquel as she kept playing. There was a playful tone to her music in addition to the violence and mayhem. The musician’s hips moved in a lewd manner. Her crotch grinded against Vaquel’s hands while her ass grinded back on Vaquel’s exposed sex lips.

Vaquel found a slit in the pants and opened it. The slit opened vertically from Wizide’s waist, down and around her crotch, up her butt cheeks and all the way up to her waist. Vaquel pulled on the seam and was impressed by how far it went. The Goxx’s bathroom habits must be a gymnastic feat.

Wet heat greeted Vaquel’s fingers. Working blind, Vaquel felt around and located Wizide’s slits. She pushed fingers into each slick hole.

Wizide cried out. The notes flowed faster. Jonner shells exploded in unison, adding a underlying beat to the champion’s music.

Vaquel dropped to her knees. With her fingers still inside Wizide’s pussies, she buried her face in the musician’s exposed buttocks. The pungent smell of ass and sweat filled Vaquel’s mouth. She stretched her tongue and took a lick.

“Whoa!” Wizide cried. “What are you doing?”

“What? Goxx don’t do ass worship?” Vaquel yelled.

Wizide’s buttocks clenched tight. Her pussies clenched even tighter around Vaquel’s fingers.

“Not with our trelling mouths!” Wizide yelled.

Vaquel was confused but then remembered the woman’s tusks. Fuck, these poor bastards must not do oral sex at all. That might be the saddest thing Vaquel had ever heard.

There was only one thing to do. Vaquel wiggled her face between Wizide’s muscular buttocks. Her tongue stretched and licked. Centimeter by centimeter, she worked her way to the Goxx’s asshole.

Fortunately, there was only one asshole that Vaquel could find. She focused on the large ring of muscle. Strange flavors met her tongue but Vaquel kept licking.

Wizide shuddered. Her buttocks clenched tightly against Vaquel’s hands. There was a brief note of discord from her instrument before the music resumed.

Vaquel pulled her mouth from the alien’s ass. “Should I stop?” she yelled.

There was a pause before Wizide answered. “No,” she finally said.

Vaquel plunged back into Wizide’s ass. The tight ring of her ass spasmed after each lick. Vaquel took one long lick after another.

The Goxx’s pussies clenched around Vaquel’s fingers. The angle was awkward but Vaquel slid her fingers in and out of the alien pussy. Slick textures rolled and squirmed under her fingertips. Juices flowed and soaked both of Vaquel’s wrists.

Wizide sang. It was a long note that warbled, rose and fell. It blended perfectly with her music.

Jonners rose in the air. Claws clicked and clacked as they struggled to reach the ground. The buzzing of a hundred monsters joined the whirlwind of music.

Vaquel didn’t see any of this. She was face-deep in grey alien ass. Her tongue licked a puckering asshole while her hands plunged into wet pussies.

She did feel something between her legs. Something brushed against her own pussy lips. At first, Vaquel thought it was the wind but no, it was too solid for that. It was a feather-light caress that rubbed back and forth against her sensitive sex lips. Juices dripped and formed a puddle in the sand.

Wizide shuddered. Her hips rolled and Vaquel’s mouth and fingers stayed on her. The music pounded faster and faster as the Jonners spun in the air.

“KWEEK!” Wizide shouted. The grey buttocks quivered uncontrollably. Overwhelming amounts of liquid sprayed from Wizide pussies. Vaquel’s hands were expelled from the orifices and then soaked in a thick slime.

“Queen’s tit,” Vaquel swore. She pulled away from Wizide’s ass and looked at her hands. Thick pink liquid shimmered on her hands. The smell was intensely feminine. It reminded Vaquel of the musk that the male Champion had sprayed her with. The females must do the same thing. Great.

The music transformed into a final ‘BOOM’ of sound. In that finale note, every Jonner was crushed into the size of tiny pebbles. As the music ended, the compacted remains of the inter-dimensional raiders fell to the sand.

“Trell furnace,” Wizide said. She dropped to one knee and planted her instrument in the sand. The musician shuddered as she leaned on her instrument for support.

Vaquel shook her hands but the pink liquid clung to her fingers. It was a good thing that there was a beach right there. She wondered how long her hands were going to smell like alien pussy.

“Are the Jonners gone?” Vaquel said.

Wizide nodded. “That is the last of them, for now. Jonner invasions aren’t usually that trelling big but this is a known crack in the world. It is why the beach is deserted.”

“Oh,” Vaquel said. She didn’t want to admit that she stumbled into a dangerous area so she resorted to a distraction. The nude explorer stood up and rubbed her pussy lips.

“Any ideas what we should do now?” Vaquel asked.

Wizide smiled. The two tusks on her mouth pointed upwards. “We need to detox the area. Jonners leave cracks that are transmittable somehow. I don’t understand the science, but I know how to cleanse us.”

“Us?” Vaquel said. She rubbed her pussy harder. “Does it involve close contact?”

“It does when I do it,” Wizide said. She stood back up and fingered her icon instrument. Low notes sang through the air, accompanied by the natural roar of the ocean.

Vaquel felt the music immediately. Soft touches danced over her neck. Something firmer rubbed against her ass. A tingling sensation caressed the lips of her pussy.

“Yes,” Vaquel moaned. She pulled her hands away from her sex and closed her eyes. The music washed over her as it fondled her body. Slowly her hips began to move, followed by her shoulders and extending to her arms.

Wizide added another string of notes to the ones stimulating Vaquel. These notes were slightly higher in pitch and the melody was faster. Due to the skill of the champion, this new melody didn’t clash with the notes making Vaquel sigh.

The ground trembled. Sand vibrated against Vaquel’s boots. Subatomic links to another plane of existence were extinguished one by one.

Vaquel didn’t notice any of that. The notes embraced her body, feeling like a hundred fingers rubbing tight circles into every centimeter of her skin. The music swirled around her hard nipples. The sounds reached deep into her buttocks and pressed lightly on her ass. Invisible vibrations stroked her sex lips with increasing pressure.

“Fuck,” Vaquel whispered. She danced to the sensitizing music. Her hips bucked against unseen touches. She moved her arms in the air as she connected to the sensual energy around her. Back and forth her head sway as she leaned into the fleeting touches on her cheeks.

Wizide kept playing. Dead Jonners blinked out of existence one by one as their link to this reality were severed. Sand rose in the air in clumps and then fell back to earth like white rain.

The champion repeatedly plucked a string and a swift beat emerged from the instrument. Vaquel felt something push deep into her sex. She froze in mid-dance and gasped. The invisible penetration plunged in and out like a swift cock.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Vaquel moaned. Her body resumed dancing as her pussy was rapidly fucked. It wasn’t a conscious choice on Vaquel’s part. The aroused explorer was a part of the music now.

The ocean air blew through Wizide’s mohawk. Her own hips moved in sync with Vaquel’s. Juices fell from her twin pussies as she played. The champion smiled with joy as she performed miracles with her instrument.

The thrusting music inside Vaquel’s sex increased in speed. She went over the edge and into pleasure.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried. She climaxed hard but her body kept dancing.

The music didn’t stop.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel screamed again. Her second orgasm hit harder than the first.

Wizide weaved all three chords together. The music filled the beach, the air and Vaquel’s pussy. The harmonious notes blended together and then exploded in a final surging conclusion.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel whispered as she came again.

The music stopped and Vaquel fell to the sand. Pleasure flowed through her body. The sand was damp with her juices.

Wizide walked over to her. “Was that close enough contact for you?”

“That depends,” Vaquel said. “Do you do encores?”

Wizidie laughed and began another song.

Mar 252020
 
Summoning sex demons has never been easier

“Your Demon Lover” is an erotic journal game created by me and for sale at Itch.io. This has been been a passion project of mine for a while now and I am glad I can finally share it with.

In this game, you will create a journal, write down a few spells of your own creation and then summon a sexual demon of your preference. Using a deck of playing cards, you will be given encounters to have with your demon lover. It is important that you write about these encounters in your journal. If the demon changes reality and steals your memories, your journal might be the only way you can recall what delights you experienced.

The book is written with an in-character style that helps set the mood and reinforce the tone of the game. It also includes suggestions for creating your prompt list and customizing the game to your preference.

I could have simply written one game but because I always do too much work, I created what is essentially three games.

If you wish to create a sexual playmate to have a carnal affair with, then I have rules for how you to set up your journal and 41 different prompts for what may happen.

If you wish to summon a demonic submissive that you can bind and dominate, then I have rules for how to set up your journal, bind and punish your demon, as well as 41 different prompts for what may happen.

If you wish to summon a terrible avatar of sexual cruelty to submit to, then I have rules for how to set up your journal along with 41 different prompts for the torments you may suffer.

Ultimately, I hope this game helps you write and create your own demon fantasies. If you do create your own lists of writing prompts, please feel free to share them with me.

Mar 192020
 

It is ironic to me that I am pretty much over fantasy as a genre, but some of the best smut being made today is in the fantasy genre. I thought I would take a moment to highlight three good ones right now.

First up is “I Roved Out” by Alexis Flower. I raved about this last year and every drop of praise I gave it back then still holds true. It was my favorite work of smut last year and a big inspiration. The second book came out for Kickstarter backers and will hopefully be in the store soon. You can still get the first book in the store. It is a huge book, so order it now so you can get started on it.

Have I mentioned how gorgeous it is?
Why would any wizard break up with a hot purple Elf girl?

Next up is “Fertile in my Ex-Boyfriend’s Dungeon” by Amanda Clover. It is an interactive erotica series of ebooks. You play a warrior woman who dates the worse wizard and when he dumps you, he places you inside his dungeon full of horny monsters. Also locked in the dungeon are other ex’s, all trying to escape.

I thought I had talked about the first book in the series, but a quick search of my blog says otherwise. That is a terrible oversight on my part as I have enjoyed each book in this series. There are a lot of choices and usually three different types of monsters in each book. Some books even give you a partner to help explore the dungeon with.

The only warning I would give is that there are mind control elements. All of the “bad endings” involved losing your will to escape to become a knocked-up besotted sex slave to a monster.

I don’t know why short green Goblin women do it for me but I ain’t complaining.

But Shon, what if I don’t want to play a woman escaping from a dungeon of horny monsters? Well, how do you feel about playing a Prince exploring a tower full of horny monsters? That is what you do in “Monster Girl Tower: Level One” by Jay Aury. It flips the script without sacrificing any of the humor or hot sex.

In this book, the crone has gathered hot monster girls and forced them to guard each level of her dungeon. You will need to need to fight (or more likely fuck) your way through each level. That is my kind of campaign.

I haven’t read the entire book yet, but what I had read is great. Jay is a good writer of monster fiction so I have faith he can do a great series.

Mar 152020
 

Hey, remember when I said I had to go find a job? Yeah, the global pandemic had different ideas. I came down with a nasty cold/flu/possible death virus and got desk-ridden for a week or so. Now that I can breathe again, smart people are telling everyone to stay the fuck home. Okay!

While I was sick, I played the new video game, The Longing. In this game, a strange stone king creates you and tells you he is taking a nap. He wants you to watch over his empty deserted underground kingdom and to wake him up in 400 days. That is 400 real time days. Have fun!

And you know, I have had fun. I’ve decorated my tine hole in the wall that I call home. I have explored the kingdom and picked up spare books. You can read the books in the game and that is why I am on page 900 and something of Moby Dick.

Luckily, time goes faster when you have a decorated home. So although I have 167 hours logged on the game, 720 hour have passed in the game. Still, that is a hell of a commitment to a game where you are utterly alone. On the other hand, America is kinda playing that game in real life right now.

My Demon Lover card game is almost finished. I think I should have a copy ready for purchase by the end of the month. It is a journal game where you summon to a demon to fuck, submit or dominate. I need to hurry to all you self-isolators can summon a playmate to keep you company.

Stay safe out there people.

Mar 042020
 

Last year my wife’s bosses were purged at her company. new bosses were brought in and they began removing anyone left from the old structure. My wife was given a bullshit performance review and told it was in her best interest to move on.

My wife is looking into other jobs but in the meantime, we decided that I should re-enter the workforce. Writing porn is nice but it seriously does not pay the bills. Like, not remotely.

I still plan to write porn. Writing will always be my passion. I wrote so much porn when I was working seven days a week at a factory job, so I know it is doable. I just need to temper my expectations.

Right now, there will not be a Vaquel story for March. The past month has been stressful and my writing time has been replaced with worrying time. Fear not! I actually have the next three stories mapped out, so it is just a matter of getting my mojo back. I will also keep journalling and updating the blog because I like sharing whatever weird shit I come across with you.

I currently have a job interview tomorrow. I trend to ace reviews and quite frankly, the place appears to be in “Hire any warm body” mode so I am hopeful I will get it. Getting a job will be a huge stress-reducer and I am sure I will get back to a regular writing schedule.

One thing I highly doubt I will do anymore are interactive erotica books. They take half a year to write and that was when I had no job at all. I just don’t see doing that anymore. And maybe that isn’t a bad thing. My latest book, “Be the Supervillain” is greatly under performing my previous interactive erotica books.

Something I do think I will be doing is creating more writing games. I greatly enjoy making “Traveling the Planes of Desire” and I am playtesting my next game, “Your Demon Lover”. Writing games are lovely because I feel like they are blueprints for others to write their own smut. The more people writing porn, the better.

So that is all for now. I hope you will stay with me as I shift to this new schedule.

Mar 022020
 

Dead Astronauts is a book by Jeff VanderMeer. You may remember VanderMeer was the man who wrote the wonderful Annihilation book and series which I loved with all of my heart. As weird and fantastic as Annihilation was, Dead Astronauts takes weirdness to an astronomical new level.

The book opens with three travelers in astronaut suits hoping dimensions. Every dimension there is the City, a terrible place at the center of various ecological disasters. In the City lurks the Company, the cause of said disasters. In some dimensions, the City and/or Company are already dead. In others they are thriving. The three travelers are trying to put a stop to both for their own reasons.

The book bounces between different characters, none of which are human as we know it. One is a sentient moss. Another is a monster that lurks in ponds. The closest we get to a human character is a space traveler who has an eye that can see the future.

With each character, we get a different way of thinking and this is where the book shines. The different creatures are so alien and familiar at the same time. You won’t look at a fox the same way again, I promise you. some characters we get multiple times as they live through different versions of reality. Each is unique and fascinating.

VanderMeer does some neat tricks with how he presents characters. My favorite is the monster that lurks underwater. His text takes up the bottom quarter of a page, leaving the top 3/4 empty. It reinforces that this creature lives deep under the service. It is a simple thing, but it helps you sink into the character.

I will say, this was a super challenging book to read. I was never on the verge of quitting, but I was often close to wondering if I would ever understand it. In the end, I think I do and I wonder if I would have been able to get the underlying themes if it wasn’t so hard to read.

As tough as it was technically to understand, the more important warning I would give about this book is the sheer grim cruelty of the story. The Company is made of bad people doing bad things to living organisms. Creatures are experimented on and murdered with a callous indifference. It is a wonderful indictment of human cruelty to those we consider less than us, and that is even before we get to the story of the poor homeless woman.

So yeah, Dead Astronauts is difficult to read because of subject matter and due to trying to understand inhuman minds in multiple realities. But, if you can make the difficult journey through the void of human cruelty, you will explore one of the greatest science fiction stories told today.

Feb 242020
 

There was a spell book in my elementary school library. I don’t recall it explaining a mythology or philosophy, but my vague memory of the spells suggest it was certainly Wiccan. That is pretty amazing considering that it was a small town school in the South. It was the early 80’s, so the Satanic Panic might not have been around. I highly doubt the book is still there, but I wonder.

The book had spells for money, health and of course, love. Even at nine years old, I had some insane crushes. I remember thinking the book could finally get a certain blonde girl to notice me. There was just one problem. The spell involved burning a note, and I was deathly afraid of fire. No love spells for me. Another spell involved burying something in the ground. My distaste for worms and dirt in general ruled that spell out.

The thing that I remember most was believing in the book. I had no doubt that the spells would work if I would just put the work in. I knew that David Copperfield was doing optical illusions, but for some reason, I thought magic spells in a book were as real as the book about rockets.

Later when I was a jaded teenager, I came across the Necronomicon in the Waldenbooks. I had started reading H.P. Lovecraft earlier that year and recognized the title. Now, I knew Lovecraft was fiction and I knew this alleged Necronomicon couldn’t possibly be the dread book of the Mad Arab. This was also a few years after my atheist epiphany so I didn’t believe in God, the Devil, spells or Cosmic Horrors.

I still bought the book. I was curious and liked Lovecraft enough to want to have even a fake facsimile of the famous dread book.

It was shit, of course.

But because the book was so serious about itself, I felt that tiny glimmer of belief that I hadn’t felt since I read that one spell book in elementary school. The force of conviction the book had convinced me for one tiny second that maybe this was real. That belief cracked and died when I recognized the Sumerian mythology it was trying to pass off as hidden truths. Other parts were poorly done as well and I remember finishing it with a monumental level of contempt.

Flash forward to today. I am working on a writing journal game where the player writes about their relationship with a demon lover they summoned. The game is written entirely in-character as if this is a real book of magic. There are dread warnings. There is a little bit of work involved in making your journal. The player is writing the Journal as a tool to hold onto their sanity as well as providing a sort of black box in case anything happens to the player.

In short, it is a bit full of shit, but I hope it also evokes a mood. I hope when people play it, they feel that delicious thrill of making something special happen. I hope when they write about their demon lover, it is with the same intense emotion that I felt when I cracked open the books of magic from my youth.

Feb 192020
 

Nemi was not a mermaid, though to be fair, I wasn’t sure what she was. She might have been Indian or Hawaiian, philosopher or ditz, grifter or independently wealthy or some combination I never guessed. But I knew for sure that she wasn’t a mermaid.

No mermaid would be able to grip so tightly with their legs. A mermaid’s sex should be smooth and hairless, not the bristly black briar patch Nemi had. No, a mermaid should smell of the ocean or maybe the beach while Nemi smelled of sex and apricot body wash.

Nemi never said she was a mermaid, but then Nemi never said much about herself. She asked of others. Everything was a mystery to her and she wanted to know it all. Some of it was straight forward, like where did viruses come from? Other questions were whimsical like why does gravity love us so much? A few questions were disturbing, like when she asked me what was the monetary value of a human life.

It would be easy to believe Nemi was a mermaid asking questions about the surface world. If she was a mermaid, it might explain why she would giggle incessantly as she straddled my hips and rode my cock. She had the hair of a mermaid, long and black with streaks of brown and gold. A mermaid might never say goodbye and instead just leave in the night.

But Nemi never said she was a mermaid. The only time she used the word was when it was my time to come. No matter the position and no matter the passion, Nemi would insist that I ejaculate onto her chest. She would laugh as the white pearls splattered against her large brown breasts.

“Mermaid style” she called it.

Feb 172020
 

Under the Silver Lake is a 2018 movie about conspiracies in 2011 Hollywood. The main character, Sam, is a piece of shit who investigates his hot neighbor’s disappearance. By investigating, I mean consulting conspiracy zines, interrogating sex workers and engaging in ruthless violence to those who are weaker than him.

Did I mention Sam is a piece of shit? I almost quit this movie because Sam is the type of narcissist hero that i find really distasteful in today’s modern age. He sleeps around on his girlfriend, ignores his responsibilities, literally beats up children and thinks he’s smarter than anyone else. He is a walking Twitter Troll.

Once I realized that the movie thinks he’s a piece of shit too, I was able to truly enjoy the movie. Sam might be the main character, but he is in no way the hero. If anything, he is a walking indictment of the type of anti-hero loser investigator that fiction seems to love so much.

As for the rest of the movie, holy crap is it fantastic. Weird shit is happening in Hollywood and there are clues, signs and secret messages everywhere. Sam is just the right kind of damaged person to pick up on the clues and his investigations lead to the secret deaths of billionaires, a Homeless King, an assassin with an Owl Mask and the true origin of Pop Music. Once the movie gets going, weird shit is uncovered on a constant basis.

I admire the ambition of this movie. Most conspiracy movies have red herrings or preach the idea that things you think are connected, really aren’t, you wierdo. This movie rejects the idea of red herrings. Almost every clue, no matter how stupid or random, leads somewhere. It creates a world that justifies the most paranoid theory you can come up with, but then suggests that with so many weird things happening, shouldn’t you really be focused on your own issues instead?

The movie also has its own secrets that you will have to work out for yourself. Who is the Dog Killer that terrorizes the neighborhood? What is the purpose of the naked murderer with the Owl’s Mask? What the fuck is that parrot saying? The movie never says, except it does if you put together the right clues and maybe read this one Reddit thread . . .

I think Under the Silver Lake is the modern Foucault’s Pendulum when it comes to conspiracy fiction. Instead of trying to prove a specific theory, it is a wonderful take on the people who are drawn to conspiracies, which includes the kind of people who would enjoy such a movie.

Feb 142020
 

DROP is a journal writing game about being an uber powerful soldier in a science fiction war. What war, what kind of soldier and what you are fighting is up to you. You wait between missions, writing in your journal all the details you want to add.

But eventually, the moment comes when your soldier/space marine/mech pilot must get into the drop pod and descend into the battle field. You’ll roll two dice and the result will determine whether you have a glorious victory or a bitter failure. Or sometimes both.

And then you write about. Some of your previous answers will be changed. You will lost pieces of what make you who you are. Battle by battle, drop by drop, you will explore the truest thing about war: War is Hell.

DROP is a lovely journal game about war and how it changes the people that wage it. I grew up in a military family and the propaganda that entails. Military science fiction has been a big part of my life but rarely does it touch upon how shitty war is to everyone involved. DROP feels like a welcome counter-balance.

At six pages, it has just enough information to get you going. The art and presentation is lovely and sets the tone. If you want to journal as a soldier having an existential crisis, I can’t think of a better game.