Jul 312014

Steven stretched out in the hammock. He had a clear view of the Mermaid Island beach from the porch. The waves rolled and twisted before him as his body relaxed into the netting. The sun was out and it was almost too hot to move. It was pretty nice.

Behind him he heard the yelling of his housemates. They were having a party watching the World Beach Volleyball Tournament. Guys from the neighboring beach house were over as well as many girls picked up from the Bikini Bar, the Fish Shack and maybe some that just walked in from the beach. Everyone was watching the game and getting drunk. It wasn’t a bad way to spend a summer vacation.

Steven had no interest in the game. It had been a really weird day. He saw a highly detailed sand sculpture of a woman going down on another woman. During lunch at the Fish Shack, some strange lady flashed him her shaved pussy from across the dining area. He saw ten different women reading dirty books on the beach. While shopping in the pier store, he found a seashell that was painted with the most perfect tits he had ever seen.

The weird day had made him horny. There was something in the water here at Mermaid Island. He wanted to go upstairs and jack off but his room had been claimed by Jason who was nailing a redhead he met. He thought about wacking off in the bathroom but he didn’t like to think of how many of his housemates had already done that. Fuck it, he would just lay out here and enjoy the beach in quiet.

He heard the porch door slide open and close. So much for peace and quiet.

“Got room to share?” a voice said. A girl’s voice.

“Of course,” he said before looking at her. He got his first good look at her as he scooted to the side to make room. She was short with even shorter blonde hair. Her small tits jiggled inside her blue bikini top. A blue bikini bottom stretched across tanned hips.

“My name is Alexandra,” she said as she climbed in. To Steven’s disappointment, she reclined in the opposite direction from him, her short legs ending by his elbows. Still, it gave him a good vantage point to look at her sweaty tanned body.

“My name is Steven. Not watching the game?”

Alexandra shook her head. “Not really in the mood to watch girl chase a ball in the sand. I’ve had a really weird day.”

“Really?” Steven asked. “Like what?”

Alexandra giggled. “Well, first I got hit on first thing in the morning by a guy who came right to me and offered to slap my tits.”

“Whoa!” Steven snapped. “Did you report to somebody?”

“Here’s the odd thing,” Alexandra said. “I had just read a dirty story last night about a girl getting her tits slapped and I had been thinking about it all morning. I was too shocked to say anything so I just kept walking.”

“Wow,” Steven said. Now he was thinking about Alexandra’s tits getting slapped. They were small but he bet they would still jiggle.

“Yeah,” Alexandra said. She stretched out some more. He felt her body scoot closer to his and relax into the curve of the hammock. “Then some lady asked me to take a picture of her while she sat on a giant sand sculpture of a giant cock.”

Steven laughed. “That isn’t so weird.”

“She stripped off her swimsuit before she climbed onto it,” Alexandra said. “She didn’t prepare me for that but I took the picture anyway.”

Steven laughed and his cock stirred within his shorts. He tried to mentally force his erection to stop but it was hard with a bikini clad woman in the hammock with him.

“I went to the Bikini Bar for lunch and I sat next to these two hot guys that were twins,” Alexandra said.

Steven’s erection stopped growing. He was thankful for a story of hot guys so he could prevent a tent rising in his shorts.

“And I overheard them talking about fucking an older woman that lived near them,” Alexandra said. “They were pretty graphic and apparently today she let them both come on her face.”

Steven’s erection steadily pushed against his shorts.

“So here’s the thing, Steven,” Alexandra said. “I am really horny and I don’t want to have sex because it is too fucking hot for that but I also don’t want to come alone. How about we just masturbate in this hammock and keep each other company?”

The tent in Steven’s shorts was fully visible. Alexandra giggled at it.

“Right here? What if someone comes out onto the porch?” Steven said.

“Then we’ll stop,” Alexandra said. “Come on, I’ll flash you a tit,” she said.

“Ok,” Steven said, as if the offer of nipple was what convinced him. She had him when she used the term ‘horny’.

“Good, let’s make this quick,” Alexandra said. She pulled one of her bikini cups to the side and flashed her breast at him. The pale tan lines around her pink nipple made his cock throb. “I don’t want my friends finding out about this. I’ll never live it down.”

Alexandra plunged her hand down her bikini bottom and she gasped. He couldn’t see her fingers but he knew she was inside herself now. She looked at him and her mouth opened in a moan.

Steven returned the favor by sticking his hand in his shorts. He grabbed a hold of his cock and started stroking. The swim shorts were thankfully loose around his hand as he pumped his cock.

The crowd in the house cheered as another point was scored. Steven and Alexandra froze in midstroke before resuming. They were alone, for now.

Steven reflected that this is how you end a weird day. He jacked his cock while watching a girl he just met stroke herself. Was this the start to the oddest summer romance or was this just a one time release of tension? He wasn’t sure which he preferred more.

Alexandra watched him as she stroked herself a little bit faster. She bit her lip as he groaned. Her free hand grabbed his knee as she stroked and Steven felt his cock grow harder.

His eyes kept moving back and forth over her body. He watched her pale exposed breast jiggle as much as he watched her tanned covered breast bounce. He watched her bikini bottom stretch to hold her stroking fingers and then looked up at her moaning mouth. He looked at her writhing tanned legs rubbing against him and then he looked at her eyes focused on the bulge in his shorts.

The hammock creaked as they stroked. The wind kissed their bodies as they wiggled together. The sun burned down upon them.

Steven thought he heard a sound from the porch door. He ignored it and stroked faster. Alexandra’s eyes looked to the door as well but she kept masturbating. They looked at each other and smiled at their shared conspiracy of lust.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Alexandra said and then she came. There was no doubting the way her mouth opened, the way her eyes clenched shut and the way she shook from bared nipple down to her tanned legs.

Steven came seconds later. A gush of seed filled his shorts and made a terrible mess but he kept pumping. He was caught in the moment and right now he just wanted to come with this strange girl in his hammock.

“Nice,” Alexandra said. She took her hand out and wiped it on the hammock.

Steven took his hand out and then put it back into his shorts to wipe his hand clean.

“What do you want to do now?” Alexandra said.

“Nap,” Steven said.

So they did.

Jul 282014

Every year the planet Euphoria is host to SlaverCon, the galaxy’s largest pleasure slave convention. It was founded by a group of slavers who wanted to exchange information and kill their rivals but over the centuries it has grown into a massive multimedia economic event. Slavers still attend, as do slave owners, members of the secondary slave industry and millions of people who fantasize about owning or being a pleasure slave.

It is currently a two week event, held at Queen Erishella’s Summer Palace. There is a seller’s market in the West Wing where rare and collectible slaves are sold to discriminating slave owners. The East Wing hosts booths run by those in the Slave Training industry as well as Slave Clothiers, Slave Genetic Enhancement clinics and the ever popular Slave Punishment Equipment makers. The South Wing holds seminars and panels on the treatment, purchasing, abuse and care of pleasure slaves. The North Wing is where competitions are held like Best Mouth, the Annual Anal Parade and competitive filking.

A popular pastime is Coslaving, where people dress up as famous pleasure slaves or as pleasure slaves from popular worlds. This is a creative expression for a lot of people as it lets them create costumes and share in the glamour of being a pleasure slave without the years of training or thrill of being sold as eye candy to a eunch owner.

Sadly, every year the more convincing Coslavers are mistaken for actual slaves and are pressed into service as real pleasure slaves. To date, no Coslavers has ever been successful in regaining their freedom.

–Euphorian Gazetteer

Jul 252014
Ack ack!

Ack Ack!

The image here is Vaquel and a Martian from Mars Attacks by the awesome Joe Gravel. For legal reasons I can never do a story about the Martians, plus there is the little fact that they are from Mars and Vaquel would never be in that part of space. Since I can’t do a story, I can at least get some art of them.

What I truly love about the Mars Attacks Martians is that they are total assholes. In the original collector cards, they are psychopaths but in the excellent Tim Burton movie, they are just assholes, plain and simple. They pretend to be peaceful just long enough to slaughter people not because it is a cunning plan, but because they find it funny. There is a lot of fun in that movie and I still love it.

Fun fact: after finishing this card, Joe told me his big inspiration for the interior was Wally Wood.  That was remarkable to me because Wally Wood’s erotic sci-fi work was an early inspiration for the Vaquel Di stories.

Jul 232014

The airlock was crammed with pirates. We simmered with quiet excitement. I checked my weapons for the hundredth time. I was eager to leap through that airlock and start killing security guards. A luxury spaceship full of the rich and famous was waiting to be robbed but first we had to slaughter their defenses.

I had the biggest erection inside my smart pants. There was nothing like a battle in close quarters followed by loot and screaming prissy women.

Morella, my First Mate, checked her communicator. “We’ve disabled the engines of The Pampered Dolphin. Estimated Navy arrival will be in two hours.”

I checked my needle pistol again. “All right crew, prepare to board! Take what you want and leave nothing behind!”

The airlock shook as we made contact with The Pampered Dolphin. Automatic locks engaged and bound our two ships together. The airlock opened and I waited a split second so some other pirate went through first. People who go in first tended to get shot.

“Arrrrrrr-heyyyyyyy. What the fuck is this?” the first pirate yelled.

I jumped in behind him. Instead of a corridor crammed with ship security, it was just a bunch of floating cameras. There was one guy and he jumped up and down when he saw me. My pirate eye instantly noticed his rich clothes, expensive shoes and ridiculously long mustache.

“Captain Blastpants! By the Lords of Space, it is true!” the man said. “You are a gift from the Gods of Wealth, let me tell you!” The ends of his mustache shook as he talked.

I stuck my needle pistol in his face. “Give me your money and tell me where the security is!”

He pushed my needle pistol away. “Oh I sent them away. I didn’t want them harming my savior. Oh wait, I should tell you who I am. I’m Alfon Zapri, of course you have heard of me.”

I put my needle pistol back in his face. “Nope.”

That bothered him more than my weapon. “I am the executive producer of Rich Bitches.”

I shrugged.

“I also created The Filthy Wealthy Life?”

I shook my head.

“Here Comes The Tallians?”

I pressed my needle pistol against his mustache.

“We are currently producing Keeping Up with Jen Valasha!”

I lowered my pistol. “Wait, is she the heiress with the big ass and long legs? What does her family’s company make?”

“Yes, she’s the one!” Alfon yelled. His mustache vibrated with excitement. “They make consoles controls for starships! We are filming her honeymoon episode on this ship and it has been a disaster!”

Morella cleared her throat. “Captain, we have less than two hours before rescue arrives. Maybe less.”

“Right,” I said. “Pirates, start robbing people. If you see that Jen woman, give me a yell. I want to see if that ass is for real.”

“Wait!” Alfon yelled. He jumped in front of me and I nearly shot him. “Listen, if you help us out, I can have a thousand MegaCreds transferred to the bank system of your choice.”

Lords of Space! If we ransomed this entire ship and everyone on it, we might not make a half of that!

“Pirates, hold up!” I yelled. “You, producer guy, talk fast.”

“Sure,” Alfon said. “Look, Jen married a musician, Que Tasa, and that was a big ratings coup for us. The thing is, the guy shoots his load in less than two minutes and then spends ten hours writing a song about what a stud he is. The network was expecting thirty minutes minimum for wedding night sex and we already have sponsors lined up. We’re at the end of the voyage and even if we loop all the times Jen and Que had sex, we’re short twenty minutes.”

Morella started to laugh. She saw where this was going.

“But now that we have a famous space pirate,” Alfon continued, “we can go with a new direction. We can film you assaulting Jen and I am sure a man of your stamina can last thirty minutes. We’ll surprise everyone and our ratings will go through the roof.”

“You want me to rape your reality star?” I asked. “I’m a space pirate but damn, you disgust me.”

“I’m not the one who came up with the idea!” Alfon snapped. “This is Jen’s idea. She knows what her audience wants and her audience wants to see hot pirate-on-heiress action.”

“This is ridiculous,” I said. “I am not going to fuck someone just so you can make a reality show!”

“Not for a thousand MegaCreds,” Morella said. “He will need at least five hundred more.”

Alfon and I looked at her in shock at the same time.

“That is too much!” Alfon said. “We can’t afford that!”

“You’ll make twice that in the memorabilia sales,” Morella said. She stared at the producer with the icy calm of an accountant turned pirate.

“Fine, fifteen hundred MegaCreds. Half now and half after we film it,” Alfon said.

I just got pimped by my First Mate.

“Alright, let’s go fuck,” I said. “Crew, go grab something to eat and socialize. No robbing but feel free to scare some people.”

I followed Alfon as he led me through the cruise ship. Morella followed behind me for moral support and to check our bank account online. It felt wrong to walk through a luxury ship without shooting things or hearing people scream. I didn’t like it.

“Some ground rules,” Alfon said. “Her ass is insured by the network so absolutely no anal sex. Don’t touch her hair or pinch her tits. Jen also wants to make sure that you don’t call her a slut because she hates that word. Also, her safeword is ‘discount’.”

“What the fuck is a safeword?” I said. I was cranky because a security guard snapped a picture of me with his communicator instead of pissing himself with fear.

“That is in case she needs to terminate the sex scene,” Alfon said. “She’ll say ‘discount’ and you pretend that you finished and walk away.”

“Rich people fuck weird,” I said.

We reached the premium suites. Grand doors the size of cargo bays stood before them. I was disappointed that we wouldn’t be blowing them up.

“Jen is waiting for you inside,” Alfon said. “Remember, this is a brutal violation on her honeymoon so she has to pretend to resist for the viewers. Just don’t touch her hair, pinch her tits or fuck her ass. Don’t say the word, slut. The safeword is ‘discount’! Oh, and absolutely no facials!”

I smiled. “I got it.”

I took out a demolition charge and placed it against the door. Alfon’s eyes bulged.

“I have to get some fun out of this,” I said.

The door vaporized in an explosion of light and sound but no debris. A smoking hole appeared and I stepped through it. The floating cameras followed me.

“Where’s this rich slut I’ve heard about?” I yelled.

“That’s Mrs. Valasha-Tasa to you, asshole!” a voice called out from a circular bed.

I got a little starstruck. Jen was gorgeous. A transparent gold robe was draped over her dark brown body. Legs as long as a planetary orbit stretched out on the bed. The robe fell open to reveal a plunging cleavage that promised riches within. Her face was a flawless mixture of genetic manipulation and dermatologist expertise. Long black hair shimmered and caught the light.

“Ahem,” Alfron said behind me.

“Oh yeah,” I said. “Hey Jen, I’m uhh, a pirate.”

Jen’s beautiful eyes bored into me and found me wanting. “Out of my room! You better leave before my husband finds you and kills you!”

She stood up from the bed. The robe fell open in what I knew was a calculated measure. Her fit body stood proud and defiant while the dark bush of her sex drew in my eyes. Fuck, she was hot. I mean, I had seen hot women before but this was different. This was a woman who had been bred, trained and cultivated to sell merchandise through the power of looking hot. This was weaponized sexiness.

I stood there like an idiot.

The cameras spun around me. Jen looked at me with utter contempt. Alfron’s mustache shook with fear as he realized I might be worse than the husband.

“Captain, if you are going to fuck the bitch, do it now before the Navy shows up!” Morella shouted.

“Right!” I snapped. This wasn’t about fucking. This was about stealing loot and making a profit. If there was one thing I knew how to do was to take something that didn’t belong me.

I walked over to Jen. My intelligent pants unzipped themselves and my cock sprung free. I tossed my needle pistol to the bed and I reached out for the impossible hot heiress.

The look in Jen’s eyes changed. The contempt was gone. Desire took its place.

Then I grabbed her hair and the desire turned to fury. Her hair was so soft in my hands and I yanked her head towards me.

“Don’t touch the hair, asshole!” Jen yelled.

“I’m the pirate here, slut,” I snapped. I twisted her hair to prove my point.

“Ow!” she yelled. She tried to push against me but I wasn’t some weak singer. I was too strong for her. In the struggle, her robe fell off. Wow, these reality stars were better at getting naked than most courtesans.

“Nice treasure chest,” I said as I grabbed a tit. It was plump and perfectly shaped for my hand.

Cameras hovered closer to observe the tit grabbing. One camera focused on my hand in her hair. One camera went to my standing erection. Two cameras zoomed in on the rage building in Jen’s face.

“You can’t do this!” Jen yelled. “I’m Jen fucking Valasha-Tasa and you’re a nobody!”

“You’re just another slut for my cock,” I told her. My hand released her tit and went straight for her nipple. A pinch and a twist and she almost fell to her knees. My hand in her hair kept her standing.

“ASSHOLE!” Jen yelled. “No nipple pinching!” She glared an angry look at Alfron who simply shrugged.

“You got a lot of rules for a victim,” I said. I twisted her nipple harder.

“FUCK!” she yelled. She stared at me with hatred and I saw her lips clench together. I could see the beginning of her safeword forming on her lips.

“Need to say something?” I asked her. I twist her nipple the other way. Her breast contorted under the force of my twisting.

She drew in a sharp breath and clenched her lips tighter.

“Are you sure?” I asked her again. I pulled hard on her nipple and her breast stretched with my fingers.

Jen shook her head and then she spat on my face. “Fuck you!” she snapped.

“Your choice,” I said. I let go of her nipple and reached into my pockets. I pulled out the gravity cuffs and slapped one on each of her wrists. I was saving them for if I met a frisky robbery victim but they were good for spoiled bitches too.

I spoke a command and the gravity cuffs pulled Jen’s hands into the air. She squealed as she was lifted into the air until her feet were off the ground. Jen twisted and screamed but the gravity cuffs didn’t budge.

She kicked me with her beautiful long leg. I grunted as she hit my stomach but I was glad she didn’t get my cock. I grabbed her leg by the ankle and pulled it to the side. Jen cried out as I grabbed her other leg by the thigh and pulled her apart.

The cameras moved in to get a better look at her sex. Millions of Jen’s fans across the galaxy would never forget this moment. They had me to thank for it.

“Anything you want to say before I fuck you?” I told the struggling heiress.

Jen spat at me again. She glared at Alfron and the cameras before spitting at me again. I laughed. I wasn’t hearing any safewords.

“Thought so,” I said as I slipped inside her.

Lords of Space! Her vagina was perfect. Her pussy must have had a flesh-shifting implant because after three thrusts, it was the perfect shape for me. It was the perfect wetness, the perfect level of heat and the perfect grip. Fuck, no wonder her husband couldn’t last inside her!

“Fucking loser!” the heiress yelled at me as I fucked her suspended body.

“Nobody pirate!” the reality star cursed as I pounded her perfect pussy.

“Piece of shit thief!” the mega-celebrity swore as her tits bounced with every thrust.

“You don’t even have an endorsement deal!” the beautiful bitch screamed as she twisted on my cock.

It only made me fuck her harder. The cameras zooming around us trying to get a good angle were distracting but her insults kept me focused. Her bouncing tits and struggling legs in my hands brought me closer to climax but I was motivated by animosity. I was fucking the shit out of her purely for spite and man, she made sure I had plenty of spite to go.

Still, her pussy was too damn good. All the contempt in the world can’t stop you from shooting your load into a hot spoiled slut. I was going to come soon and the thought of Jen triumphing in even the smallest way was too much to bear.

I pulled out of her pussy. Leaving that kind of perfect fit might have been the most heartbreaking thing I had ever done.

Jen smiled as I pulled out. “Too much woman for you?” she asked.

“Nope,” I said. “Just wanting to see if your ass is real.”

I walked behind her. Jen started screaming. “If you touch my ass, I will kill you, your crew and your entire family!”

I slapped another gravity cuff on her ankle. It pulled her leg out to the side and once the other gravity cuff went on, she was spread eagle and floating before me. She could twist and struggle but she wasn’t going to be kicking or escaping.

“I will find all of your loved ones and wear their skins!” jen screamed.

I believed her. She certainly had the power and the evil. She might be the worse enemy one could every make.

On the other hand, her ass was fantastic. Round and brown, it was an ass that launched a thousand holovids. It was an ass designed for fucking. It was an ass made breast men into ass men. It was a true booty worth dying for.

I pulled her ass cheeks apart.

“I will buy your home planet, enslave the population and make them into medical test subjects!!” Jen screamed.

My cock was slick with her pussy juices. I pressed the tip of my cock against her tight little brown hole.

“I will do a biography video of you that will claim you invented cancer!” Jen howled.
The cameras floated closer. One camera was right over my shoulder so it could see my cock enter her. Another camera floated before Jen’s face so the moment of penetration could be recorded.

I heard a lot of threats, but no safeword.

I pushed in. Her ass resisted only briefly before taking me in. My cock invaded her ass completely.

“Lords of Space,” Jen moaned.

“Lords of Space,” I agreed. Her ass was tighter than a singularity. She shuddered and my cock throbbed inside her. I was embedded inside her and our bodies fused together in symbiotic pleasure.

I fucked her ass. I started slow but soon speed up. Her magnificent ass could take it. No, an ass that wonderful demanded it.

I grabbed her hair and yanked her head back. She screamed and shuddered some more.

I reached around and grabbed a tit. The cameras captured my hand marauding her breasts. Jen screamed clenched around my ass.

I assaulted her ass. I took it with all the force and savagery of piracy. I ravished her ass not for the money, the fame or even spite. I claimed her ass with my cock because it was made for fucking.

Morella stepped into my line of vision. She tapped her communicator. It was time.

I let go of self control. I felt my orgasm building inside me. I couldn’t wait to release myself inside her ass.

That was when I remembered Jen’s last rule.

I pulled out of her ass. I snapped a command and the gravity-cuffs deactivated. Jen fell hard to the ground. She looked up at me and I didn’t recognize her. All of the hostility was gone. Her face had transformed into lust and happiness.

I grabbed her hair and my cock. She smiled before she realized what I was doing. As she started to scream, my cock erupted.

I blasted her face with my seed. A solid stream flew into her mouth and she started to choke. The rest of my seed splattered against her cheeks and lips. An errant stream coated her hair. I kept pumping until I was empty.

The cameras caught it all.

“And cut!” Alfron yelled. “We got enough for the special!”

“The bastard broke every rule!” Jen yelled. She tried to wipe my seed from her face but she just smeared it around.

“That’s reality programming for you!” Alfron said. “Don’t worry, baby. This video is going to break all the sales records! We’re going to sell more than even Oris Mal’s wedding!”

“Really?” Jen said. She stood up and her demeanor changed. Now instead of outrage or lust it was all greed. “Maybe we should sell commemorative gravity cuffs to go with the video.”

“You’re a genius!” Alfron said.

“We really need to leave,” Morella said.

My intelligent pants zipped me back up. I recovered my gravity cuffs and needle pistol. Jen went to the showers with Alfron, still talking business plans. I wasn’t expecting her to say goodbye but hey, I wasn’t used to ravishing women and having them forget me so soon.

“All fifteen hundred MegaCreds have been wired to our accounts,” Morella said. “Not a bad haul.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “It might pay more than piracy but reality shows just make me feel dirty.”

Jul 212014

I saw the Purge 2 this weekend. My wife saw the 1st movie and I hadn’t but hey, what else were we going to watch this week, Sex Tape?

The Purge 2 is about a future American society that has one night out of the year where all crime is legal. People use this time to mostly kill people instead of knocking over banks or stealing a better laptop. The movie is about 5 people who through various bad circumstances are caught outside of their homes and are trying to get to safety. They elude gangs, psychos, goddamn rich white people, and a secret government conspiracy. For a horror movie, it was quite bloodless and more of an survival action movie. I liked it.

I read reviews after seeing the movie where most critics and regular viewers couldn’t get past the premise. They pointed out the plot holes in having a night of crime and were eager to point out how utterly realistic it is for America, a country obsessed with guns and violence, to endorse and profit off a night of guns and violence. They questioned the legal system and were skeptical of the enforcement policies. Mostly, they just thought the premise was full of shit.

Which the premise is totally full of shit. Most fiction is. Harry Potter and a magical society that sneaks around while having World Cup Quidditich matches is full of shit. Star Wars and their single biodome planets is totally full of shit.  Vampires dating high school Mormon girls is totally full of shit. Shit is the fuel that keeps our fiction running.

Still, I understand that when suspension of belief is not achieved, it is the art’s fault, not the reader’s. Okay, I know it but I have a hard time believing it.  I have trouble believing in other people’s lack of suspension in belief.

Lately I have been reading Thomas Ligotti and Jorge Luis Borges so maybe I am mentally predisposed to believing in weird shit. My attitude when I watch a movie or a series is that everything in that fictional universe makes sense in that universe.  The people in the Purge really like murder and don’t bother to think of other crimes. Star Wars meteorology climates must have been really fucked up by the presence of the Force.  Muggles in Harry Potter might be mentally handicapped and incurious.  To me, it is more fun to revel in the differences of a fictional world than trying to shoehorn real world stuff into it. Instead of doubting whether the characteristics of a fictional world is beleivable, I ask myself why the fuck this weird detail works in this universe.

Which brings me to porn. If I have one grand universal theory for my stories, it is this : All my porn stories take place in a world where porn scenarios make sense. Pizza Delivery Guys accept blowjobs in lieu of payment because for some reason, they make enough money that they can afford to pay for the occasional pizza. BDSM societies are never corrupted by serial rapists because they have their shit down tight. Aliens have a surprisingly high number of sexually compatible genitalia for a reason I am totally going to get into.

To me, plot holes are a hint that a place is more interesting than what is on the surface.

Jul 162014

“Thank you for coming, Dr. Wei,” Dr. Pedwick said. “You come highly recommended for your skills and your discretion.”

Sexual Archeologist Kimberly Wei smiled. “I am always happy to help the High Museum. When we have time later, I would love to browse your collection of Folk Pornography.”

Dr. Pedwick frowned. He also looked disapprovingly at Kimberly’s expansive cleavage. “I am sure something can be arranged, though we prefer to call it Folk Sexual Expression.”

“Of course,” Kimberly said. She decided to release her long black hair from her bun to see if that would upset him too. Her silky hair flew around her head as she gave it a casual toss.

“Let’s go right to the problem, shall we?” Dr. Pedwick said. He turned around and hurried to the basement stairs.

Kimberly suppressed a smile and moved quickly to keep up. “I heard you discovered that the artifact in question has a secret inside?”

“It has several,” Dr. Pedwick said. He unlocked the basement door and led her through twisting corridors of shelves. “We recently x-rayed the artifact along with the others in the collection. We were surprised to discover that the interior was filled with gears and mechanisms that were baffling to understand. Even more interesting was that a scroll appears to be secured inside the artifact. It became obvious that what we thought was a curiosity was in fact a sort of puzzle box.”

“I have cracked a few puzzles in my time,” Kimberly said. Dr. Pedwick froze in his tracks. “And left them intact of course.”

“Good,” Dr. Pedwick said as he resumed walking. He had gone pale for a moment. “I don’t need to remind you that this artifact is priceless and belonged to one of the most important men in history.”

“And yet it might never be shown in an exhibit because of the prudishness of museums and their sponsors,” Kimberly said.

Dr. Pedwick ignored her entirely accurate observation. “Here we are,” he said. He unlocked another door and led them into a small room.

Sitting on a table under a single light was the artifact. It was a foot tall and covered in small metal scales. Two heavy balls formed the base of the artifact that leaned ever so slightly to the left. The tip was as wide as Kimberly’s gasping mouth. Two chairs sat to the side, waiting to be used.

“Da Vinci’s Cock,” she whispered.

“We prefer the term, Da Vinci’s Penile Facsimile,” Dr. Pedwick said.

Kimberly laughed. “Of course. Alright Doctor, I can take it from here. You may go. I will let you know if I unlock it.”

Dr. Pedwick made a face. “I thought I would be assisting you.”

Kimberly shook her head. “I work better alone. Besides, what would your colleagues think if they found out you assisted a sex archeologist?”

“Quite true,” Dr. Pedwick said. “Very well. Be sure to use the gloves in the box there and observe strict handling protocols. It is a priceless artifact.”

“And a pretty cock,” Kimberly said.

Dr. Pedwick made another face and left. The door clicked behind him.

“Be sure to use the gloves,” Kimberly mocked. “I’ve been on more digs and sites than he ever has!” She pulled out the latex gloves and put them on with a simmering fury.

After the gloves were on, Kimberly picked up Da Vinci’s Cock. It was heavy. The metal scales covered it from balls to tip. She tried pressing on a few of the scales and felt a little give. Yes, there were definitely some pressure points.

She tried a few twists like the kind that opened First Emperor’s Chastity Cage. That didn’t work.

She tilted the cock from side to side to see if counterweights would unlock it like it did with Madam Curie’s Radium Vibrator. That didn’t work.

She tried pressed the cock around the shaft to see if there was a secret button like there was on George Washington’s personal handcuffs. That didn’t work.

Kimberly frowned. Well, she didn’t expect it to be easy but it was always nice when it was. She set the cock down on the table and took a seat on a chair.

The cock leaned proudly on the table. The scales caught the light like a phallic disco ball.

Kimberly reached out and cupped one of the balls. They were larger than real life but still exquisitely shaped. It took a craftsman like Leonardo to make balls this realistic.

There was a click from the cock. Kimberly froze, her palm still cupping the ball.

“Hmm,” she said. She put her other hand to work cupping the other ball. Nothing happened.

Kimberly carefully rubbed the two large balls. She could feel the cold metal through her gloves but she was gentle as if she was rubbing flesh. She closed her eyes and imagined that both balls were warm and soft as she rubbed.


She opened her eyes. It was hard to tell, but the cock looked like it was a little bit straighter. She kept rubbing the balls to see if she could create any more clicks.

Nothing happened.

Kimberly let go of the balls and reached for the shaft. She got a firm grip and tugged it across the table towards her.


“Oh, you liked that?” she asked the cock. She tightened her grip and slowly stroked down the length of the cock.


“You are a dirty puzzle cock, aren’t you?” Kimberly asked. She tugged up the cock all the way to the tip.


She tugged back down. Nothing happened. She stroked back up. Nothing happened. She quickened her pace and pumped the cock a few times. Nothing.

Leonardo Da Vinci was a master of many things but people were hung up on his drawings and his secret codes about who was married to whom. They overlooked his other skills like his unparalleled work in pressure plates and mechanism sensitivity. Kimberly had a thought on what she needed to do next.

“Oh, just like a man. They are always greedy.”

Kimberly leaned forward. She was glad that Dr. Pedwick wasn’t here. He would lose his shit.

She opened her mouth and her tongue darted out. She gave the tip of the metal cock a single lick.


Kimberly smiled and licked again, this time under the rim of the cock’s tip.


Kimberly kept licking. She licked the slit of the cock’s head. She took a long loving lick of the perimeter of the cock’s tip. She stretched her mouth and managed to get the tip of the cock into her mouth.

Click. Click. Click.

Now she was sure that the cock was moving. It straightened and no longer leaned to the left. The girth increased ever so slightly.

Kimberly kept licking. She ran her tongue down the length of the cock. She planted little kisses on the large balls. She nibbled her way back up the cock’s tip, her teeth biting ever so gently.

Click. Click. Click.

The metal cock wasn’t the only thing changing. Kimberly’s sex was damp. There was a heat between her legs that was responding to the genius of the cock’s crafter. She wished that she was sucking Leonardo’s real cock but this would do.

A gloved hand undid her pants. She shifted as she slipped latex covered fingers down past her panties, down past her trimmed bush and down into her sex.

Kimberly groaned onto the cock.


She opened her mouth as wide as she could and tried to take the cock into her mouth. It was too big. She choked on it as her lips struggled. Spit ran down the sides.

Click. Click. Click.

She plunged her fingers in and out of her sex. She imagined Leonardo looking down on her as she sucked his cock. She pictured his cock growing to immense sizes within her mouth. She fantasized about the groans he would make. Her fingers made wet squishy sounds in the secured basement room.

Squish. Squish. Squish.

Kimberly stopped trying to swallow the cock and instead showered it with kisses. Wet lips rubbed against the head of the cock. Her darting tongue traced facsimiles of veins in the metal shaft. Hot breath washed over the straightening artifact.

Click. Click. Click.

She stopped kissing the cock and pressed it to her cleavage. The heavy cock was slick from her spit. She stroked herself faster as she enjoyed the weight of the metal cock. Her mouth opened her tongue licked the tip as it nestled between her tits.

Squish. Squish. Squish.

The cock expanded in size. The metal scales shifted as she kept licking. Kimberly’s fingers rubbed harder against her clit. Her long black hair fell on the balls and a hinge appeared on the cock. The seat shook as Kimberly fingered herself.

Click. Squish. Click. Squish.

One long suck on the head of the cock and a panel opened. Kimberly kept sucking as a small rolled up scroll fell out of the cock. She trembled as a wave of triumph swept over her followed quickly by an orgasm deep in her sex.

Kimberly moaned. With shaking hands, she pushed the cock away from her mouth. It shined with her spit. With trembling fingers, she pulled her fingers out of her sex. They glistened with her juices.

She pulled her gloves off and put on new ones. Still breathing hard, she reached across and picked up the scroll. She carefully unfolded it to see what Da Vinci had hidden away all these years.

It was a small sketch. The famous face of the Mona Lisa looked back at Kimberly, as well as her bare breasts, wide hips, hairy bush and the deeply embedded metal cock inside of her. Kimberly was amazed. Somehow she had managed to get that monster metal cock inside her.

“Certainly explains the smile,” Kimberly said.

Jul 142014

Hello, I am Vix Plaser for GNC, with an update to last week’s holostation hijacking.

Military sources can now confirm that the Savage Thrust, commanded by notorious space pirate, Captain Blastpants, was responsible for taking over the entertainment holostation, Prayer-Wheel-5, in the Chastity System. His motive for replacing the normal religious channels with hardcore Foglian Pornography was the apparent disruption of patrol ships and merchant vessels. Captain Blastpants is alleged to have attacked a record breaking forty-two merchants ships during the twenty hour broadcast of porn.

For more on this story, we turn to our senior pirate correspondent, Cassie Neemix, who is reporting live from the Chastity System Temple of Defense. Cassie, what have your sources told you?

“Thank you Vic. Sources here have told me that the onslaught of vivid porn and graphic depictions of sexual genitals crippled the infrastructure of the Chastity Defense Navy. Military personnel were so disgusted by what they saw that they were unable to turn away and carry on their duties when merchant vessels sent distress calls. Those who did respond were slow and uninterested in performing their duties. Four hundred and sixty eight cases of exhaustion were reported as members of the military attempted masturbation for the first time.”

That is awful, Cassie. What about the civilian population? How did it affect them?

“That is a good question, Vic. Even though control of Prayer-Wheel-5 is back under the Temple of Prayer, rioting continues all across the Chastity System. Civilians are demanding equal orgasms, freedom to kiss and access to all sorts of phallic fruits and vegetables. The Temple of the High Priest insists everything is under control but planets all across the system are staging protests where the High Priest is being fucked in effigy.”

Cassie, is it true that the Temple of Defense is now enforcing a blockade around their own planet?”

“That is correct, Vic. After tasting pornography for the first time, the citizens of Chastity System are now demanding more of it. There is a thriving black market profiting off the smuggling of sexual materials into the system. Allegedly, the most successful smuggler is Captain Blastpant himself.”

Shocking news, Cassie. We will now take a commercial break but when we return, our financial experts will tell you which pornography companies you should invest in during this boom in demand. I’m Vic Plaser and you’re watching Galactic News Channel.

Jul 092014

Explorer’s Log: I am on day four of my twenty day voyage to the star system designated “Queen’s Perfect Posture” by Royal Astronomers. I have officially left Forian space and it will be another seven days before I enter Yeth space.

The Forians have told me that the Yeth are a synthetic race created by a race known only as The Fourth. The Forians have a low opinion of the Yeth and find them incredibly boring. Considering that the Forians consider any race that doesn’t have orgies to be dull, I will keep an open mind with the Yeth. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: Artificial Intelligence races are rare so I am looking forward to cataloging this race. The Royal Navy awards ten bedslaves and a summer beach home to anyone who finds a new A.I. race. I’ll get a bonus of a trained massage bedslave if the race is easily manipulated with logic paradoxes. I have to break out my old explorer’s manual and find a few choice riddles to-

“Attention Filthy Organic!” Vaquel Di jumped as the message was broadcasted over her comm system. A ship was on an intercept course with her and was broadcasting on all frequencies. According to what the Forians had told her, it was a Yeth ship.

“Damn, I’m still a good ways from Yeth territory,” Vaquel said. “They value their privacy.”

“Greetings Yeth Ship,” Vaquel broadcasted back. “I am Vaquel Di of the Euphorian Royal Navy. I come on a mission of peace and mutual discovery.”

The viewscreen activated. A purple metal box mounted on a larger metal box looked at her with glowing yellow eyes.

“Vaqueldi, my designation is 908wa. You will be allowed to visit our machine perfection pending an assessment of your pollutive qualities. Do you consent to a biological assessment or do you agree to be vaporized to prevent your disgusting organic matter from infecting our system?”

“Uh, I guess I’ll take the assessment,” Vaquel said. “Can we do it on my ship or should I come to your’s?”

“Negative, Vaqueldi,” the 908wa replied. “I will dock with your ship and come aboard for your biological assessment. Any resistance will be considered a sign of your inherent organic mental instability and you will be vaporized. Comply, yes/no?”

“Uh, yes,” Vaquel said.

The screen went blank. “Looks like I’ve got visitors,” Vaquel said.
She stood up and took a quick personal assessment. Her short pink hair was freshly cut and looking cute. She was wearing a blue skintight spacesuit that was partially unzipped to reveal plenty of her brown cleavage. The Yeth probably didn’t appreciate tits but it was no reason not to look sexy.

The probe ship shook as the Yeth ship docked. Vaquel stood before the airlock and wondered if she had enough time to dig out a logic paradox from the manual. She decided to lower the gravity instead so her brown breasts would float more.

The doors opened and a tall metal humanoid stepped out. It looked different from the box that Vaquel had been talking to earlier. This robot had two arms, two legs and quite a few scanning devices located at the crotch. It was certainly an interesting design choice.

“Welcome to my ship,” Vaquel said. “Are you 908wa or a different Yeth?

“I am 908wa controlling this biological assessment unit,” the robot replied. “Biological assessment begins now.”

“Sure, what do you need me to-fuck!”

908wa grabbed one of her arms and lifted her from the ground. The other hand of the robot began to spin like a circle saw. Vaquel kicked at the robot but it barely budged.

“Remain still for inorganic shedding,” 908wa said.

The robot brought the blade to Vaquel’s chest. She stopped struggling as the spinning blades came in contact with her spacesuit. Blue fabric flew everywhere and Vaquel felt a slight tingling on her skin.

“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel yelled. “You could have asked me to undress!”

908wa didn’t respond. It held her by her wrist as the spinning blade went to work on the rest of her body. It shredded the suit around her heavy breasts and freed them. It cut through the fabric on her hips and revealed the pink bush of her pubis hair. The blade sliced through the tight material on her long legs and as well as the material clinging to the curves of her ass. The spinning blades went up and down her arms until they were as bare as well. When she was completely nude, 908wa released her and dropped her to the ground.

Vaquel landed on her feet and did a quick check of her skin. She wasn’t bleeding anywhere. The blade had never touched her.

“Asshole,” Vaquel yelled. Before she could make a run for her weapons, 908wa grabbed one of her tits. The robot’s hand was large enough to engulf her entire large brown breast.

“I do not have a posterior waste exhaust,” 908wa said. “Prepare for surface skin contamination assessment.”

The fingers of the Yeth’s hand slowly squeezed Vaquel’s tit. She winced but then the hand began to pleasantly vibrate. The wince turned into a moan as the strongest vibrations were centered on her nipple. The vibrations sent warm pleasant tingles throughout her body.

“This isn’t so bad,” she moaned.

“Microscopic traces of a dozen different alien genetic materials has been discovered,” 908wa said.

“What can I say? Aliens of all species love big tits.”

The robot released her tit. Vaquel winced as the blood came back into circulation. That didn’t stop her from making a dive for her laser pistol.

908wa grabbed her legs as Vaquel was in midair. She hit the ground softly and was grateful that she had lowered the gravity.

“What are you doing?” Vaquel yelled. The Yeth grabbed both of her ankles and spread her legs apart. She tried to remember the paradox about two brothers lying.

“Assessing orifice contaminants in four, three, two, engage.”

Something warm and vibrating touched her sex. Vaquel froze in mid struggle. She looked over her shoulder to see 908wa was extending a robotic arm from its crotch to probe her sex.

“Shit, why didn’t you say so?” Vaquel said. She relaxed and lifted her hips. The probe slipped into her sex expanded within her.

“Whoa!” Vaquel said. The vibrations were nice but having her sex filled was even nicer. She pushed down with her arms to raise her torso while 908wa still held her ankles. It was all about the positioning.

“Filthy,” 908wa said, obviously reading some sort of internal scanner.

“If you do it right,” Vaquel agreed.

“Prepare for secondary orifice assessment,” 908wa said.

As Vaquel worked out what that meant, something wet and slippery splashed against her ass. “Ohhh!” she said in understanding.

Another probe pushed against her ass. Vaquel held herself up with one hand while her other hand reached behind and grabbed a butt cheek. She pulled the cheek to the side as the probe wiggled and made its way into her ass.

“Yes!” Vaquel yelled. The probe pushed and buried itself in her ass. She became a bit concerned as it pushed deeper than Vaquel thought was possible. Then it pushed a little deeper.

“Hold on, you got to be care-ohhhhhhhhhh.” Vaquel’s protests were stopped by the powerful vibrations of the anal probe. Pleasure rippled through her body and made her eyes clench shut.

“There is almost as much genetic evidence of other races in your waste exhaust as there is in your sexual intake,” 908wa observed.

“Yeah, aliens love a big ass too,” Vaquel moaned.

The vibrations increased as more sensitive scans were done. Vaquel shook and writhed as 908wa held onto her ankles. She lifted her torso from the floor as she did her best to hump the probes inside her.

908wa pulled her legs further apart. The probe in her sex went deeper and hit a sensitive spot that made Vaquel cry out in orgasm. The probe in her ass went deeper and she felt like she was being split apart in the most wonderful way possible.

The twin vibrations grew stronger. Vaquel came again and she dropped weakly to the floor. Her breasts were crushed by her body weight as the robot lifted her legs higher. Vaquel surrendered completely as she enjoyed another climax.

Vaquel’s sex was dripping with pleasure. Beads of sex juice slid down her sex, down her waist and onto her breasts before falling to the floor.

“Disgusting,” 908wa declared as the vibrations increased.

“Disgust me,” Vaquel said insensibly. She slapped the ground as yet another orgasm rippled through her body.

The probes inside her withdrew. Vaquel moaned with disappointment as they left her sex and ass. 908wa released her ankles and she drifted slowly down to the ground.
“Prepare for energy intake port assessment,” 908wa said.

Vaquel was in too much afterglow to work out what that meant. She got her answer when she felt a powerful hand grab her sweaty pink hair and pull her to her knees. She moaned happily at this unexpected domination.

A probe hovered in front of her mouth. Vaquel felt a moment of terror at the thought that it might be the probe that had been in her ass. She didn’t have time to react as it lunged for her lips and entered her mouth.

Thank the Queen, the probe tasted like pussy.

Vaquel choked as the probe assaulted her mouth. She laughed as the probe fucked her face. She moaned as the probabe hit the back of her throat.

Who knew that a robot race would fuck her too? And fuck her well.

“Filthy,” 908wa declared. His probe left Vaquel’s mouth, glistening with her spit.

“Did you enjoy it too?” she teased.

“You have been cleared to visit the home world of the Yeth,” 908wa said. “You must adhere to the following protocols. One, you must wear an environmental suit at all times. Two, any exposure of your disgusting organic filth to the surface of the planet will result in immediate environmental sterilization including but not limited to atomic disintegration or plasma cleansing. Do you agree to these protocols?”

Vaquel smiled lazily. She was barely listening. Getting double penetrated and face fucked had that effect on her. “Sure,” she said. “Are you going back to your ship?”

“Negative,” 908wa said. “This drone unit will self-destruct in order to prevent organic contamination.”

Smoke rose from the robot’s joints. Vaquel sobered up from the afterglow and jumped for cover just as the robot exploded and showered the inside of her ship with shrapnel.

Vaquel growled from behind the hygiene panel door. “I am going to tell these assholes every logic paradox I can find.”

Jul 072014

Flash your tits at ten strangers on the beach.

Flash your ass at five strangers on the pier.

Flash your sex at someone in a restaurant.

Give a handjob to someone on the beach.

Take a turn behind the glory hole in changing room #6 at the pier.

Masturbate in the men’s room at the Bikini Bar.

Let someone twice your age grope your tits.

Have the seashell painter to do a portrait of your sex on a seashell.

Pose naked next to one of the dirty sand sculptures and have someone take your picture.

Jul 022014

The wave knocked Tina down from behind. She fell forward into the water and the water carried her off her feet. She reached down and grabbed wet sand. Her knees hit the bottom and planted themselves. Tina rose up and spat out salt water. She was barely in a foot of water but her heart was racing.

“Damn,” Tina said. That wave came out of nowhere. Another wave hit her from behind but this time she stayed stable. She climbed back up to her feet and headed for the shore. She needed a break

She pulled long wet red hair away from her face. It occurred to her that people might have seen her and thought she was in trouble. She glanced around and there was a man and the woman in the water near her but they didn’t seem to notice Tina.

Tina noticed them. They were laughing and splashing in the water like children. The water receded and Tina saw the man’s bare ass from behind. She quickly glanced at the woman and what she first thought was a bikini was just tan lines. The couple was completely nude.

“Shit, you can’t do that on a public beach,” Tina said. Mermaid Island had a reputation for being a party beach but there were limits. She averted her eyes and focused on getting back to shore.

Tina left the water behind and felt the sun’s warmth immediately. Two steps later and she was already missing the water. It was supposed to be warm today but already it felt twice as hot as when she had went into the water. How long had she been out there?

She stopped a few feet away from where she thought she had left her towel and bag. There was nothing there. Her heart pounded as she ran to the spot. It was completely bare. There wasn’t even an imprint from where she had laid out her towel.

“Fuck!” Tina yelled. She had never had anything stolen from the beach before. What should she do?

A blonde woman was on her stomach a few feet away. Tina called out to her. “Hey, did you see a bag here?”

The blonde rose to a sitting position. Tina noticed that the woman wasn’t lying on a towel; she was lying directly in the sand. Even stranger, the tanned blonde was naked like the two had been out in the water. Sand clung to the woman’s curves like a second skin.

“You don’t need a bag here,” the blonde said. “Just enjoy the sun and the sand.”

“I think my stuff had been stolen,” Tina said.

The blonde shook her head. “There are no thieves in Lasyrc. Sit, relax.”

The blonde spread her legs and Tina saw the sand clinging to the woman’s bare sex. The woman reached between her legs and began stroking her sex with a casual slowness. She wasn’t even looking at Tina as she masturbated; she just looked back out to the water.

“Uh, you know there are kids here, right?” Tina said. Was someone having a swinger party at Mermaid Island? Was that legal?

The blonde laughed. “Do you see any kids here?”

Tina was about to say something but she noticed something. There wasn’t the usual sound of kids screaming in the water. She looked down the beach and the only sand castles were being made by adults. There were plenty of adults, and all of them naked, but no kids.

“Okay, I have had enough,” Tina said. Her bag had been stolen, everyone was naked and now this woman was masturbating right in front of Tina. She was going to go to her timeshare and figure out what the fuck was going on.

Tina headed for the dunes. The hot sand was hard to walk on and Tina cursed the people who had stolen her sandals. She cursed the news for not telling her that today was apparently exhibitionist day at the beach. She cursed the beach for not being nearly as relaxing as she needed.

A warm tingling formed between her legs and Tina laughed. “Really?” she said out loud. She was horny. Well, despite what her ex had claimed, Tina wasn’t dead below her waist after all. Even her nipples had joined in and were rock hard under her swimsuit.

Would it be so bad to go sit with the blonde? Tina could sit in the sand and soak in the sun while she rubbed one out. Maybe the blonde would watch. Or maybe the blonde would help?

Tina found herself smiling. Wouldn’t that blow Chad’s mind? She thought about texting him and letting him know what he was missing.

No, fuck Chad. Tina came to Mermaid Island to be with herself, not her grudge with Chad.

As she drudged through the sand, Tina wondered where the beach access was. She didn’t see it anywhere. She decided to climb the dune. It grew steeper the higher she climbed and towards the top, Tina had to drop to all fours to keep climbing.

“I am going to my room, and finishing off all the wine coolers,” Tina promised. She debated maybe grabbing her purse from her room and then hitting the Bkini Bar. She was annoyed and horny. Some halfway cute guy might get lucky.

Tina was smiling at the thought but the smile vanished as she reached the top of the dune. She looked out from the top of the dune in disbelief.

There was no parking lot. There was no road. There were no condos, beach houses or even the Bikini Bar. Even the pier with those awful hot dogs was gone. There was nothing but sand and water.

“Where am I?” Tina said out loud. Could she be at the wrong beach? Did the water carry her out and drop her off on another beach? That didn’t make sense. She had only been under water for a few seconds. No, it might have only been a second. There was no way the water could have taken her to a place like this and for that matter; there wasn’t a place like this anywhere near Mermaid Island.

This was impossible.

A group of people sat on the other side of the dune. They were naked as well. Most of them were kissing but Tina didn’t care. She needed answers.

Tina walked down the side of the down. It wasn’t as steep going down. In a few seconds, Tina was at the bottom and walking towards the group.

“Excuse me,” she called out. None of the group answered her. They kept kissing each other although several of them swapped kissing partners. She had never seen so many people kissing at one time. Despite the questions racing through her head, she felt her sex respond with longing.

“Excuse me, I need some help,” she said again.

The group kept kissing. Many of them changed to kiss other people. Tanned hands groped tanned bodies. The hands didn’t limit themselves to the person they were kissing.

Tina felt the heat surge between her legs. When was the last time that Chad kissed her like that? Did he ever?

“Please, I am really confused right now,” Tina said. “I don’t know where I am.”

“They won’t answer you unless you join them,” a voice said.

Tina looked around. A seagull stood beside her. It looked at her with curiosity.

“Fuck, am I losing my mind?” Tina said.

The seagull flew off.

Tina looked back at the kissers. It was a stupid idea. These people didn’t have the answers; they just wanted to make out. She should be looking for someone who would talk to her and not taking advice from a seagull.

Her tongue ran over her lip. It had been a long time since she had been kissed.

Tina sat down next to a tanned man ho hadn’t shaved for a few days. She tried to think of something to say but there was no need. He smiled and leaned in for a kiss. Tina stopped worrying about words and opened her mouth.

He was a good kisser. He was the best kisser. His tongue moved with hers. His lips nibbled and merged with hers. He was gentle when she wanted him to be and he was rough when she craved it.

It was as if he had spent all of his adult life unlearning all the dumb things men do when they kiss. It was as if he had trained for years and years on how to kiss properly. He was fantastic.

They broke their kiss and Tina sighed happily. She felt the tension within her wash away. She felt relaxed and a little buzzed.

“It doesn’t matter where you are,” a man to her right said. Tina reluctantly turned away from the guy she had been kissing to face this new person. He was blond and rugged like he had lived on the beach for years.

“It matters to me,” Tina said. “I need to get back to my timeshare.”

“Do you?” the man asked and he leaned in for a kiss.

Against her better judgment, Tina moved in for a kiss. He was even better than the other guy. She fell into his lips and lost herself. She felt her body slipping away as nothing existed except for her lips and his lips. For one beautiful moment she was nothing more than a mouth exchanging affection with another mouth.

The kiss ended and Tina felt her body return. It almost felt strange to her. She had forgotten what it was like to feel her arms. She found the experience of sitting on her ass to be strange. Her eyes opened and she saw colors for the first time.

“I don’t understand,” Tina said. What she didn’t understand was too numerous to put into words.

“She doesn’t know the way to Lyrsac,” a woman said behind her.

“She needs answers,” the blond man said.

“Go talk to the Fisher,” the first man she kissed said.

“Yes, talk to Fisher,” another voice said.

“Talk to the Fisher,” all of the kissers said before going back to kissing each other.

Tina stood up. Her lips tingled and felt lonely. She wanted to stay and kiss until the sun fell but instead she stood up. She needed answers.

She didn’t know which way to go so she followed the beach. She passed a couple fucking on the beach, their bodies covered in sand. She walked past a man fucking a seashell, moaning with pleasure from every thrust. She walked past four women performing oral sex on each other in a chain of tanned flesh and wet hair.

As she walked, Tina became more and more aroused. Her fear of being somewhere new was washed away with waves of desire. She wanted to touch herself. She wanted to join the oral chain of women. She thought of returning to the kissers.

A woman sat in the water with her legs spread open. She was naked and her skin was dark brown. Her head was bald and her large breasts glistened with sea water.

A wave came in and the woman spread her legs wider. She cried out with pleasure. Her hands dug into the wet sand as she screamed an orgasm. As the water receded, Tina saw a green fish wiggle out of the woman’s bare sex.

Understanding awakened. “Are you the Fisher?” Tina asked.

“Yes,” the woman said, never looking away from the water. “Some change bodies but they never forget their lust.”

“I was told you could explain things to me,” Tina said. “I don’t know where I am and people are acting weird.”

Another wave came and this time Tina could see dozens of green fish. They fought with each other as they swam towards the Fisher’s open legs. Only one was fast enough to swim into the Fisher’s sex and part her lips.

“Fuck!” the Fisher cried out. She writhed with sexual pleasure.

Tina waited. The water came to her feet and one of the green fish brushed her toes. It was a surprisingly warm touch.

The water pulled back with the current. The fish left and the Fisher stopped moaning.

“You are here,” the Fisher said. “You are one of us.”

“I don’t understand,” Tina said.

“You won’t understand until you shed your clothes,” the Fisher said. “Shed your clothes and find the Tall One. He will tell you the way home.”

The wave came back and this time there were many more fish. The wave foamed as hundreds of fish fought each other for the Fisher’s legs.

Tina walked away from the Fisher. The cries of orgasms were carried on the wind.

Less and less was making sense. Tina felt more and more lost but she wasn’t afraid. If anything, she wanted to see what happened next.

She thought about the Fisher telling her to shed her clothes. It made sense. No one wore clothes here. Women ran by, their breasts bouncing with wild abandon. Men reclined on the beach, their cocks pointing to the ocean.

If anything was unnatural here, it was Tina wearing clothes.

Tina pulled on the strap of her swimsuit. The blue fabric slipped off of pale breasts that never saw the sun. Her nipple tingled as if the sunlight was kissing her. When she pulled down the other strap and revealed both breasts, she felt warmth in her breasts that went all the way down to her sex.

She pulled her swimsuit further down. Her butt was exposed and she felt a heat build in her bottom. As her swimsuit slipped past her sex, a hot flood of sensation radiated from her sex.

Tina stepped out of her swimsuit and stood nude on the beach. The sun’s rays were warm kisses on her naked body. The gentle beach wind was a sweet caress against her needy flesh. A wave reached across the sand and fondled her toes.

Tina moaned as the beach seduced her body.

The sand shifted in front of her. It formed the sculpture of a figure that refined itself into a muscular man that further grew into a muscular man with a large cock. The sand moved and flowed until the sculpture was ten feet long in the sand.

The sand sculpture stood up. The sand shifted and flowed as he towered above her. His limp cock swung between his legs and was as long as her arm.

“You need want to know the way home,” the Tall Man said.

“Yes,” Tina said.

“Touch yourself and I will point the way,” the Tall Man said.

Tina was too aroused to have shame. She grabbed a sensitive breast and squeezed. Her other hand went between her legs and touched her hungry sex. One stroke and then another before plunging between her lips as eager as any of the green fish.

She stood before the Tall Man and masturbated. The sun watched as she pulled on her nipple. The waves rose and fell in time with her stroking fingers. The wind blew her red hair as she shook with pleasure.

The Tall Man’s cock grew. Sand migrated from the beach and travelled up the Tall Man’s legs and added to the girth of his cock. It lengthened and swelled as Tina touched herself.

Tina stroked faster. She pictured that monstrous cock entering her. She imagined the sand filling her sex and expanding. She wondered if the sand would be wet and smooth or dry and biting.

She moaned. Her hips swayed and fucked the air. Her fingers sunk into her pale breast. Her sex clenched tightly.

The Tall Man’s cock became fully erect. It pointed to the ocean and Tina knew it was pointing home.

Tina’s fingers went deeper inside her sex. She looked out to the ocean. She saw the shimmering lights of a sunken city. She saw underwater gardens where people fucked and swam and fucked some more. She saw a great temple where strange rituals called forth the waves. She saw so many people fucking in beneath the ocean.

Tina came. Pleasure crashed through her body like a thunderous wave. She cried out and her cry seemed to shake the ocean itself.

“Go home,” the Tall Man said.

Tina nodded and walked to the water. The waves came and welcomed her body. She kept walking as the warm water came to her waist. Green fish kissed her sex as she walked. The warm water rose above her breasts, past her hard nipples and up her sensitive throat, past her open lips and over her head. The sand beneath her dropped away and she began to swim.

She headed home to the sunken city of endless pleasure.